The Best Leota Adebayo Quotes

John: Well, she's entitled to her opinion.
Leota: Thank you.
John: Her stupid fucking opinion.

Leota: The man's been in prison for four years. There's not much I believe he wouldn't fuck. A bowl of oatmeal, grapefruit, some yougurt. I'm hungry.

Leota: Run, Adebayo would have been appreciated!
Peacemaker: Oh, really? I need to tell you to run from a fucking bomb?

Christopher: [Calling the Waitress] Hey, sweet-cheeks!
Leota: Sweet cheeks? Seriously, dude?
Christopher: She had cherubic cheeks. It's a compliment.
Christopher: Sweet cheeks is your butt.
Christopher: No, it's not.
Leota: It is. It's like calling somebody, I don't know, sugar tits.
Christopher: That's totally inappropriate. Her tits are way too big to be sugar tits. Sugar tits are, like, smaller, perkier tits. Like...
[to Agent Amelia Harcourt]
Christopher: yours. Uh, technically, I think you may have sugar tits, too... but somehow that also feels inappropriate.

Leota: You didn't think to give me some sort of signal?
Christopher: Yeah, the signal was I shot her head off.

Leota: Does this look like James Bond to you? Man, I wanted champagne in the bathtub, and some Octopussies and shit.
Keeya: Okay, girl, you better not be getting any Octopussies while we're up here. What is an Octopussy anyway?
Leota: Uh, that's who Maud Adams played in the movie.
Keeya: Okay, so she had eight pussies?
Leota: As far as I know, she only had one pussy. That's just her name.
Keeya: Okay.

Christopher: Is scissoring real? I keep getting contradictory reports.
Leota: I suspected you were a butt baby from the beginning.
Christopher: Oh, I'm all for it. One thing I'm in favor of, it's two chicks going at it.
Leota: Oh, geez.
Christopher: What? I'm a fuckin' ally.
Leota: Having a lesbian haircut doesn't make you an ally.
Christopher: You haven't seen my porn folder, 400 gigs of alliance.

Leota: ...If we have a kid, I'd like to name her Octopussy... . And if it's a boy, Sharknado.
Keeya: Oh, okay. Well, I hope then that it's a boy, because, um, I don't think my parents would be too happy with a granddaughter named Octopussy.

Leota: Although I do appreciate the confidence with which you said something so wrong.
Christopher: Oh, that's my thing. That, and having a big dick.
Leota: Yep. Information I had no need for.
Christopher: No, I'm serious. It's too big, actually. Causes people pain.
Leota: Okay.
Christopher: Kids in junior high, they called me "Chimp-Arm."
Leota: Good night, sweet-cheeks.
Christopher: "Sweet-cheeks."
[explained earlier that Sweet-cheeks refers to buttocks, that Chris didn't know then]

Leota: We don't need to know how much she enjoyed having sex with you.
Christopher: What if it's a clue?
Leota: It's not.
Christopher: Fair. I was just trying to slip it into the conversation, hoping you'd notice. It's my bad.

Leota: Why are you seeing their penises?
Christopher: It's a locker room, dude. What am I gonna do? Look at a towel?

Leota: I'm getting so many moral judgments from people who regularly kill people.

Christopher: But, hey, I got bullied too.
Leota: How?
Christopher: By kids calling me a bully all the time, and telling me I was abusive. Hey, that hurt my feelings!