30 Best Kate Beckinsale Quotes

Count: Don't we make a lovely couple?
[Anna looks at the mirror. Dracula is not in the reflection]
Count: I'm looking for a new bride, Anna, someone strong and beautiful. All it takes is one bite from me.
Anna: [Dracula hugs her tighter] You have no heartbeat.
Count: Perhaps it just needs to be rekindled.

Howard: Does that look clean to you?
Ava: Nothing's clean, Howard. But we do our best, right?

[Dracula's minions have taken all of Frankenstein's equipment to castle Dracula]
Anna: Then we've lost.
Carl: Dracula can't bring them to life until the sun sets. We still have time.
Anna: "Time"? The sun sets in two hours, and we've been searching for his lair for over 400 years!
Carl: I wasn't around for those 400 years, was I?

Barry Kasparzki: Look, even the government, ain't dumb enough to go after Fizel. Are you really that stupid?
Lindy: You know what? I think I am *exactly* that stupid.

Ava: You listened to my phone calls?
Howard: No! No! No! Honey I would never do that! I'd never do that! I... I just read the transcripts, that's all.

Lindy: What do you know about him?
Detective: Billionaire recluse with his fingers in a bunch of different illegal pies. He's pretty much untouchable.
Lindy: Oh, I'm gonna touch him. Hard... And a lot. And not in a way he's gonna enjoy.

Howard: Will you marry me?
Ava: You're too crazy for me.

Aleera: Anna, my love. It is your blood that shall keep me beautiful. What do you think of that?
[laughs triumphantly, then screams as Anna catches a silver stake and impales her through the chest]
Anna: I think if you're going to kill somebody, kill them! Don't stand around talking about it!

Ava: Get that crazy bitch away from me!

Van: There's something down here, it's carnivorous. Whatever it is it appears to be... human. I'd say it's a size 17, about 360 pounds, 8 and a half to 9 feet tall and he has a bad gimp in his right leg and, ah, 3 copper teeth.
Anna: How do you know he has copper teeth?
Van: 'Cause he's standing right behind you.
[shouts]
Van: Move!

Carl: [about his invention] I know what it's for! I know what it's for!... Where are we going?
Van: Through that window!

Van: He's not your brother anymore, Anna!
Anna: You knew?
Van: Yes.
Anna: Before or after I stopped you from shooting him?
Van: Before.
Anna: And still you tried to kill him!
Van: He's a werewolf. He's going to kill people!
Anna: It's not his fault! He can't help it!
Van: I know, but he's going to do it anyway!

[Lindy is about to torture Barry]
Lindy: Interesting ball colour. What we calling that? Oxblood? Claret?
Barry Kasparzki: Just like a woman, straight for the nuts!
Lindy: No. I only do that when I'm in a hurry. Although, evolution hasn't really been kind to you guys, putting the on/off switch dangling around in front for any predator to come by and flick!

Anna: Some say you're a murderer, Mr. Van Helsing. Others say you're a holy man. Which is it?
Van: It's a bit of both, I think.

[Lindy is straddling the last defeated challenge fighter's neck]
Barry Kasparzki: That's enough! Fight's over! Everybody out!
Lindy: If he had a bigger Adam's apple, this'd be really be working for me.

Anna: He's the first one to kill a vampire in over a hundred years. I'd say that's earned him a drink.

Anna: [after Van Helsing has killed the Werewolf] You killed him!
Van: Now you see why people call me a murderer.

Ava: ...You can't buy me, Howard, so stop trying. Don't buy me any more diamonds or sapphires or any other damn thing. You can buy me dinner...

Dr. Munchin: [sarcastically] Would you like me to put leeches on your skin? Would you like me to drill a hole in your head to release the demons? Would you like me to make you drink your own urine?
Lindy: Actually tried that.
Dr. Munchin: That's disgusting

[after Van Helsing's first, failed attempt to kill Dracula]
Anna: A silver stake? A crucifix? What, did you think we haven't tried everything before? We've shot him, stabbed him, clubbed him, sprayed him with holy water, staked him through the heart, and STILL he lives! Do you understand? No-one knows how to kill Dracula!
Van: Well, I could have used that information a little earlier.

Anna: [while looking at the cure for the werewolf curse] Go ahead, grab it.
Carl: Why don't you go ahead and grab it? If there's one thing I've learned, it's never to stick your hand into a viscous material.

Anna: We Transylvanians always look on the brighter side of death.
Van: There's a brighter side of death?
Anna: Of course. It's just harder to see.

[approaching the entrance to Castle Dracula]
Carl: Do we have a plan? I mean, it doesn't have to be Wellington's at Waterloo, but some kind of plan would be nice.
Van: We're going to go in there and stop Dracula.
Anna: And kill anyone who gets in our way.
Carl: [quickly turns around] Well, you let me know how that goes...

Andy: Okay, so what? Forget your password or something?
Lindy: No. It's more, the man I loved was murdered and I stole his phone from the police, and now I've got to track down the bad guy before they do, so I can kill the shit out of them.
Andy: Oh. Cool.

Ava: You don't own me, Howard. I'm not one of your teenage whores and I'm not some damn airplane!

Lindy: [about her date] Oh, my God! The penis! I almost called you in the middle of it. It, like, unfurled itself, like to ten times its length, like, like a travel umbrella! I've only ever heard of that!
Dr. Munchin: Yeah.
Lindy: Never actually seen it!

Anna: What are these things?
Van: I think they're Dracula's children.
Anna: His children?
Van: A man, with three gorgeous women, for four hundred years?

Van: [to a captive Igor] If they even suspect you of misleading them...
[he demonstrates a wicked-looked set of pliers in front of Igor's face, then hands them to Anna]
Van: Clip off one of his fingers.
Anna: I'll clip off something.

Howard: No, wait! Honey, you can't move! You can't move, you're safe here! You're in the germ-free zone now, y'understand?
Ava: I'll take my chances.
Howard: No, no! Honey, wait... wait, uh...
[Ava removes the string barriers from the doorway and walks into the study. She turns on the light, revealing that entire room is covered with used tissues and string barriers everywhere. Silence for a moment]
Ava: Love what you've done with the place...

[Detective Vicars shares a shock from Lindy's vest so he can see how it feels]
Detective: Okay, you know what that tells me?
Lindy: I'm way more screwed up than you thought.
Detective: No. No, it tells me that you'd rather hurt yourself than somebody else. Nevin says I treat you different because you're a woman. She says... I'm going easy on you.
Lindy: Is she right?
Detective: I treat you different because you are different.