The Best Emily Waltham Quotes

Emily: There's someone else.
Ross: Does that mean the same thing in England as it does in America?

Emily: No, no, no, that's not rude. It's in keeping with a trip where I've already been run down by one of your wiener carts and been strip-searched at John F. Kennedy Airport. Apparently, I look like someone who's got a balloon full of cocaine stuffed up their bum.

Emily: Ross, I'm having a great time. Your sister was just telling me that you used to dress up like little old ladies and host make-believe tea parties!
Ross: Did she tell you how she was partially responsible for legislation regulating the strength of swing sets?

Emily: Ross. Come look. There's a deer just outside eating fruit from the orchard.
Ross: [on the phone] I gotta go. There's a deer just outside eating fruit from the orchard.
Monica: He had to go. There was a deer just outside, eating fruit from the orchard.

Emily: And that was all before ten o'clock! The caterer rang to say it's going to be Chicken Kiev instead of Chicken Tarragon! And then the florist phoned to say there aren't any tulips! Oh, and then the cellist has Carpal Tunnel Syndrome! We're not going to...
Ross: Whoa, whoa, whoa, Emily, honey...
[he makes a "time out" hand sign]
Ross: Okay?
Emily: Well, up yours, too!
Ross: What?
Emily: Oh. That's not what it means?