The Best Lil Pete Quotes

Lil': Hey, friend. Need any help getting her out?
Ramon: She's not really stuck, amigo. She's just a diversion.
Lil': She's a virgin? I'm a virgin, too... unless you count cantaloupes.
Ramon: I believe that, but she's a diversion to keep the banker busy so that my brother has time to rob the bank.
Lil': You're robbing the bank? Gall dang!

[last lines]
Lil': Dear Mama, so much has changed since my last letter. I scarcely know where to begin. First off, it turns out our daddy is a bad, bad man, and he got thrown in jail. But it's okay, 'cause Screaming Eagle, the Indian chief who raised Tommy, said he'd be all our dads, too. I really like it here in this village. Our new brothers and sisters love to have fun and have been so nice to all of us.
Screaming: These white guys cannot dance!
Lil': Danny don't drink whiskey no more. And Ramon and Herm are trying to learn Indian ways. Oh, and big news. I finally have a girlfriend, and she's much prettier than a canty-loupe.
Tommy: [to Lil Pete & Beaver Breath] Come on you two, you're missing all the fun!
Lil': Anyways, Mama, thanks for raising me. Your loving son, Lil Pete, proud member of the Ridiculous 6.

Tommy: Any of you handsome brothers ready to go steal a big hunk of gold?
Chico: I'm ready.
Ramon: I'm hungry.
Danny: I'm drunk.
Lil': And I'm Lil Pete.
Herm: [unintelligible]
Tommy: Let's get that nugget then...

Lil': Oh Pa, I have a question for you.
Frank: Yeah.
Lil': Where do babies come from?
Frank: Well, son, the mom just poops 'em out.
Lil': [laughed] I knewed it! I knewed it, Dad!