20 Best Jesse St. James Quotes

Finn: Hey, Jesse! What did you order? Scrambled eggs? I mean, I know you usually like them served on people's heads.
Jesse St. James: Quinn, you look stunning. The ghost of Grace Kelly. Let me know if you get tired of your boyfriend stomping on your pretty little feet all night. I'd me more than happy to cut in.

Rachel: Are you still mad at me?
Jesse St. James: You know, before I transferred here to make you my girlfriend, I asked around about you, found out your rep; what kind of girl you were.
Rachel: What did they say?
Jesse St. James: Most of them had no idea who you were. The ones that did said you were kind of sneaky hot, but that that quality was canceled out by a compulsive need to be right and a strange affinity for sweaters with animals on them. The most interesting part was that, even though no one particularly liked you, they all said you were a person who could be trusted.
Rachel: I still am. I have this pathological need to be popular, okay? I... I just want people to think I'm cool so bad sometimes that it just clouds my judgment, okay? As a fellow star in the making, I'm... I'm sure you can understand that.
Jesse St. James: On that level, sure. But as the guy who gave up everything to be your one and only, I just can't see past this. I should have been enough for you, Rachel.
Rachel: I knew you'd break my heart.
Jesse St. James: Well, that's the funny thing about reputations. Everyone thinks I'm the big heartbreaker, but the fact of the matter is you broke mine first. Do me a favor. If we end up next to each other on the bar at Ballet Club this week, just do your arabesques and piqués in silence. Don't talk to me.

Jesse St. James: What were you just rehearsing?
Rachel: A guy came to Glee Club to talk to us about dreams. Luckily, I've known mine since I was four. I'm going to play three roles on Broadway: Evita, Funny Girl, and Laurey in "Oklahoma!". I was just practicing her dream ballet with Curly. It's what I do when I'm feeling a little stressed.

Rachel: [finding Vocal Adrenaline in their auditorium] Jesse? What are you doing up there with them?
Jesse St. James: I've transferred back to Carmel High, Rachel. I'm sorry that it's come to this, but you guys were awful to me. You never accepted me, you never listened to my clearly superior ideas.
Finn: Why are you here in our auditorium?
Jesse St. James: The blogs and chat rooms say that we're finished, and that you guys are ripe to topple us. We just wanted to show you a little something that we came up with a few days ago to see if you agree with that assessment.
[they perform a rendition of "Another One Bites the Dust"]
Giselle: Thanks for letting us borrow your auditorium, guys. It's quaint.

[first lines]
Finn: What's so funny?
Rachel: You guys aren't watching the video of me falling off stage at my first TinyTots beauty pageant, are you?
Kurt: That was Carrot Top funny compared to this comedic tour de force.
Jesse St. James: That's Olivia Newton-John's "Physical". It was pretty groundbreaking subject matter at the time, considering its depiction of fluid sexuality.

Jesse St. James: What's this? "From Mother to Daughter."
Rachel: Oh, my god. She wrote this. She held this in her hand.
[he takes the cassette]
Rachel: Wh... what are you doing?
Jesse St. James: Playing the tape.
Rachel: No!
Jesse St. James: Why not? She wanted you to hear this.
Rachel: [stammering] I... I... I'm not ready. Look, this is all happening too fast. What if she's singing on the tape? What if she's terrible? Or worse, what if she's better than me?

Jesse St. James: [flashback, making out with Rachel] We should do it.
Rachel: It?
Jesse St. James: Totally. Haven't you ever done it before?
Rachel: No. Have you?
Jesse St. James: [chuckles] What do you think? It's no big deal.
Rachel: It is for a girl!

Jesse St. James: What took you so long? Your dads will be home soon.
Rachel: There was so much stuff in the basement, it's like a shrine. It's creepy and flattering at the same time.

Rachel: I don't understand why you're doing this.
Jesse St. James: Because when you love something, you've got to go for it. You'd never be with me completely if I was on the opposing team and I care about you more than winning another national title. So I left Vocal Adrenaline for you.

