The Best Bloodsport Quotes

Bloodsport: Uh, what's with the javelin?
Harley: I'm waiting for God to tell me.
Bloodsport: Jesus Christ!
Harley: Yeah. Or Him. Or any of them really.

Bloodsport: Next time you want to nick something, you take a partner, and they can be your lookout.
Tyla: That's your advice?
Bloodsport: Yeah.
Tyla: You're a terrible father. I can't believe you don't care that I stole, only that I got caught.
Bloodsport: I don't only care that you got caught, I care that you got caught for stealing something as stupid as a fucking TV watch!
Tyla: It does other things too!
Bloodsport: But nothing that your phone can't fucking do! It's embarrassing!
Tyla: No, what's fucking embarrassing is having you as my father.

[King Shark has a false moustache]
Bloodsport: You still look like you.
Peacemaker: It's the worst fake moustache I've ever seen.
Bloodsport: If you followed us, we'd have to kill you, shark-shaped bloke with a moustache creeping up on us like that...
King: FUCK YOU!

Rick: Fire on three, two...
Harley: What are you guys doing?
Rick: You. We're here to save you.
Harley: You were going to save me?
Rick: It was a really good plan too.
Harley: Well, I could go back inside, and you can still do it.
Bloodsport: That's patronizing. What's with the javelin?
Harley: I'm waiting for God to tell me.
Bloodsport: Jesus Christ.
Harley: Yeah. Or Him. Or any of them really.

Peacemaker: How we getting in? Especially with Charlie the Tuna here.
Bloodsport: How the hell am I supposed to know?
Peacemaker: You're the leader You're supposed to be decisive.
Bloodsport: And I've decided that you should eat a big bag of dicks. How's that?
Peacemaker: You're being facetious. But if this whole beach was completely covered in dicks, and somebody said, I had to eat every dick until the beach was clean for liberty, I would say no problemo.
Ratcatcher: Why would someone put penises all over the beach?
Peacemaker: Who knows why madmen do what they do?

Bloodsport: We're all going to die.
Polka: I hope so.
Bloodsport: Oh, for fuck's sake...

Bloodsport: Why the fuck are you in your underwear?Tighty-whities? Really?
Peacemaker: Now that's just racist.
Bloodsport: No. It's not racist. They're tighty-whities.

Bloodsport: What's the plan?
Rick: How the hell am I supposed to know?
Peacemaker: You're the leader! You're supposed to be decisive!
Bloodsport: And I'm deciding that you should eat a big bag of dicks!
Peacemaker: If this whole beach was completely covered in dicks, and somebody said I had to eat every dick until the beach was clean for liberty, I would say "no problemo!"
Ratcatcher: Why would someone put penises all over the beach?
Peacemaker: Who knows why madmen do what they do?

Ratcatcher: Aw, he's offering you a pretty leaf to show you he means no harm?
Bloodsport: Why the fuck would I want a leaf? Just get the rats out of here!

Amanda: Each member of the team is chosen for his or her own completely unique set of abilities. This is Christopher Smith, known as Peacemaker. In his hands, anything is a deadly weapon. His father was a soldier who trained his son how to kill from the moment he was born.
Bloodsport: You just said each member of the team is chosen for their unique abilities. He does exactly what I do.
Peacemaker: But better
Bloodsport: I always hit my targets dead center.
Peacemaker: I hit them more in the center.
Bloodsport: Well, you can't hit something more in the center.
Peacemaker: I use smaller bullets.
Bloodsport: What?
Peacemaker: They go inside your bullet holes without even touching the sides

Bloodsport: Look, I know Flag wanted to give the drive to the press, but we just saved a whole bloody city. We can't have it all.
Harley: Flag was my friend.
Bloodsport: Mine too. And i haven't got many of those.
Harley: I could be your friend, Milton.
Bloodsport: Not my name.
Harley: What? What are you talking about? We just had a conversation for like three hours about how your name is Milton.
Bloodsport: Didn't.
Harley: Yes, we did.
Bloodsport: No.

Peacemaker: Hey Norman Bates, if that shits contagious, we need to know.
Polka: It's not.
Peacemaker: What is it?
Polka: It's an interdimensional virus
Peacemaker: Fuck is that?
Polka: My mother was a scientist at STAR Labs, and she was obsessed with turning me and my brothers and sisters into superheroes. She infected me. Now, if i don't, you know, expel the dots twice a day..
Bloodsport: Then what?
Polka: They'll eat me alive.
Rick: What happened to your brothers and sisters?
Polka: Some lived. Some died.
Ratcatcher: And your mom, where is she now?
Polka: Everywhere.
[From his pov he sees everyone as his mother]

Rick: Alright, who ate all the fucking empanadas?
Bloodsport: I had the chicken. Mine were very good.
Rick: All right, here's the deal. We fail the mission, you die.
Bloodsport: We find out any information you give is is false, you die.
Harley: If we find out you have personalized license plates, you die.
Rick: What? No.
Harley: If you mismatch blacks, you die.
Rick: No!
Harley: If you cough without covering your mouth...
Rick: Harley. Those last three aren't things. Although, probably don't need to say this, but that isn't an open invitation for you to cough without covering your mouth.

Bloodsport: No one likes a show-off.
Peacemaker: Unless what they're showing off is dope as fuck.
Bloodsport: [under his breath] Fuck. That's true.

Peacemaker: You gotta be kidding me! You're gonna risk the entire mission for a mental defective dressed as a court jester?
Bloodsport: This coming from a guy that wears a toilet seat on his head?
Rick: We don't leave one of our own behind!

Bloodsport: Yeah, well, we can't function as a team if we got to watch our back from one of our own eating our bullocks.
Ratcatcher: Nanaue, would you eat your friends?
King: I no friends.
Ratcatcher: You have no friends? If you did, would you eat them?
Bloodsport: Yes.
King: No?
Ratcatcher: Then can we be your friends?
Peacemaker: He's obviously lying.
Ratcatcher: If I die because I gambled on love, it will be a worthy death.
[Shakes hands with King Shark]
Ratcatcher: friends.
Bloodsport: You are a little idiot.

Ratcatcher: [Sebastian the rat is being affectionate to Bloodsport] Aw. He always wants to be near you. I think he senses good in you.
Bloodsport: Yeah, there's no good in me.
[He shuts the van door on Sebastian]