The Best Charlene the Gator Farmer Quotes

Robby: [Referring to Joe's Roadrunner] Least I know my car will blow his off the road!
Charlene the Gator Farmer: You really think you can match that slant 6 of yours against this 426 hemi? Huh? Well then let's do it little boy!
Clem: That's my girl!
Robby: Let's rock, Dirt-boy!
Joe: Let's go!
Robby: [Joe speeds off, leaving Robby in his dust] Damn.

Joe: There are three rules when dealin' with a deadly alligator. And yes, they are deadly, don't kid yaself. Rule number one, I'm number one. Ya hear that, I like ta kid around. Rule two, the croc's number two. Now before I begin...
Kid: Hey, what's rule three?
Joe: What's that? Kid, give me a break now.
Kid: So you don't know rule three?
Joe: Yeah, you want a match? My face and your ass! How 'bout that friend? Huh? I mean, your ass and my face, what's up?
Joe: Here we go, I'm a bit of a crocophile, so don't try this at home. This here's Rocky, and he ain't no puppy. Now, let's see if Rocky's got some cavities.
[Joe opens Rocky's mouth]
Joe: This mofo knows not to mess with Sir Joseph Dirt.
[Joe puts his head inside Rocky's mouth, then screams as Rocky moves his head up and down thrashing Joe around]
Joe: [Rocky throws Joe out of his mouth as crowd laughs and cheers] Oh, when bad pets go bad, dang.
Joe: [Babbling nonsensically] It's like the cartoons, I'm seein' all "tweet tweet".
Charlene the Gator Farmer: Joe, what can I do fa you? Ya not makin' any sense.
Joe: Not makin'? Not makin'?
[Flashback to Joe's little sister in the car on their way to the Grand Canyon]
Joe's: That's why Dad named you Joe Dirt instead of Nunamaker.
[echoes]
Joe: Nunamaker! Nunamaker! That's what my sister said on the way to the Grand Canyon! My last name's Dirt, her last name's Nunamaker! That's my parents' last name!