The Best Joe's Mom Quotes

Joe: [after finally finding his parents] I - I - I don't mean to interrupt your clown pitch there, but - but how exactly do you not go right back to the place where you saw me?
[the news crew goes baffled]
Joe's: [sarcastically] Hey! How exactly is a rainbow made? How exactly does a sun set? How exactly does a posi-trac rear-end on a Plymouth work? It just does.
[guffaws]
Joe's: It just does.
Joe: [sternly] I'm not talking about a posi-trac; I'm talking about me. How long did you look for me before you gave up? How lone were you riding in that car before you realized I wasn't in it? Exactly how long?
[a few seconds of silence]
Joe's: All right! We didn't lose him; we just left him. So what? The dude's doing fine! Look at him!
[guffaws again]
Joe's: He look good.

Joe: [tearfully] Why did you do that to me? I was only eight years old - I was just a little kid. Do you have any idea what it's like to be a kid and have nobody around to talk to? No one that cares if you're alive or dead? Every day you just think you're worthless and there's a void in your life?
Joe's: [chuckles] Oh, come on, honey.
Joe's: Lighten up, buddy.
[Joe goes real upset]
Joe's: [takes a clown figurine] Lose that frown. When you're down, stare at a clown.
[Joe stands up and takes it]
Joe's: That's right, boy.
Joe's: [hits him] Hey, sit down! Sit down! You're blocking the cameras! The cameras can't see!
Joe's: Move over a bit!
Joe: [angrily breaks the clown to the wall] I don't care about that! AND I DON'T CARE ABOUT THIS!
Joe's: Hey! What the hell are you doing?
[Joe walks up and kicks down a shelf of clowns destroying them all]
Joe: [leaves in tears] And I don't want to see you for another 25 years!
Reporter: [leaves with the crew] Joe, wait!
Joe's: My God! Oh, my clowns! Look at my clowns! I wish he never found us! Look what he did to my children! Oh, no! Hey! Hey, TV people! Hey, TV people!
Joe's: Hey, you're grounded! Where are you all going? Hey, come on! You don't have to follow him just because he's going!