30 Best John Cena Quotes

Agent: Look, I have no interest in you other than your ability to fight for us. Just because you're handsome doesn't mean you're not a piece-of-shit murderer.
Christopher: You think I'm handsome?
Agent: Oh, my God, please fuck off.
Christopher: Okay, look, I-- I've been in prison the last four years, okay? I haven't been with anyone-- I-- I haven't been with any woman in a long time. I'm not asking for emotional connection here. I'm just asking for fun. Genital-to-genital contact, no touching above here. No. Fuck it, it's gotta be here. I gotta touch your boobs. Sorry. Just trying to, I don't know, relieve some of the stress that's been building up over the years. I mean...

Christopher: But, hey, I got bullied too.
Leota: How?
Christopher: By kids calling me a bully all the time, and telling me I was abusive. Hey, that hurt my feelings!

Bloodsport: Yeah, well, we can't function as a team if we got to watch our back from one of our own eating our bullocks.
Ratcatcher: Nanaue, would you eat your friends?
King: I no friends.
Ratcatcher: You have no friends? If you did, would you eat them?
Bloodsport: Yes.
King: No?
Ratcatcher: Then can we be your friends?
Peacemaker: He's obviously lying.
Ratcatcher: If I die because I gambled on love, it will be a worthy death.
[Shakes hands with King Shark]
Ratcatcher: friends.
Bloodsport: You are a little idiot.

Leota: You didn't think to give me some sort of signal?
Christopher: Yeah, the signal was I shot her head off.

Peacemaker: One of the things us warriors seldom talk about is when people shit themselves when they die. It's s touch of grey in the white cloud of kicking ass.
John: So now you want me to risk my life while wearing diarrhea pants.
Peacemaker: Hey, nobody said anything about diarrhea, I said shit.

Christopher: Can I ask you something, Doc?
Dr. Alandy: Sure.
Christopher: Can you maybe up the contrast on the X-ray a little more to show the definition in my muscles? This makes me look like one of those guys who works out only thinking about bulk. I put a lot of time into my small muscle groups, and according to this, it was just... wasted effort.
Dr. Alandy: It's not for your Tinder profile, Chris.

Peacemaker: You gotta be kidding me! You're gonna risk the entire mission for a mental defective dressed as a court jester?
Bloodsport: This coming from a guy that wears a toilet seat on his head?
Rick: We don't leave one of our own behind!

Amanda: Your mission is to destroy every trace of something known only as Project Starfish. Any questions?
Peacemaker: [raises hand] Starfish is a slang term for a butthole. Think there's any connection?
[everyone stares at Peacemaker]
Amanda: No.

Peacemaker: Hey Norman Bates, if that shits contagious, we need to know.
Polka: It's not.
Peacemaker: What is it?
Polka: It's an interdimensional virus
Peacemaker: Fuck is that?
Polka: My mother was a scientist at STAR Labs, and she was obsessed with turning me and my brothers and sisters into superheroes. She infected me. Now, if i don't, you know, expel the dots twice a day..
Bloodsport: Then what?
Polka: They'll eat me alive.
Rick: What happened to your brothers and sisters?
Polka: Some lived. Some died.
Ratcatcher: And your mom, where is she now?
Polka: Everywhere.
[From his pov he sees everyone as his mother]

Christopher: Eat peace, motherfuckers.

Little: Holy sh...
Jakob: Oh no, that's okay. Song lyrics, stubbed toes, *CANNON CARS!*

Jamil: Why do you think I'm mopping floors, bro? I went to MIT. I don't like the responsibility.
Christopher: You went to MIT?
Jamil: Oh, yeah.
Christopher: [what] the fuck are you doing here?
Jamil: That's my fucking point, man! Why aren't you listening to me?

Christopher: I'm into old-fashioned stuff, too. Hummel figurines, capital punishment, Garbage Pail Kids, and stuff.

Christopher: Waller said do whatever I had to do to make sure those Project Starfish files didn't get out. I made the only choice I could.
Agent: Funny, for you, how often the only choice and killing people coincides.

Vigilante: Do you think I feel good when after some dude does some atrocious act, that I have to kill them?
Christopher: I don't know...
Vigilante: When I find out someone murdered an innocent person, or sold somebody heroin, or did some graffiti, and I kill that person with my bare hands, their eyeballs popping out of their skulls... You think THAT gives ME pleasure?
Vigilante: [sighs] No...
Vigilante: Well, it does!
[laughs]
Vigilante: It gives you pleasure too, Peacemaker, that's cause we are born killers! What separates us from the other killers, is we only kill bad people. Usually... Unless there's a mistake! Now, do I sound like a fucking maniac?

