The Best Mark Twain Quotes

Grant: Gentlemen, the buy-in is $15,000
Mark: 15 large. Are you sure General Custard can swing that?
General: It's Custer, not "Custard." There is no "D." I'm not a dessert.
Mark: Boom, I just dropped some satire on your ass, General!
General: You got me!

Wyatt: What's shakin' Twain?
Mark: Hey, I'm good on anything. Just like gravy, baby. Good to see you my man.
Wyatt: You too, man.
Wyatt: Hey, I finally read Prince and the Pauper.
Mark: Oh, is that right?
Wyatt: Didn't get it.
Mark: For reals?
Wyatt: Satire! Boom! I got ya!