Rachel: If you're gonna criticize and mock me again about Jesse, you can can it.
Finn: I wanted to apologize. The only reason you were even open to dating Jesse was because I was such an ass. Mr. Tough Guy and all that. I really liked you. And I could have had you, but I blew it.
Rachel: [touched] You really liked me?
Jesse St. James: [entering] Okay, Finn. I know we have a big showdown coming, so let's just decide on the arena. Sing-off, the parking lot, 5:00. Be there.
Rachel: [worried] No.
Finn: [offering a handshake] Welcome to New Directions. Frankly, I need you. I'm tired of carrying the male vocals all by myself.
[he and Jesse shake hands]
Finn: I'll do my best to stay away from your girl.
Jesse St. James: I appreciate that. She's a keeper.

Jesse St. James: Most spots are 2,500 watts. This one is ten times brighter. We have to wear sunscreen onstage, but it's worth it.
Rachel: I guess everything is bigger and brighter here.

Jesse St. James: A dream is something that fills up the emptiness inside. The one thing that, you know if it came true, all of the hurt would go away.

Santana: He's a spy, Mr. Schuester. I would know.
Will: Whoa, whoa, whoa, guys. I saw all the paperwork, I spoke with his parents.
Jesse St. James: They winter in Bali. It's a very expensive phone call.
Will: Jesse just moved in with his uncle, which is in our school district. It's all above board, guys. He goes to this school now.
Artie: But this isn't fair.
Will: Guys! Everyone who's ever auditioned for this group has gotten in. That's how we do things here. Okay? To suddenly change the rules now, that would be unfair.

Giselle: [egging Rachel] I hear you're a vegan, Berry. The souls of those poor egg fetuses are all on your conscience now.
[the group laughs]
Giselle: Do it, Jesse. Are you with us or not?
Rachel: [he approaches her with egg in hand] Do it. Break it like you broke my heart.
Jesse St. James: I loved you.
[he reluctantly cracks the egg on her]

Rachel: [wanting to believe her mother is Patti LuPone] All you have to do is look at pictures of her in her performance in "Master Class" in 1996. Look at the pain in her eyes and the hurt she's feeling for giving up her obviously talented little girl.
Jesse St. James: One question. What was in it for her?
Rachel: Money, a sense of charity for those in need?
[deflating as she sees his skepticism]
Rachel: I don't know. Guess you're right. Do you want to hear my research that proves that my mother is Bernadette Peters?

Will: Between this and posting Coach Sylvester's personal video on YouTube, you guys are getting a pretty bad reputation.
Artie: Why is that a bad thing? Maybe if we seem more dangerous, people would stop flushing my glasses down the toilet.
Will: [passing out sheet music] Look, things are hard right now. I get it. You're under a lot of pressure with regionals coming up. And I know that winning sectionals hasn't had the positive effect on your popularity that a lot of you thought it would. But becoming what you despise is not the answer.
Mercedes: Man, this song is whack.
Will: No, it's not. It's a terrific song on a long list of top hits that, because of time or some bad press, has become a joke. And like you guys, it's time to start rehabilitating its bad reputation. The assignment for the week is for all of you to find songs like this, mine them for what works, and make them great again. And then, hopefully, can apply this musical lesson to your own lives.
Jesse St. James: This song should be arrested for the crime of sucking.
Will: [the students all agree] You want to bet?
[to the backing band]
Will: Hit it.
[the beginning of "Ice Ice Baby" plays]

Rachel: I found her.
Jesse St. James: Your mother? Where?
Rachel: In the library. I've been researching her all morning, and as I suspected, my intuition has been proven correct. My mother is Broadway legend Patti LuPone.
[flashback, with Rachel narrating in voiceover]
Rachel: I've always had a deep connection to Ms. LuPone; her choice of roles and songs. I decided to do a little math to see if her being my mother was even possible. I was born December 18, 1994. 1994 was a big year for Mother. She was a sensation in "Pal Joey". "But that was in New York; I was born in Ohio," you say. Well, Mother took many breaks from the show to tour with Mandy Patinkin. That April found them at the EJ Thomas Hall in Akron, Ohio for a standing room performance nine months before I was born.
[return to real time]
Jesse St. James: Are you saying that your fathers impregnated Patti LuPone in the Marriott in Akron? Was Mandy Patinkin in on this?

Jesse St. James: You singing "Don't Cry for Me, Argentina" in front of a sold-out crowd isn't a fantasy. It's an inevitability.
Rachel: [holding him] I thought you'd never come back.
Jesse St. James: And miss all your drama? Never.

Jesse St. James: [to Rachel] That's sweet, you remembered the masculine click of my designer boots.

Jesse St. James: You guys need to stop being such asses and start being badasses.