The Best Vigilante Quotes

Vigilante: Peacemaker is a great guy in almost every way, but his biggest flaw is that he commonly overestimates Eagly's abilities.

Vigilante: Do you think I feel good when after some dude does some atrocious act, that I have to kill them?
Christopher: I don't know...
Vigilante: When I find out someone murdered an innocent person, or sold somebody heroin, or did some graffiti, and I kill that person with my bare hands, their eyeballs popping out of their skulls... You think THAT gives ME pleasure?
Vigilante: [sighs] No...
Vigilante: Well, it does!
[laughs]
Vigilante: It gives you pleasure too, Peacemaker, that's cause we are born killers! What separates us from the other killers, is we only kill bad people. Usually... Unless there's a mistake! Now, do I sound like a fucking maniac?

Vigilante: Ah, fuck! I'm never, ever gonna kill someone with a fucking chainsaw. It's so not fair.

Vigilante: How did you know it was me?
Christopher: You knock in a very annoying way.

Vigilante: Dude, uh, I realize in that last message, uh, I called you P and me V, as if you were a penis and I was a vagina. Uh, that, like, definitely was... It was not my intention...

Vigilante: [to Chris] I never had a friend quite like you.

John: Why the fuck are your pants all the way down?
Vigilante: Why the fuck are your pants all the way down?

Vigilante: Ducks are sneaky, I guess.

Vigilante: Cut it out with the introspection. The mind is a den of scorpions better left running from, not towards.

Captain Caspar Locke: Do you wanna ask stupid questions or do you wanna live?
Vigilante: [to Chris] Which one do you wanna do?

Vigilante: Oh, shit! Eagly is hardcore, man!

Vigilante: We used to go out, kill bad guys. Boom, boom, boom. No problem. We accidentally kill the wrong person? "Aw, shoot. Bummer. That stinks". Then we move on! Now, suddenly, you've got this weird, new-age belief that all life is sacred!

Vigilante: Don't fuck with my BFF.

John: So, you're compassionate about tape but not brutally murdering people?
Vigilante: Yes.

Christopher: Do you read the news?
Vigilante: No. What for? It's depressing.

Vigilante: Just 'cause they're aliens doesn't make them gross.

Vigilante: Well, if you're going to be sarcastic, you should really warn people so there's no confusion.