The Best Blondie Quotes

Blondie: Two hundred thousand dollars is a lot of money. We're gonna have to earn it.

Tuco: I'm very happy you are working with me! And we're together again.
[pause]
Tuco: I get dressed, I kill him and be right back.
Blondie: Listen, I forgot to mention... He's not alone. There's five of 'em.
Tuco: Five?
Blondie: Yeah, five of 'em.
Tuco: So, that's why you came to Tuco.
[pause]
Tuco: It doesn't matter, I'll kill them all.

Blondie: If your friends stay out in the damp, they're liable to catch a cold aren't they... or a bullet.

Blondie: You see, in this world there's two kinds of people, my friend: Those with loaded guns and those who dig. You dig.

Blondie: If you shoot me, you won't see a cent of that money.
Angel: [frowning] Why?
Blondie: I'll tell you why.
[Blondie kicks the coffin lid open]
Blondie: Cause there's nothin' in here!

Blondie: I mean our partnership is untied.
Tuco: [looks down at the noose still hanging from his neck]
Blondie: Oh no, not you, you remain tied. I'll keep the money and you can have the rope.

Blondie: Put your drawers on, and take your gun off.

Blondie: [appearing beside Tuco] Were you gonna die alone?

Blondie: The way I figure, there's really not too much future with a sawed-off runt like you.

[to Tuco]
Blondie: [clicks his tongue] Such ingratitude, after all the times I saved your life.

Blondie: [With Tuco's gun pointed at him, Blondie has no choice but to let his new partner hang] Sorry, Shorty.

Blondie: Every gun makes its own tune.

Tuco: [thinking the cavalry they've met are Confederate] Hurrah! Hurrah for the Confederacy! HURRAH! Down with General Grant! Hurrah for General... what's his name?
Blondie: Lee.
Tuco: Lee! LEE! Ha ha! God is with us because he hates the Yanks too. HURRAH!
Blondie: [spits] God's not on our side because he hates *idiots* also.
[the commander of the cavalry patrol they've met reveals his blue uniform]

Tuco: [trying to read a grave that is marked "Unknown"] Unk-... unk-... there's no name on it.
Blondie: [showing him the stone the name was supposed to be written on stone] There's no name here, either. See, that's what Bill Carson told me... it was the grave marked "Unknown" right beside Arch Stanton.

Tuco: I'll kill you!
Blondie: [gasps out in a whisper] If you do that, you'll always be poor... just like the greasy rat that you are.

Tuco: [trying to read a note] "See you soon, id... " "idi... "
Blondie: [taking the note] "Idiots".
[He hand the note back to Tuco]
Blondie: It's for you.

Blondie: You may run the risks, my friend, but I do the cutting. We cut down my percentage - uh, cigar? - liable to interfere with my aim.
Tuco: But if you miss you had better miss very well. Whoever double-crosses me and leaves me alive, he understands nothing about Tuco. Nothing!
[Chuckles, bites cigar]

Bounty: [three bounty hunters have cornered Tuco] No! No pistol, amigo! It won't do you any good. There are three of us!
Mexican: [holding a wanted poster] Hey, amigo! You know you got a face beautiful enough to be worth $2000?
Blondie: [from behind them] Yeah, but you don't look like the one who'll collect it.
[Lights a cigar]
Blondie: A couple steps back.
[the bounty hunters draw their guns but Blondie guns down all three]

Blondie: [counting Angel Eyes' men] One, two, three, four, five, six. Six. Perfect number.
Angel: Huh. Isn't three the perfect number?
Blondie: Mm... yeah. But I've got six more bullets in my gun.

[surveying some Civil War carnage]
Blondie: I've never seen so many men wasted so badly.

Blondie: It's not a joke, it's a rope, Tuco. Now I want you to get up there and put your head in that noose.