Top 50 Quotes From Max Guevera

Max: " think I'll call you Alec, as in Smart Alec.
X5: I can live with that.
Max: Good, cuz my second choice was Dick.

Max: Girls kick ass; says so on a t-shirt.

[Original Cindy and Max are playing Scrabble. Max is in heat, and Original Cindy says it's obvious because of the words Max is making in the game]
Original: Jus' look at the words!
Max: What?
Original: Hung?
Max: Like a noose around your neck!
Original: Prick?
Max: Like from a needle! YOU have a dirty mind.
Original: Yeah well what about this one? Which I'm not even gonna say cause I kiss my momma with this mouth!

Max: I'm not that high-minded. Lydecker's the one guy that knows what's going on in this freak show body of mine... Whether or not this bar code has an expiration date. I guess I couldn't let him die with that secret.
Logan: Whatever you have to tell yourself. Fact is, you saved a man's life.
Max: A bad man.

Max: Hey, Bruno...
Bruno: Oh. Oh, yes. I should have figured you for a little kinkster.Yeah, I'm game. Two people alone in a room for people just passing through, aren't we? It's me. It's you, looking hotter than you've ever looked. It's like deja freakin' vu, isn't it? Oh, that's not a turn-on! No,no. Ow!

[to Zack]
Max: Got a thing for dramatic entrances, huh?

Rafer: [Max is in heat and runs into Rafer] Hey. It's Max, right?
Max: [She looks at him dreamily, then realizes what she's doing and freaks out] Normal! I need to take a personal day!
[She goes into Normal's office and he's ironing his shirt in his tank. Max is mesmorized by him and before she realizes what she's doing she tries to maul him. Original Cindy comes and pries Max off Normal and punches her in the face]
Max: Thanks. I needed that.
Original: [to Normal] Max needs a day off.
Normal: Take a week.
Original: [as O.C. and Max leave] Damn girl. I didn't think your condition was that bad.

[first lines]
Alec: There you go, boss. One hot run delivered to Fifth and Maple in a timely and courteous fashion. By yours truly.
Reagan: That's my rock star
Max: Are you kidding me ? One package. That's it ? All day ?
Alec: Quality, not quantity, Max.
Cynthia: It's what all men tell themselves. Helps them sleep better at night.

[first lines]
Alec: Well, thanks for playing, it's always a pleasure. Who's next ? Anybody ? Sketchy, what do you say buddy ?
Calvin: No, man. I already owe you two paychecks.
Alec: I'll let you break.
Calvin: No, no, no.
Alec: I'll play left handed. You can blindfold me.
Calvin: Hehe, no man.
Alec: No, okay.
Max: Nobody likes a showoff, Alex.
Alec: Max. Fifty bucks and you get to humble your old buddy, Alec. What do you say?

Max: [Max is carrying Brain on her back, and he's a big guy, and he tells Max he turned himself into the police] You what? I'm dying because you turned yourself in on purpose?
Brain: I thought you were supposed to be strong.
Max: I'm not superwoman!

Max: Where are we gonna go? I can't stop anyone from leaving, but I'm through running and hiding and being afraid. I'm not going to live my life like that any more. Aren't you tired of living in darkness? Don't you want to feel the sun on your face? To have a place of your own where you can walk down the street without being afraid. They made us, and they trained us to be soldiers, to defend this country. It's time they face us and take responsibility, instead of trying to sweep us away like garbage. We were made in America and we're not going anywhere. So they call us 'freaks'. Who cares? Today I'm proud to be a freak. And today we're gonna make a stand right here. Who's with me?"

[first lines]
Max: Huh.
Joshua: Virus bitch going down ?
Max: I'm working on it.

[last lines]
Max: Wonder if Manticore cooked up any more of me ? One clone is plenty. Especially when she's got a nasty left hook. She was right about one thing though. Running away isn't the answer. 'Cos as messed up as everything's gotten lately, this is home.

