The Best Earl Grey Quotes

Chad: It's just blowin' my mind, man! I can't believe my best friend Boone is dead.
Earl: You know, I heard the coroner calling Boone's death a suicide. It's a bloody tragedy.
Chad: Yeah, well, it was really bloody. I don't know, man, it's just one of those things in life that just hits you so hard, and you think to yourself, "Wow, it's gonna be *weeks* before I really truly get over this."

[the Red Devil killer knocks Caufield off a ladder]
Earl: What do we do now?
Chad: The only thing we can do: give him the dignity of watching him die.

Earl: Look mate, there's a nasty rumor going around saying you're having sex with... the dean.
Chad: That is not a nasty rumor, that is a true rumor. I am totally porkin' Dean Munsch! The chick is smokin'!
Earl: There's also another rumor saying that you slept with one of the security guards.
Chad: Denise Hemphill. Um, yeah! I mean, she is fun! I'm not kidding, I mean, that girl knows what she is doing!