The Best Kristin Sims Quotes

Mike: Okay! But anything that might be worth killing him over?
Kristin: Ah, yeah, well, Vince had a side project going - Gjallahorn - which he wanted to be the loudest band ever. So is that worth killing for? Apart from trying to prevent it from ever happening, obviously.

Ralph: I can see you as a marvelous Lavinia in "Titus Andronicus".
Kristin: That's a kind offer. Would you excuse us?
[she leaves the room with Mike]
Kristin: Would you think any less of me if I vomited on your shoes?
Mike: I can get a bucket.
Kristin: That man is the kind that gives Shakespeare such a bad name!
Mike: I couldn't possibly comment.
Kristin: For the record, Lavinia gets her hands chopped off and her tongue cut out.
Mike: Shakespeare, eh?
Kristin: Yeah, bet you don't get that with Patsy Cline.

Slim: [takes a sip of coffee] Oh, okay, that tastes weird.
Kristin: Well, you did ask for five sugars.

D.C. Sam Breen: Mike's got a dog? This a midlife crisis?
Kristin: It's a corgi. Hardly the sports car of the canine world.

Kristin: Gina hates me.
Mike: No, it's an act.
D.C. Sam Breen: Ahh, no it's not.

Mike: [Tasting wine from a coffee mug] Hmm. Hint of gooseberries; grapefruit; dried figs; lapsang souchong.
Kristin: You have no idea, do you.
Mike: Busted.

Kristin: [last line; commenting on Mike's car windscreen, which has been maliciously doused with thick blue paint] Looks like you hit a Smurf.

Kristin: You never saw "The Lord of the Rings"?
Mike: I've got this thing about hairy feet.
Kristin: [laughs] Is this where you tell me a story about one of your ex-wives? Sorry, I didn't mean...
Mike: I don't believe any of them had hairy feet.
Kristin: Well, good.
Mike: Do you want to change the subject?
Kristin: Uh, yes, please.

Kristin: People come here for a long time, not a good time.

Ralph: You know the bard?
Kristin: I studied him in university.
Ralph: Yes, yes, study study. But have you ever let him actually flow through you, stood on a stage and allowed yourself to be a vessel?
Kristin: You mean have I ever been in a Shakespeare play?
Ralph: Yes.
Kristin: No.

D.C. Breen: You can't call us losers just because we've never won.
Kristin: You should put that on a t-shirt.

Meredith: Infuriating though, isn't he.
Kristin: He's not conventional.
Meredith: I should know.I was married to him for five years. Has he played you country music yet?
Kristin: Oh -- well...
Meredith: Hah! I knew it. Used to drive me nuts.

Mike: Chose a nice day to go. I guess. I hear you like golf.
Crime: [to Sims] Who's he talking to?
Kristin: The deceased.
Crime: [skeptically] Okay.
Kristin: You get used to it.

Kristin: It's interesting that your mother's last words were "You bastard." It's not exactly a term of endearment, is it?
Rhys: No. No, it isn't.
Kristin: So can you understand what I'm thinking here?
Rhys: Oh, my God. Johnny's an illegitimate child?
Kristin: Clearly prison did nothing to reform Rhys' I.Q.