Zack: You seem nervous.
Max: Compared to what? You don't even know me.
Zack: Maybe we knew each other in a past life.
Max: I don't believe in that stuff.
Zack: Doesn't mean it's not true.
Max: Oh, please tell me you're not one of those people: because a raindrop fell in the ocean 10,000 years ago... and a butterfly farted in India... you and I are sitting right here right now... enjoying a cup of coffee that tastes like goat piss.

Max: Go for Max.
Joshua: Little fella. Little fella, everything's gone sideways. It's-It's FUBAR. There be people screaming. And-And Gem is trying to keep her legs crossed so the baby won't pop out.

Max: Whats that?
Alec/X5: It's a hole in my body made by a bullet.
Max: Been there,done that. Check the news.

Max: [Brain and Max are on her motorcycle and Brain puts his hands on her chest to hold on] Brain?
Brain: Yeah.
Max: Watch the hands!
Brain: I'm just trying to hang on here.
Max: Hang on a little lower.
[Brain moves his hands down to low]
Max: Not that low!

Dochnovich: [to alec and max] All right, here are the rules. Well, there ain't no rules. Hitting below the belt's allowed... eye gouging's allowed...
Alec/X5: [while the announcer talks] Max, you don't want to fight me.
Max: Are you kidding? I've been waiting for this chance for months.
Alec/X5: Yeah, well, see, you're just a girl, and so -
[Max punches him]
Normal: Hey! She jumped the bell! What are you doing? She jumped the bell!
[the announcer quickly leaves the ring]
Dochnovich: [to the ring girl] Ring the bell! Will you ring the bell?
[She rings it]
Alec/X5: Should've known you'd cheat
[Max kicks Alec in the leg]
Max: That's for the virus.
Alec/X5: That was not my fault!
[She punches him]
Max: That's for trying to kill Joshua.
Alec/X5: I was just trying to protect my own...
[She punches him twice]
Max: And that's for getting paint all over my research papers
Alec/X5: Okay, yeah, that was my bad.
[Max punches Alec again]
Max: That's for making Joshua deliver your packages.
Alec/X5: Max, cut it out!
[She kicks and punches him]
Max: That's for losing my baseball. And this...
[Kicks Alec in the stomach]
Max: ... is for whatever stupid thing you do next.
Normal: Kick her ass!
Alec/X5: Okay. That's it.
[Max goes to kick Alec again, but he grabs her leg, punches her, and shoves her to the ground. Before she can get up, he kicks her. She lands near the edge of the ring, in front of Normal]
Normal: Oh, lovely!
[to Max]
Normal: You better be at work tomorrow, there, miss. Huh, pumpkin?
[Yelling, to Alec]
Normal: Kill the messenger!
[Max stands up. Alec smiles]
Alec/X5: My turn now, bitch
Max: What'd you just call me?
Alec/X5: [chuckling] You heard me. B-I-T-C...
Max: Oh, look at that. Ring girl just lost her top
Alec/X5: [not believing her] Yeah
[Despite his disbelief, Alec can't help glancing at the ring girl. She smiles at him, top intact. Max takes the opportunity to kick him in the groin]
Alec/X5: [the crowd groans. Eventually the women in the crowd cheer. Alec stops in his tracks, wide-eyed with pain. Max pushes him a little and he falls over]
Max: Oops. Sorry

Max: Logan, you've got nothing to be sorry for or ashamed of. It's never been about you not being able to walk. Not for me.
Logan: Will you look at us!
Max: Pathetic.
Logan: Hopeless.
Max: Lucky we hooked up.
Logan: Happy Anniversary.

[first lines]
Joshua: [scratching badly] Aaaah! Damned fleas.
[looking at flea bomb instructions]
Joshua: To first start, activate and then immediate leave the area.
Max: Did you set it off ?
Joshua: Yeh.
Max: Okay. Let's do the other two and then get out of here before these little buggers eat us alive. Hold your breath. Ready ? On three, one, two, three !

Max: You're such a gentleman, too bad I'm not a lady.

Max: I had to have radical emergency amateur brain surgery to remove a nanochip from my cerebellum before I stroked from a neurochemical overload."

Donald: It was the best of you that ran away that night.
Max: Yeah, well, we wanted to start a rock band.

Donald: This isn't as big a tragedy as you think it is.
Max: Whatever you have to tell yourself.

