The Best Danny Quotes

[Danny tells his brothers the incident with President Lincoln]
Danny: Mr. President, say, I'm gonna go hit the little boy's room.
Abraham: Are you shitting me?
Danny: Come on, you'll be fine superstar. Can I get you something on the way back? Agua? Brewski?
Abraham: No.
Danny: Alright. Fair enough, I'll be back in two.
John: [running into one another in the hall] Where's the president's box?
Danny: John Wilkes Booth, the actor?
John: Yeah.
Danny: No way, man! Big fan! You wanna say hi to the president? He'd get a real kick out of that. Last door on the left.
John: Thank you!
Danny: Really cool. Wow, love that guy!
Danny: [Danny is pooping when he hears a gunshot fired and women screaming] Abe!

Danny: I did a real stupid thing that inadvertently led to the death of a United States president, I'm feeling pretty lousy about it.
Frank: Well son, look at my eyes... Shit happens!
Danny: Yeah. Thanks. Thank you, sir.

Ramon: So, do you new brothers have any special skills that could help us out here tonight?
Chico: Like what?
Ramon: Like you know, Tommy's good with knives, Lil Pete's got a bonus nipple, I got a burro, Herm is good at strangling.
Danny: I can hold my breath for six minutes.
Chico: Well, I can play the piano with my dick.
Tommy: Well, we're unstoppable then.

Tommy: Any of you handsome brothers ready to go steal a big hunk of gold?
Chico: I'm ready.
Ramon: I'm hungry.
Danny: I'm drunk.
Lil': And I'm Lil Pete.
Herm: [unintelligible]
Tommy: Let's get that nugget then...

Danny: That is some mystical shit!