The Best Jack Quotes

Jack: Those assholes got balls.
Red: That i'm gonna put them in my mouth and chew on!
Jack: You're gonna put what in your mouth?

Jack: You're gonna pay a disobedience fee of $10,000! Plus another $40,000 to rebuild the bar! And if you wanna see your friend alive again, do not call the cops! If you're not here in half an hour to settle this, I'm gonna take the fine out on your friend's legs! I'm gonna break 'em with this tire iron!
Dudley: Don't bring the money! I'm a computer programmer! I don't need my legs!
Jack: Fine! I'll break his hands!
Dudley: Oh, damn it. Bring the money!

Jack: I knew you assholes the minute I laid eyes on you! Look at the four of you!
Doug: You don't know us.
Jack: [to Doug] You think I don't know you? You're probably a... podiatrist or an ear-, nose-, and throat-specialist.
Doug: I wish.
Jack: An orthadontist?
Bobby: Close enough.
Jack: [turns to Bobby] Bobby, guarantee you're hen-pecked! The wife wears the pants!
Bobby: You know my wife?
Jack: [to Dudley] And you, no luck with women. I guarantee you bag your own shit.
Dudley: Wow, you're good. What color am I thinking of?
Jack: Shut up!
[turns to Woody]
Jack: And you, you're the biggest poser of them all... aren't ya, Squinty! Go home!