50 Best Lindsay Lohan Quotes

Lindsay: I'm going to blow you across the room!
Charlie: Sounds awesome.

Annie: [Hallie just finished cutting Annie's hair to look like hers] This is so scary.
Hallie: Honey, you never looked better.

Hallie: [suddenly recognizing her grandfather as the man who had been standing outside the phone booth, and realizing that he has therefore heard everything she was saying to Annie and so knows that something is up] Uh-oohhhh...
Grandpa: [in a slightly stern but kindly tone, and with an obvious amused twinkle] "Uh-oh" is right. Now suppose you and I just take a little stroll in the park, young lady, and you can tell me awl-l-l-l-l about it?
Hallie: [in a resigned but slightly hopeful voice, feeling encouraged that her grampa didn't get mad right off] Okay.

Elizabeth: [Hallie, as Annie, is underneath Elizabeth's covers struggling to tell her about the switch] Annie!
Hallie: That's where I have to go; I have to go see Annie!
Elizabeth: I see, and where might Annie be?
Hallie: In Napa, with her father Nick Parker.
Elizabeth: You're not Annie?
Hallie: That would be correct.
Elizabeth: You're Hallie?
Hallie: I am. Annie and I met up at camp and, and we decided to switch places. I'm sorry, but I've never seen you and I've dreamt of meeting you my whole life and Annie felt the exact same way about Dad so, so we sort of just switched lives. I hope you're not mad because I love you so much, and I just hope that one day you could love me as me, and not as Annie.
Elizabeth: Oh darling, I've loved you your whole life.
Martin,: [sobbing after he kisses Grandfather's hand] I've never been so happy in my entire life!
[continues sobbing as Grandfather closes the door]

Lindsay: Okay, what is that?
Charlie: Just unraveling the old hose.
Charlie: Save it for tomorrow, Raul!
Raul: Si senor.

Annie: Hallie, what was your mother like?
Hallie: I never met her. She and my Dad split up when I was a baby, maybe even before, I'm not sure. He doesn't really like to talk about her... but I know she was really beautiful.
Annie: How do you know that?
Hallie: Because my dad had this old picture of her hidden in his sock drawer and he caught me looking at it all the time so he gave it to me to keep. I'm really thirsty, you sure you don't want to go to the canteen and get something to drink?
Annie: Will you stop thinking about your stomach at a time like this!
Hallie: At a time like what?
Annie: [as she and Hallie step back into the cabin] Don't you realize what's happening? Oh man, this is beyond coincidence, this is beyond imagination! I only have a mother, and you only have a father... You've never seen your Mom, and I've never seen my Dad. You have one old picture of your Mom, I have one old picture of my Dad but at least yours is probably a whole picture.
[Hallie races over to her trunk]
Annie: Mine's a pathetic little thing, ripped right down the middle... What are you rummaging in your trunk for this time?
Hallie: [she finally faces Annie as she hold a picture to her chest] This. It's the picture of my Mom. And it's ripped too.
Annie: [knowing] Right down the middle?
Hallie: [nervously] Right down the middle.
Annie: [races over to her trunk and takes out a photo and holds it to her chest] This is so freaky. Okay. On the count of three, we'll show them to each other, okay?
Hallie: Okay.
Annie: One...
Hallie: Two...
Annie: [together with Hallie] Three!
[they both gasp as they place the photo together and realize...]
Hallie: That's my Dad...
Annie: That's my Mom...
[she hears the bell]
Annie: That's the lunch bell.
Hallie: [as she wipes away her tears] I'm not so hungry anymore. So if your Mom is my Mom and my Dad is your Dad... and we're both born on October 11th, then you and I are... like... sisters.
Annie: Sisters? Hallie, we're like twins!
Hallie: Oh my god!
Annie: Oh my god!
[they hug]

Hallie: [takes out a box of Oreos] Want one?
Annie: Oh, sure, I love Oreos. At home, I eat them with... I eat them with peanut butter.
Hallie: You do? That is so *weird*!
[takes out a jar of peanut butter]
Hallie: So do I!
Annie: You're kidding! Most people find that totally disgusting.
Hallie: I know, I don't get it.
Annie: Me either.

