The Best John Cavil Quotes

Brother: Would you mind telling me what's going on? I'm not a fracking Cylon, I'm n -
[sees another copy of his model and pauses]
Brother: Oh. Well. Okay then.

Brother: We have a stand-off, very predictable. They have the Eye and they'll nuke it if we try to take it, and we'll shoot them down if they try bringing it up to Galactica.
Leoben: Are we sure that they have it? How do we know they're not bluffing?
Dr. Gaius Baltar: You don't.
D'Anna: We Threes feel that we can't afford to take the chance.
Brother: I think we're missing the big picture here. We have the oppotunity to rid the universe of the human pestilence, once and for all.
Number: We can discuss that after we get the Eye of Jupiter, after we find the path to Earth.
Brother: Let me point out that it doesn't matter if we find Earth in five days, or if we find Earth in five thousand years. We're machines. We'll still be around to savor the great miracle. So let them destroy the Eye, if indeed they have it. We have to take advantage of the situation and take down Galactica once and for all... or we could stand here and do nothing.

Admiral: What's your offer?
D'Anna: You give us the Eye of Jupiter. We let you go.
Brother: And... we'll throw in Baltar.
Dr. Gaius Baltar: [to Cavil] What are you talking about now?
[to D'Anna]
Dr. Gaius Baltar: What's he saying?
D'Anna: [to Cavil] Indeed?
Brother: I am improvising. Throw in something to sweeten the pot. Besides, I suspect the Admiral and Madam President would enjoy some nice, quiet private time with the former leader. Am I right?
Colonel: Worth thinking about.
Admiral: Definately worth thinking about.

Brother: Take me to your leader.

Brother: In all your travels, have you ever seen a star go supernova?
Ellen: No.
Brother: No? Well, I have. I saw a star explode and send out the building blocks of the Universe. Other stars, other planets and eventually other life. A supernova! Creation itself! I was there. I wanted to see it and be part of the moment. And you know how I perceived one of the most glorious events in the universe? With these ridiculous gelatinous orbs in my skull! With eyes designed to perceive only a tiny fraction of the EM spectrum. With ears designed only to hear vibrations in the air.
Ellen: The five of us designed you to be as human as possible.
Brother: I don't want to be human! I want to see gamma rays! I want to hear X-rays! And I want to - I want to smell dark matter! Do you see the absurdity of what I am? I can't even express these things properly because I have to - I have to conceptualize complex ideas in this stupid limiting spoken language! But I know I want to reach out with something other than these prehensile paws! And feel the wind of a supernova flowing over me! I'm a machine! And I can know much more! I can experience so much more. But I'm trapped in this absurd body! And why? Because my five creators thought that God wanted it that way!

Chief: But how do you know I'm human?
Brother: Oh, maybe because I'm a cylon and I've never seen you at any of the meetings.

Brother: [to the humanoid Cylons] You're all living in a fantasy world. Consider the irony in that.
[laughs]
Brother: Delusional machines! What's the universe gonna come up with next?

Brother: [while the Final Five make preparations to download knowledge of Resurrection Technology to the Cylon Colony] Not to rush you or anything, but you are keeping two entire civilizations waiting!

John: I don't want to be human! I want to see Gamma Rays, I want to hear X-Rays, and I want to smell Dark Matter! Do you see the absurdity of what I am?

Brother: Supernatural divinities are the primitive's answer for why the sun goes down at night.

[At the end of a long argument about what's to be done given the Hybrid's words and the Raiders refusal to fight]
Number: You don't have the authority to make any change without a majority vote.
Brother: Well, we'll vote. The Fours and Fives will be on my side.
Number: There will be a vote. The Raiders hear what we hear.
Brother: The Raiders are simple machines.
Number: No. Something extraordinary has happened. Something is calling to us. Pushing us to discover our origins, to understand our place in the universe. The Raiders are part of that, and the Final Five...
Brother: [interrupting and getting in the last word] Are anywhere but with the humans.
[cut to a meeting of four of the Five aboard Galactica]

Brother: [counseling Tyrol] Been having any recurring dreams lately?
Chief: No.
Brother: OK, that's what we in the pray trade call a lie.

Brother: Well, this is an embarrassing moment. Yes, he's right. I'm a Cylon. And I have a message. So, take me to your leader.
Admiral: Take him to the brig.

Dr. Gaius Baltar: You don't need my signature.
D'Anna: Well, actually we do. We're here as allies and friends of the legitimate government of the colonies. You are the president so everything we do requires your signature.
Brother: In other words, they are worried about what God might think if they commit murder. They are covering their existential asses!

