The Best Clark Quotes

Jim: The Annex it is. I'll be sitting at your desk, if that's Ok with you
Clark: Its fine with me. But be careful. It is very easy to get lost in Pete's beautiful, dead eyes.

Clark: Wait. Wait, hold on. Where's the band? 'Cause there's no way you guys are making this magic with just your mouths.
Creed: That's what she said.

Clark: Women reach their sexual peak at whatever age Jan was last week. I mean it was... like making love with a wild animal. But not like a cougar like you might think. It was, uh, like a swarm of bees. Bees that just find something wrong with every hotel room.

Clark: Dude, we're being conned.
Dwight: Go on.
Clark: These chicks are way too hot to be into us. Esther's just pretending to like you so that you'll buy her daddy a new tractor.
Dwight: No.
Clark: Yes. Her sister's trying to seduce me into buying an auger with her.
Dwight: What? Has the warranty expired on the auger you have now?

Dwight: Oh, hey, Jim, I forgot to mention. Oftentimes, in Hollywood portrayals of bachelor parties, there are accidental murders. That won't be necessary tonight.
Clark: Great, now we got three hours to fill.

Clark: We can't just leave him bubble-wrapped like this.
Dwight: Are you kidding me? The bubble wrap is the only thing that's stopping his suit from getting wrinkled. These meetings are all about presentation.
Clark: That's actually really smart.
Dwight: Thank you.
Clark: God, if only there was any other use or situation for that kind of knowledge.

Dwight: Maybe you're right. Esther is a 10, and the best I've ever done is Angela, who's a 9, and she rejected me.
Clark: A Scranton 9, but, you know, point taken. Hey, let's go out tonight and just score a couple of 4s, huh? I mean, there are no games with 4s.

Clark: God knows, to get the Scranton White Pages with Jan, I went above and beyond... and under.

Clark: Congrats, Dwight.
- Get out of Jim's seat.
- But I fought for this seat.
- You're an annex kid.
- You might be bullpen. We'll see. Give it a couple years.
- Scram.