Jake: You know, I've been thinking about that kiss.
Anna: [puzzled] Kiss?
[pulls herself together]
Anna: Remind me again how I did it.
Jake: In front of your mom?
Anna: It's okay. She owes me.
[They kiss]

Cady: Oh, god.
Janis: You dirty little liar!
Cady: I'm sorry, I can explain.
Janis: Explain how you forgot to invite us to your party?
Damian: Janis, I cannot stop this car. I have a curfew.
Cady: You know I couldn't invite you. I had to pretend to be plastic.
Janis: Hey, buddy, you're not pretending anymore. You're plastic. Cold, shiny, hard plastic.
Damian: Curfew, 1:00 AM, it is now 1:10.
Janis: Did you have an awesome time? Did you drink awesome shooters, listen to awesome music, and then just sit around and soak up each others awesomeness?
Cady: You know what? You're the one who made me like this so you could use me for your 8th grade revenge!
Janis: God! See, at least me and Regina George know we're mean! You try to act so innocent like, "Oh, I use to live in Africa with all the little birdies, and the little monkeys!"
Cady: You know what! It's not my fault you're like, in love with me, or something!
Janis: What?
Damian: Oh, no, she did not!
Janis: See? That's the thing with you plastics. You think everybody is in love with you when actually, everybody HATES you! Like, Aaron Samuels, for example, he broke up with Regina and guess what? He still doesn't want you! So why are you still messing with Regina, Cady? I'll tell you why, because you are a mean girl! You're a bitch! Here. You can have this. It won a prize.
[Damian drives away with Janis, yelling out the window]
Damian: And I want my pink shirt back! I want my pink shirt back!

Senator: [to April, who's dressed in a nun's habit] Sister. Please... I've done wrong. I've lived a hateful life. I'm not even from around here. I hate Texas. I hate the heat. Give me my last rites.
April: [points a large revolver at McLaughlin] In the name of my father...
Senator: My... my father? April?
[April shoots him three times in the chest]
April: I forgot the rest.

Annie: Mum. Daddy's getting married.
[Elizabeth falls to the couch, stunned]
Annie: To Cruella de Vil. She's awful, Mum. We can't let him go through with it.

Hallie: [seeing Meredith before they leave for their camping trip] Dad, what's Meredith doing here?
Nick: Your mother invited her.
Annie: What?
Nick: Be nice.

Meredith: You know, from the way your father talked about you, I expected a little girl, but you are so grown-up.
Annie: I'll be twelve soon. How old are you?
Meredith: [chuckling] Twenty-six.
Annie: Only fifteen years older than me! How old are you again, Dad?
Nick: Wow, suddenly you're so interested in math!

Anna: You're ruining my life!

Anna: I'm old!
Tess: I beg your pardon!
Anna: Oh, I'm like the Cryptkeeper!

Elizabeth: One of you, I'm not sure which one at the moment, but one of you told me your father knew I was arriving here today. Well I'm here to tell you that the man I just saw in the elevator had absolutely no idea he and I were on the same *planet*, let alone in the same hotel.
Annie: You saw Dad already?
Elizabeth: Yes, I did now.
[flopping onto the couch]
Elizabeth: Oh. The man went completely ashen like I was the bloody Ghost of Christmas Past!
[to both girls]
Elizabeth: Can one of you get something cold for my head?
Elizabeth: [Annie gets up] I mean, don't you think I've pondered what it was going to be like to see your father after all these years? Well let me tell you, me waving like a mindless idiot while Nick Parker's wrapped around another woman's arms is not exactly the scenario I had in mind. No sirree.

Damian: [reading Cady's class schedule] Health, Spanish... you're taking 12th Grade Calculus?
Cady: Yeah, I like math.
Damian: Eww. Why?
Cady: Because it's the same in every country.
Damian: That's beautiful.
[to Janis]
Damian: This girl is deep.

Cady: Half the people in this room are mad at me, and the other half only like me because they think I pushed somebody in front a bus, so that's not good.

Tess: Honey. Look, I think something's happened to us.
Anna: What are you?
Tess: It's me, Mom.
Anna: You're not my mother!
Tess: Yes, I am.
Anna: Get away, you clone freak!
Tess: Don't you use that tone with me!
Anna: Oh my God, you are my mother!

Nick: Hal, come here. We have to talk.
Annie: Okay, shoot.
Nick: Okay, honey... I want to know what you *think* about making Meredith part of the family?
Annie: Part of *our* family?
Nick: Yeah.
Annie: I think - it's an awesome idea. Inspired. Brilliant really.
Nick: You do? Really? You do?
Annie: Totally, it's like a dream come true. I've always wanted a big sister.
Nick: Oh... um... Honey, I'm think you're kind of missing the point.
Annie: No, I'm not. You're going to adopt Meredith. That is so sweet, Dad.
Nick: No, I'm not going to adopt her. I'm going to marry her.
Annie: [leaps from her seat] Marry her? That's insane! How can you marry a woman young enough to be my big sister?
[she begins to rant, accidentally yelling in French]
Annie: Mais tu plaisantes, j'espère. Meredith, ce n'est pas une fille pour toi. Mais c'est pas possible, je rêve. Qu'est-ce qui...
Nick: Hal, Hal, Hal. Calm down, Hal!
[realizes]
Nick: Were you speaking French?
Annie: I... I learned it at camp.
[takes a breath]
Annie: Ok, I'm sorry. Let's discuss this calmly. Calmly and rationally.
Nick: Yeah, and in English if you don't mind, right?
Annie: Okay.
Nick: Sweetheart what has gotten into you?
Annie: Nothing, nothing, just... just... Dad, you can't get married; it'll totally ruin completely everything!
[she runs from the house]
Nick: Hal! Hal! Hallie!
[he looks to Chessy, who appears at a window]
Chessy,: Don't look at me. I don't know a thing.
[she closes the windows]

April: Do you even know how many hits I get on my website?
Booth: You have a website? She has a website? Did you know about this?
April: I know all about what the online public wants. And they want me. All of me.
Booth: That does it. I'm sending you to a convent.

