20 Best Joe Manganiello Quotes

Alcide: What time you wanna head back to Bon Temps? Since you're not looking for that asshole anymore.
Sookie: Oh, I still plan on finding him.
Alcide: Okay, doormat.
Sookie: I'm *not* a doormat. I just want him to say it to my face.
Alcide: What, he didn't hurt you enough?
Sookie: I think he's in trouble. Maybe I'm wrong, but if he can look me in the eye and tell me it's over, then I'll leave him here to rot.
Alcide: You looking for closure? Just let it go, move on.
Sookie: Says the man cooking breakfast in a wok because he's too sad to buy a new frying pan.

[Brooke and Peyton go on a double date with Chase and Owen. Owen doesn't know Chase and Brooke's past]
Brooke: Awkward.
[Peyton and Chase laugh]
Owen: What?
Brooke: Nothing.
Owen: Okay, does somebody want to tell me what's going on?
[Peyton laughs]
Chase: Hey bud, uh, you, you remember that girl I used to tell you about, back when we first moved in together?
Owen: Yeah, the one you constantly talked about?
Chase: Not constantly, but yeah.
Owen: What? The fake virgin chick you lost your virginity to?
Brooke: [Whispers to Peyton] Chick?
Chase: Yeah.
Owen: What about her?
Chase: Do you remember her name?
Owen: [Looks around and thinks. Then looks at Brooke] Come on!
[Peyton and Chase start smiling]

Deathstroke: [Joker cackling in the background] Still think it was a good idea bringing him along?
Batman: What do you think?

Sookie: [sobbing] What does he mean he doesn't want to be found?
Alcide: Um, I think it means he doesn't want to see you anymore.
Sookie: That's not what he said.
Alcide: Well, what do you think he said?
Sookie: I don't know what he said. I just know that isn't the man I love!
Alcide: Well, the man you loved never even existed except in your head.
Sookie: Is that supposed to be making me feel better?
Alcide: I don't know but no matter how well you think you know somebody, they can still turn around and kick you!

Sookie: [crying about Bill] He risked everything for me. This is way bigger than him breaking up with me.
Alcide: How many relationships you been in?
Sookie: What does that matter?
Alcide: All I'm sayin' is there's no nice way of getting outta these things.

Brad: I got fired from Bed, Bath, and Beyond for telling inappropriate jokes. I mean, get a sense of humor, LaShawda. You know how they are.
Marshall: "They" meaning Bed, Bath, and Beyond employees, right?
Brad: Nah. Women.
Marshall: That still could've been worse.

Owen: Something on your mind?
Brooke: No, but my mom is on my last nerve, have you got anything for that?
Owen: Yeah. Alcohol.

Brad: [At Marshall's law party] Yo, what's up, ladies? Welcome to the party. Yeah! Just need you to sign this release protecting the host from any and all responsibility should you harm yourself or a third party. Then freakin' rage! Yeah!

Wil: You come face to face with a massive monster with a gaping maw full of teeth, three huge legs, and flailing tentacles. What do you do?
William: Fellas, it looks like we're facing a, an otyugh. Here's the plan...
Kareem: Hold on there, Bill.
William: Now what, Kareem?
Kareem: How do we know it's not a neo-otyugh?
William: Same way I know the difference between an owlbear and a bugbear. Does that answer your question?
Kareem: No.
Joe: Look, there's only one way to settle this. We chop it up and look at the pieces.
Kevin: Oh, come on. Why do you always gotta attack everything? Why can't we just try talking to it?
Joe: Big surprise, Podcast here wants to talk.
Kareem: What do you think, Leonard?
Leonard: I think this is the greatest day of my entire life.
William: It's all right, buddy. One day, you'll meet a girl.

Brainy: We don't know how long we could be down here, so whatever you do, don't eat all your rations.
Clumsy: I just ate all my rations!
Hefty: What... Why would you do that?
Clumsy: I'm stress eating!

Alcide: No matter how well you think you know somebody, they can just turn around and kick you right in the nutsack.
Sookie: I don't have a nutsack.

Flash: Think you're pretty funny, don't you, freak?
Mary: Flash, it was just an accident!
Flash: My fist breaking your teeth, that's the accident.
Mary: C'mon, Flash, stop!
Peter: I don't want to fight you, Flash.
Flash: I wouldn't want to fight me, neither.

Alcide: This is Were business. It's against all our laws to tell you anything.
Sookie: I've been listening to dark, private thoughts since I was a little girl. Keeping secrets is how I survive, Alcide.

Sookie: What happened back there? Why were they all shifting? You almost shifted!
Alcide: [Driving erratically] Couldn't help it. When that energy starts rolling, it takes you over. We're lucky we got out of there alive. fuck!
Sookie: I know it was terrible...
Alcide: You don't know anything.
Sookie: If you don't slow down, you're gonna kill us. And I am not gonna die because of your shitty girlfriend and a Mississippi pothole!
[Alcide slows]

Brad: Ladies and... ladies of the jury. Sorry if I seem down, my girlfriend Kara, broke up with me last night.
[female jurors sigh]

Sookie: [leaning into him] Oh my god. You're so warm.
Alcide: Sorry.
Sookie: It's okay. I'm just not used to it.
Alcide: It's a Were thing. We run hot.
Sookie: I thought you were comin' down with the flu.
Alcide: ...You probably want some privacy.
Sookie: That's the last thing I want.

Brooke: [to Owen] You know, not many people can handle a 'Brooke Davis'.
Owen: Well, it's definitely one of a kind.

Owen: [to Millicent, commenting her look] You're the prettiest girl in the room.
Brooke: [to Millicent] Did you hear that, Milli? You're the second prettiest girl in the room!

Owen: [to Brooke, after seeing her mother] I feel like I'm looking into the future here.
[pauses]
Owen: It's a rough ride ahead, by the way.
Brooke: OK! We're not talking anymore.
Victoria: [pointing her glass] Owen!
Owen: [to Brooke] Well, looks like you future self's calling. What you'd like to drink in 20 years?
Brooke: Poison.

Debbie: You thought this knight-on-a-white-horse shit would work? With me?
Alcide: What have you done to yourself?
Debbie: I finally got free of you. And I never been happier in my life.
Alcide: I still care about you. You go through with this, the pack will never let you back in.
Debbie: I don't need your pussy pack. And I was fucking Coot when I was still with you.
Alcide: This isn't about us.
Debbie: Like hell. You came here and brought this skank just to make me jealous.
Sookie: Skank? Well, coming from you, that's just funny.