The Best Lindy Quotes

Barry Kasparzki: Look, even the government, ain't dumb enough to go after Fizel. Are you really that stupid?
Lindy: You know what? I think I am *exactly* that stupid.

Andy: Okay, so what? Forget your password or something?
Lindy: No. It's more, the man I loved was murdered and I stole his phone from the police, and now I've got to track down the bad guy before they do, so I can kill the shit out of them.
Andy: Oh. Cool.

[Lindy is about to torture Barry]
Lindy: Interesting ball colour. What we calling that? Oxblood? Claret?
Barry Kasparzki: Just like a woman, straight for the nuts!
Lindy: No. I only do that when I'm in a hurry. Although, evolution hasn't really been kind to you guys, putting the on/off switch dangling around in front for any predator to come by and flick!

[Lindy is straddling the last defeated challenge fighter's neck]
Barry Kasparzki: That's enough! Fight's over! Everybody out!
Lindy: If he had a bigger Adam's apple, this'd be really be working for me.

Lindy: What do you know about him?
Detective: Billionaire recluse with his fingers in a bunch of different illegal pies. He's pretty much untouchable.
Lindy: Oh, I'm gonna touch him. Hard... And a lot. And not in a way he's gonna enjoy.

[Detective Vicars shares a shock from Lindy's vest so he can see how it feels]
Detective: Okay, you know what that tells me?
Lindy: I'm way more screwed up than you thought.
Detective: No. No, it tells me that you'd rather hurt yourself than somebody else. Nevin says I treat you different because you're a woman. She says... I'm going easy on you.
Lindy: Is she right?
Detective: I treat you different because you are different.

Lindy: [about her date] Oh, my God! The penis! I almost called you in the middle of it. It, like, unfurled itself, like to ten times its length, like, like a travel umbrella! I've only ever heard of that!
Dr. Munchin: Yeah.
Lindy: Never actually seen it!

Dr. Munchin: [sarcastically] Would you like me to put leeches on your skin? Would you like me to drill a hole in your head to release the demons? Would you like me to make you drink your own urine?
Lindy: Actually tried that.
Dr. Munchin: That's disgusting