Annie: Any of your pictures ruined?
Hallie: Only the beautiful Leo DiCaprio...
Annie: Who?
Hallie: You've never heard of Leonardo DiCaprio? How far away is London anyway?

Cady: Regina said she'll talk to Aaron. And now she is. How can Janis hate her? She's such a good... SLUT!

Regina: I gave him everything! I was half a virgin when I met him.
Karen: Do you wanna do something fun? Wanna go to taco bell?
Regina: I can't go to taco bell, I'm on an all-carb diet. GOD Karen you're so stupid!
[Regina leaves, Gretchen follows]
Gretchen: Wait, Regina! Talk to me!
Regina: No one understands me...
Gretchen: I understand you!
[Regina & Gretchen's voices fade out]
Cady: You're not stupid, Karen.
Karen: No, I am actually. I'm failing almost everything!
Cady: Well... there must be something you're good at.
Karen: I can stick my whole fist in my mouth! Wanna see?
Cady: No no no... Anything else?
Karen: Well... I'm kinda psychic. I have a fifth sense.
Cady: What do you mean?
Karen: It's like I have ESPN or something. My breasts can always tell when it's going to rain.
Cady: Really? That's amazing.
Karen: Well... they can tell when it's raining.

Cady: Hey!
Regina: Why were you talking to Janis Ian?
Cady: I don't know, I mean, she's so weird, she just, you know, came up to me and started talking to me about crack.
Regina: She's so pathetic. Let me tell you something about Janis Ian. We were best friends in middle school. I know, right? It's so embarrassing. I don't even... Whatever. So then in eighth grade, I started going out with my first boyfriend Kyle who was totally gorgeous but then he moved to Indiana, and Janis was like, weirdly jealous of him. Like, if I would blow her off to hang out with Kyle, she'd be like, "Why didn't you call me back?" And I'd be like, "Why are you so obsessed with me?" So then, for my birthday party, which was an all-girls pool party, I was like, "Janis, I can't invite you, because I think you're lesbian." I mean I couldn't have a lesbian at my party. There were gonna be girls there in their *bathing suits*. I mean, right? She was a LESBIAN. So then her mom called my mom and started yelling at her, it was so retarded. And then she dropped out of school because no one would talk to her, and she came back in the fall for high school, all of her hair was cut off and she was totally weird, and now I guess she's on crack.

Tess: We'd like to speak to you about something that we think happened to us at your restaurant.
Anna: Yeah, something that SUCKS.

Anna: I'm going to get a little stud here Ok?
[holding top part of ear]
Tess: I don't want my maid of honor looking like a harlot.

Charlie: Do me a favor. Promise me you won't drive.
Lindsay: That's sweet. You're worried about me driving.
Charlie: I'm worried about me. I'm a pedestrian.

Elizabeth: [after the limo pulls up to the end of an empty pier and everyone gets out] Where are we?
Nick: This is where we're eating?
Hallie: [Pointing to a 100+ foot yacht] No. Actually, *that's* where we're eating.
Annie: She's ours for the night.
Nick: Wow. So, how exactly are we paying for this?
Annie: Well, we pooled our allowances.
Nick: Yeah. Right. Annie?
Annie: Okay. Grandfather chipped in a bit.
Elizabeth: Annie!
Annie: Okay. He chipped in a lot.

Tess: She is dead, worse than dead. She will spend the next year in a phoneless, dateless, Amish existence!

Mrs. George: [serving the Plastics fruit drinks] Hey, you guys! Happy hour is from four to six!
Cady: Um, is there alcohol in this?
Mrs. George: Oh, God, honey, no! What kind of mother do you think I am? Why, do you want a little bit? Because if you're going to drink I'd rather you do it in the house.

Hallie: [playing poker with Annie at camp] I'll tell you what I'm gonna do. I'll make you a little deal: *loser* jumps into the lake after the game.
Annie: Excellent.
Hallie: Butt naked.
Annie: Even more excellent. Start unzipping, Parker.
[revealing her hand to Hallie]
Annie: Straight, in diamonds.
Hallie: You're good James... but... you're just not good enough.
[revealing her hand to Annie]
Hallie: In your honor, a royal flush.