Jamil: There's no superhero called Peacemaker.
Christopher: Dude, I'm fuckin' famous.
Jamil: Not that famous. Aquaman, he's famous.
Christopher: Fuck Aquaman!
Jamil: No, man, don't say that. Why say that?
Christopher: He bangs chicks? Good for him. He fucks dudes? Got no problem with that. He starts fuckin' fish? That's taking it a step too far.
Jamil: Aquaman fucks fish?
Christopher: Yeah.
Jamil: I don't believe it.
Christopher: A guy on Twitter works for the aquarium, said for 50 bucks, he brings him in the back so he can have his way with a sturgeon
[fish]
Christopher: .
Jamil: I refuse to believe that.
Christopher: And I refuse to believe that @PepetheFrog89 is lying to me for no reason.

Jakob: [from the trailer]
[to his older brother]
Jakob: All my life I've lived in your shadow... Now you're gonna dwell in mine.

Bloodsport: Why the fuck are you in your underwear?Tighty-whities? Really?
Peacemaker: Now that's just racist.
Bloodsport: No. It's not racist. They're tighty-whities.

Peacemaker: How we getting in? Especially with Charlie the Tuna here.
Bloodsport: How the hell am I supposed to know?
Peacemaker: You're the leader You're supposed to be decisive.
Bloodsport: And I've decided that you should eat a big bag of dicks. How's that?
Peacemaker: You're being facetious. But if this whole beach was completely covered in dicks, and somebody said, I had to eat every dick until the beach was clean for liberty, I would say no problemo.
Ratcatcher: Why would someone put penises all over the beach?
Peacemaker: Who knows why madmen do what they do?

Christopher: How can I kill someone that doesn't have the dove of peace on it?

Christopher: You can't house train an eagle, dude. Not without stealing its soul.

Christopher: [Calling the Waitress] Hey, sweet-cheeks!
Leota: Sweet cheeks? Seriously, dude?
Christopher: She had cherubic cheeks. It's a compliment.
Christopher: Sweet cheeks is your butt.
Christopher: No, it's not.
Leota: It is. It's like calling somebody, I don't know, sugar tits.
Christopher: That's totally inappropriate. Her tits are way too big to be sugar tits. Sugar tits are, like, smaller, perkier tits. Like...
[to Agent Amelia Harcourt]
Christopher: yours. Uh, technically, I think you may have sugar tits, too... but somehow that also feels inappropriate.

John: Oh, my God. Could you at least take your helmet off? You're going to get dressing all over it.
Christopher: Dressing's easier to get off this helmet then human lip. That's a fucking fact.

Auggie's: Batman doesn't kill people.
Christopher: Because he's a pussy!
Auggie's: He's a dark creature of the night.
Christopher: He's a jackass! Who wrestles with murderers dressed like clowns and throws them in prison, so they can break out of prison and then murder more people!

Bloodsport: What's the plan?
Rick: How the hell am I supposed to know?
Peacemaker: You're the leader! You're supposed to be decisive!
Bloodsport: And I'm deciding that you should eat a big bag of dicks!
Peacemaker: If this whole beach was completely covered in dicks, and somebody said I had to eat every dick until the beach was clean for liberty, I would say "no problemo!"
Ratcatcher: Why would someone put penises all over the beach?
Peacemaker: Who knows why madmen do what they do?

Vigilante: How did you know it was me?
Christopher: You knock in a very annoying way.

Amanda: Each member of the team is chosen for his or her own completely unique set of abilities. This is Christopher Smith, known as Peacemaker. In his hands, anything is a deadly weapon. His father was a soldier who trained his son how to kill from the moment he was born.
Bloodsport: You just said each member of the team is chosen for their unique abilities. He does exactly what I do.
Peacemaker: But better
Bloodsport: I always hit my targets dead center.
Peacemaker: I hit them more in the center.
Bloodsport: Well, you can't hit something more in the center.
Peacemaker: I use smaller bullets.
Bloodsport: What?
Peacemaker: They go inside your bullet holes without even touching the sides

Peacemaker,6613: [the Justice League arrives to help Peacemaker]
Peacemaker: You're late, you fucking dickheads! Go fuck another fish, asshole!
Aquaman: I'm so fucking sick of that rumor.
The: It's not a rumor.
Aquaman: Fuck you, Barry!

Leota: We don't need to know how much she enjoyed having sex with you.
Christopher: What if it's a clue?
Leota: It's not.
Christopher: Fair. I was just trying to slip it into the conversation, hoping you'd notice. It's my bad.

Christopher: Fucking raccoons are hardcore, man.