The Best Janice Quotes

Chandler: I just don't think things are gonna work out.
Janice: That's fine.
Chandler: It is?
Janice: Mmm-hmm. Because I know that this isn't the end.
Chandler: Oh no, you see, actually it is.
Janice: No, it isn't, because you won't let that happen. Don't you know it yet? You love me, Chandler Bing.
Chandler: [stunned] Oh, no I don't.
Janice: Well, then ask yourself this. Why do you think we keep ending up together? New Year's? Who invited who? Valentine's? Who asked who into whose bed?
Chandler: I did, but...
Janice: You seek me out. Something deep in your soul calls out to me like a foghorn.
[Imitates: ]
Janice: Ja-nice, Ja-nice. You want me. You need me. You can't live without me. And you know it. You just don't KNOW you know it.
[she kisses him passionately, then leaves]
Janice: See ya.
Chandler: [still in a daze] Call me!

Janice: This is my husband Sid. I don't think you've met him. I nabbed him at the dermatologist's. Thank God for adult acne!
Sid: I can't believe it. I'm the luckiest guy in the world.
Dr. Ross Geller: Really?
Sid: What did he say?
Janice: You have to speak loudly - he's almost completely deaf.
Dr. Ross Geller: Oh, there you go.

Janice: [Janice walks downstairs and finds Monica and Chandler looking at her house] What a small world!
Chandler: ...And yet, I never run into Beyonce.

Janice: [being wheeled to the delivery room] Sid!
Sid: [Sid's almost deaf] That's the first time I heard her voice... I didn't care for it.

Janice: [sees Monica's engagement ring] What's that on your finger? I'm blind!

Janice: Well, I just talked to Sid, we are definitely putting in an offer on the house. A-a-and I'll bet we get it.
Chandler: The Hitlers will be so disappointed.
Janice: All right, I got to run. Tell Monica I say goodbye. And, I'll see you later, neighbor.
Chandler: Wait! I just want you to know that... I'm so happy you're going to be here.
Janice: Oh, me too.
Chandler: Because... that way... we can pick up where we left off.
Janice: Huh?
Chandler: I never stopped loving you.
Janice: Oh... my.
Chandler: Yeah, yeah, yeah! I want you... I need you... I must have you Janice Litman Goralnik Neihosenstein.
Janice: Chandler, what are you talking about?
Chandler: Now that you live next door, we can be together every day. Sid and Monica never have to know a thing.
Janice: I don't know what to say... I mean, you know, obviously we have this... heat between us.
Chandler: [stunned] Obviously.
Janice: But I love my husband. And I know you love your wife. Now, I don't think we should get this house now.
Chandler: Don't say that. Don't tangle the dream and take it away.
Janice: Chandler, one of us has got to be strong.
Chandler: I understand.
Janice: Although, maybe just... one last moment of weakness.
Janice: [she kisses Chandler, while he squirms] Goodbye Chandler Bing.
Chandler: [Speaking as in pain] They're never coming down now.

Janice: [she's having contractions] Oh, I feel another one coming.
Dr. Ross Geller: [Janice is screaming, which drives Ross and Rachel crazy, but her husband Sid can barely hear her because he's almost deaf] Sid, you lucky damn bastard.

Janice: I'm riding the alimony pony!
[braying laugh]
Joey: [aside] And there it is...

Janice: Janice has a question: Who of the six of you has slept with who of the six of you?
Phoebe: Its like a dirty math problem.
Dr. Ross Geller: The answer would be none of us.
Janice: None of you have gotten drunk and stupid over the years?
Joey: Well, that's a different question.
Janice: I find it hard to believe a group of people who spend as much time together as you do has never bumped uglies. I've got another question: Who of the six of you has almost?
Rachel: [they all quickly get up] Can I get anyone more coffee?
Joey: Hey, there's a dog out there!

Janice: Oh, well then, shut me up.
Rachel: [Rachel smiles] Just tell me how.

Chandler: [Chandler is waiting for his cyberchick to arrive] Where is she, where is she?
[grabs Rachel]
Chandler: Oh, hey, I have a question, where is she?
Rachel: Chandler, relax, Chandler, she'll be here.
[Chandler then sits down]
Chandler: [gets up after noticing a beautiful blonde walking in] Oh, oh, oh, that's her.
Dr. Ross Geller: [after seeing her] Yeah, 'cause life's just that kind.
Phoebe: Chandler, you gotta stop staring at the door. It's like a watched pot, you know if you keep looking at it then the door is never gonna boil. I think what you have to do is try not to...
Chandler: [Chandler gets up] Oh my God!
Janice: [pause] OH... MY... GAWD!
[Chandler rushes over and kisses her]
Rachel: OH... MY... GOD!

Janice: Chandler?
Chandler: [trying to be aloof] Hello Janice
Janice: What are you doing here?
Chandler: Shopping, how have you been?
Janice: Are you being British?
Chandler: No, not anymore
Janice: You don't live in the neighborhood, were you waiting for me?
Chandler: Ya huh I'm just picking up some things for a party
Janice: Barleyi? What kind of a party serves barley?
Chandler: Sorry if my friends aren't as sophisticated as yours
Janice: Where is this party?
Chandler: Right here in Chelsea?
Janice: Who's it for?
Chandler: A woman
Janice: A woman? What's this woman's name?
Chandler: Chelsea?
Janice: One of two things is happening here, either you're seeing another woman which would make you the biggest jerk on the planet or you're pretending to be seeing a woman which is so pathetic it makes me want to cry here in the cereal aisle, which of these guys do you want to be?
[A man walks past]
Chandler: Can I be that guy?

Janice: So, I hear you hate me.
Joey: I didn't said "hate", I was really careful about that.
Janice: A little birdy said something about ripping your arm off and throwing it at me.
Joey: You got "hate" from that?

Janice: [repeated line throughout the series] Oh... my... God!

Janice: [pointedly, after breaking up with Ross] Oh, hi. I guess that's two out of three... Joey.