[Hallie is trying to convince Annie the proposed switch will work]
Hallie: Look, I can do you already.
[Hallie pulls her hair back and adopts a British accent]
Hallie: "Yes, you want to know the real difference between us? I have class and you don't." Come on, Annie. I gotta meet my ma.
[arranges her expression into a pout]

Lindsay: I don't want to end up all over the Internet. I pride myself on keeping a low profile. My private life is private... wait, what are all these?
Charlie: Oh, just some movies I rented.
Lindsay: Me and Brandy, missionary?
Charlie: A tale of two girls who become nuns.
Lindsay: And what are all those?
Charlie: Oh, it's just your standard home security setup, basic run of the mill.
Lindsay: And why do you need security cameras pointing at your bed.
Charlie: In case a burglar tries to steal my sex tapes.

Zoe: [as the girls walk back to their cabin, Hallie is riding on Nicole's back] I swear, I heard that girl sneezing all the way across the mess hall this morning.
Hallie: [laughs, and then lets out a yawn] I'm so tired. I'm crawling back into bed, and sleeping till lunch.
Nicole: [lets Hallie off her back and stares in shock] That does not sound like a possibility, babe.
Hallie: [shrugs] Why not?
Nicole: [pointing] *That's* why not!
Hallie: [looks in the direction that Nicole is pointing, and sees their cots are perched on the roof, as "Hail Brittania" plays] No way!

Annie: Okay, this is Grandfather...
Hallie: He's so cute! What do we call him?
Annie: Grandfather...
Hallie: Why didn't I think of that?...

Hallie: I have a brilliant beyond brilliant idea!

Tess: You pierced your navel?
Anna: Yeah, I... meant to talk to you about that.
Tess: When did you do this?
Anna: At Maddie's cousin's sweet 16.
Tess: Well, when you get your body back, it's grounded.

Hallie: His and hers kids. No offense, Mom, but this arrangement really sucks.
Elizabeth: I agree, it totally sucks.

Anna: It's easy to be you. I'll just suck the fun out of everything.
Tess: I do not suck the fun out of everything.
Anna: Fun-sucker.

Nick: [about Meredith on the camping trip] I'm not marrying her because she's Annie Oakley.
Hallie: Who's Annie Oakley?

Grandpa: [Annie smells him] What are you doing?
Hallie: Making a memory! Years from now, when I'm all grown up, I'll always remember my grandfather and how he always smelled of...
[smells him again]
Hallie: peppermint and pipe tobacco.

Marva: Excuse me, girls. I just got to have a scoop of these gorgeous strawberries. Would you care for some dear?
Hallie: Oh, no thanks, can't. I-I'm allergic.
Marva: Oh, that's too bad. How about you, dear, strawberries?
Annie: Oh, sorry, I wish I could, but I can't, I-I'm allergic.
Marva: Yes, you just told me that over here. How'd you get over there? Well, first day at camp you'll have to excuse the old girl.
[Annie walks away]
Marva: At least I'm not putting salt in the sugar shakers. Well, actually sugar in the salt shakers, but... now where did she get off to?

Meredith: Have you seen your father?
Hallie: [Not yet aware who Meredith is] You talking to me?
Meredith: Who are you, Robert De Niro? Yes, I am talking to you.

Annie: [Hallie is getting ready to cut Annie's hair] Don't shut YOUR eyes!
Hallie: Okay, sorry. Got a little nervous!
Annie: YOU'RE nervous? An 11 year-old is cutting my hair!
Hallie: Hey, you sounded just like me!
Annie: Well, I'm supposed to, aren't I?
[sighs in desparation]
Annie: Go on, just do it.

Damian: [delivering candy canes] Taylor Zimmermann, two for you. Glenn Coco? FOUR for you, Glenn Coco! You go, Glenn Coco. And uh... "Caddy" Heron. Do we have a "Caddy" Heron here?
Cady: It's Cady.
Damian: Oh Cady, here you go, one for you... And none for Gretchen Wieners, bye.

Anna: So you're in my body, and I'm in your body. Why don't we, like...
Tess: Yes, yes, I see what you're saying. A jolt! Okay, you go over there, and I go over here. Okay, when I say go. Ready? Go!
[they both run at and crash into each other and fall to the ground while Harry walks into the room]

[first lines]
Lindsay: I just don't want to make one of these tapes if it's something you do with every girl.
Charlie: Every girl? No, no. I am strictly a one-woman guy.

[to Dom after hitting Charlie]
Lindsay: You were driving.

Tess: And what are you doing with this?
[grabs box of french fries]
Anna: I'm eating.
Tess: You cannot eat fast food.
Anna: Why not?
Tess: Because it will go down your throat and drop instantly to my thighs!