The Best DS Toolan Quotes

[DS Toolan has discovered the body of a clown wearing a red nose, a red wig and white make-up]
Insp: Who the hell is that?
DS: [reading the clown's badge] That's Charlie the Chuckling Clown.
Insp: Well he ain't got much to laugh at now, has he?
[later, at the police station]
Supt: Who would kill a clown?
Insp: Oh, I dunno. Punch and Judy, maybe?

[last lines]
DS: I had no option but to let him go, Jack, believe me.
Insp: No, I know; neither did I. But he has forgotten one or two little things.
DS: Hm?
Insp: Well... coroner's inquiry, they'll tear him apart, won't they. Limb from limb.
DS: Who?
Insp: Well, the press; who else? And even if they don't, they will after they receive a copy of this.
James: [on recorder] No witnesses. The perfect confessional.
Insp: Sent anonymously, of course.

DS: You're cutting things a bit fine, Jack.
Insp: You can say that again.
[finds recorder]
Insp: Ah. You scared?
DS: Me? No.
Insp: I'm glad someone isn't.

Mr: [as Toolan starts to pay him] Mr Frost usually makes it sixty.
DS: No, Mr Frost usually claims for sixty; Mr Frost usually gives you forty.

Supt. Mullett: [Slightly inebriated] Look, Jack, we've had our differences... of course, we have. You're a street cop. I'm one of those boring old farts who thinks about nothing but keeping the books straight. No, no, no need to deny it. I know what you chaps think of me, and to some extent, it's true. I've spent more time in college than I have on the street, and I'm...
DS: [Handing him a vodka and tonic] Sir!
Supt. Mullett: ...and I'll have to admit that when it comes to the practical side of policing, sometimes I'm out of my depth. Will you take my point, Jack?
DI: [Humoring him] Yes, yes, I do... absolutely, sir.

[first lines]
DS: [on mobile] OK, panic over. He's here.
Officer: Morning, Sir.
Insp: Good morning.
DS: Morning, Jack.
Insp: Morning, George. What've we got?
DS: Mass grave.
Insp: How many?
DS: Three. So far, anyway.
Insp: Three! It's hardly a *mass* grave then, is it?
DS: How many do you want?