John: [observing Hera's drawings] Dots. Lots and lots and lots of dots. She's clearly very gifted.

Brother: [holding Hera at gunpoint after overpowering a CIC guard] This makes it a lot easier. I just take the girl and I'm out of here!
Admiral: [with a gun trained on Cavil] Not a chance!
Number: Cavil, we won't let you take Hera. You know that.
Brother: I know nothing of the kind. I know I'm going to watch you chase your tail across the universe for another four years.
Colonel: That's not going to happen!
Brother: This thing is the key to my people's survival, and I'm not leaving without it!
Doctor: Hera's not a thing! She's a child, and she holds the key to humanity's survival as well!
Brother: And how do you know that?
Doctor: [glances briefly at Head-Six and Head-Baltar] I see angels, angels in this very room. Now, I may be mad, but that doesn't mean that I'm not right. Because there's another force at work here. There always has been. It's undeniable. We've all experienced it. Everyone in this room has witnessed events that they can't fathom, let alone explain by rational means. Puzzles deciphered in prophecy. Dreams given to a chosen few. Our loved ones, dead, risen. Whether we want to call that "God" or "gods" or some sublime inspiration or a divine force we can't know or understand, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. It's here. It exists, and our two destinies are entwined in its force.
Brother: If that were true, and that's a big "if", how do I know this force has our best interests in mind? How do you know that God is on your side, Doctor?
Doctor: I don't. God's not on anyone side. God is a force of nature, beyond good and evil. Good and evil, we created those. You wanna break the cycle? Break the cycle of birth? Death? Rebirth? Destruction? Escape? Death? Well, that's in our hands, in our hands only. It requires that we live in hope, not fear.

Brother: [last words before killing himself] Frak!

The: [montage of cross-fading images of various Cylon models listening to the Hybrid as she speaks] The excited state decays by vibrational relaxation into the first excited singlet state. Yes, yes, and merrily we go. Reduce atmospheric nitrogen by 0.03%. It is not much consolation that society will pick up the bits. Leaving us at eight modern, where punishment rather than interdiction is paramount. Please cut the fuse. They will not harm their own. End of line. Limiting diffusions to two dimensions increases the number of evolutionary jumps within the species. Rise and measure the Temple of the Five. Transformation is the goal. They will not harm their own.
[fade: a One, a Two, a Six and an Eight]
The: Data-font synchronization complete.
Number: The Hybrid is clearly telling us something.
Brother: [seated authoritatively behind a desk] The Hybrid is always telling us something. They are supposed to maintain operations on each ship, not vomit metaphysics.
[looks for support from the others with no avail]
Brother: All right. I give up. What? What is she trying to tell us?
Lt. Sharon 'Athena' Agathon: They're in the Colonial Fleet with the humans.
Brother: They? They who?
Leoben: The Final Five.
[Cavil turns and looks hostilely]
Number: The Raiders refused to fight because they sensed the Final Five might be in the Colonial Fleet.
Leoben: They could have been caught. They could be in hiding.
Brother: No, wait, stop. Stop right now. Turn around. Go and take a cleansing walk. And I'm gonna try and forget what I just heard.
Number: The Final Five, Cavil, they are near! This is far too important.
Leoben: What their eyes must have seen, witnessed over time.
Lt. Sharon 'Athena' Agathon: Do they look anything like us?
Brother: [adamantly] That's enough! Don't you realize what you're doing? You're openly discussing the Final Five.
[pauses to look for chastisement in the others' faces and finding none, explodes]
Brother: THAT'S FORBIDDEN!
[pauses for effect and continues]
Brother: You're toying with our survival. Look at yourselves. Look, there's millions of Twos who have that nose. Millions of Sixes possess that mouth. Eights share those breasts and Ones have this brain. We're mechanized copies. There's a reason the original programmers clearly felt that it's a mistake for us to contact the Final Five!
Number: No.
Brother: [continuing despite the Six's protest] Violating that programming threatens our survival!
Number: Something has changed.
Brother: Thoughts have changed. Yes, they change. The Raiders changed. That's where all this started, with them. Somehow they exceeded their programming, and unlike us, they can't correct themselves. So we're gonna have to do it for them.
Number: [incredulously] Do what?
Brother: We'll reconfigure their neural architecture, and shave down their heuristic responses.
Leoben: Dumb them down? Lobotomize them?
Brother: They're tools, not pets. But in any case, it has to be done.
Number: Says who?
Brother: Says God almighty, the voice of reason, that's who! When are you gonna hear it?
Number: You don't have the authority to make any change without a majority vote.
Brother: Well, we'll vote. The Fours and Fives will be on my side.