Max: [After she finds a rat on the counter] Mickey's cracked out cousin thinks he's setting up house in our crib.

Max: Guys are the weaker sex.

[first lines]
Max: What's up ?
Cynthia: Marina and little Sooky are having themselves an old fashioned throw-down.

Logan: You have good taste. French, 1920s, attributed to Chitarus.
Max: Whoever that is.
Logan: Oh. So... what, you liked it 'cause it was shiny?
Max: No, because it's the Egyptian goddess Bast, the goddess who comprehends all goddesses, eye of Ra, protector, avenger, destroyer, giver of life who lives forever.

Logan: I need a favor.
Max: You can keep this. I really don't have anyplace to put it.
Logan: I need you to do a little leg work for me. Joel Solinski. This guy's got a wife with three kids, an ex-wife with two kids, a mistress, and two girlfriends. The wives get houses, the mistress a condo, and everybody gets a car... all on a harbormaster's salary.
Max: I caught the tail end of your hack. The guy's on the take. He's paid to look the other way while the smugglers deep-six their cargo.
Logan: He's made a fortune... as an accessory to murder.
Max: Okay, so the guy's a beast. Doesn't mean I got to get involved.
Logan: You are involved. By being alive, you're involved.
Max: I got my own problems.
Logan: Look... maybe we got screwed out of living in a time when we could hang out for the afternoon in a cafe someplace wearing $2,000 wristwatches, planning our next vacation, but the world got a whole lot meaner all of a sudden. It wasn't supposed to... but it did. So now it's back to the law of the jungle and there are predators and victims.
Max: And you still think you can do something to change that?
Logan: With your help.
Max: Look, one thing I'm not is a chump. You want to get the rest of your ass shot off... be my guest, but I kind of like being able to walk.
Logan: On another matter... federal corrections used to keep records on distinguishing marks... scars, tattoos. I did a search and came up with this. ID-ed as a Michael Hanover. Booked for armed robbery nine years ago. He escaped custody after four hours. Hasn't been seen or heard from since.
Max: Zack...
Max: [voiceover] I knew it. I always knew Zack was out there somewhere, but you know, just my luck this guy Logan had to be the one to find him. Now he figures I'm going to go and do the right thing because I owe him... like I even care.

[Ben's last moments]
Max: Tell me about the good place.
Ben: Where no one ever gets punished?
Max: And no one gets yelled at.
Ben: And nobody disappears.

[last lines]
Max: Hey.
Alec: Hey Max.
Max: Listen, if you ever want to talk...
Alec: About what ?
Max: About anything.
Alec: Now, why would I want to do that ?
Max: Just consider the offer open.
Alec: Alright. Listen. Thanks for saving my ass.
Max: You're all right ?
Alec: I'm always all right.

Original: He's from Manticore, huh? Say what you want - they sure know how to make 'em pretty.
Max: Try spending an afternoon with him. He'll drive you crazy with his laughing, and his talking, and his breathing...
Original: Sugar, you got issues.

[last lines]
Logan: I love you, Max.
Max: I love you, too.

Max: Ready?
X5: I'm always ready.
Biggs: Funny that's what Lola said.

Max: Nice haircut.
Logan: Nice gunshot wound.

Max: Are you sure about all this? Pierpont Lemkin and the Taliban after some Star Wars widget in a robotic arm somewhere? Next thing you're gonna tell me aliens are involved.
Logan: Wouldn't rule it out.

Normal: Well, well, well... so far, your moron colleagues have come up with the following excuses for why you're strolling in here at the crack of noon - you had a dental emergency, your aunt died... again, and my personal favorite from this idiot - you were detained by the sector police for practicing witchcraft. Now, would you care to further insult my intelligence?
Max: I overslept.

Max: [Max is carrying Brain on her back, and he's a heavy load. Then he informs her that he turned himself in to the police on purpose] You what? I'm dying because you turned youself in on purpose!
Brain: I thought you were supposed to be strong.
Max: I'm not Superwoman!

Max: i'll take him on
AA: ladies and gentleman we have a new challenger
Alec: what the hell are you doing?
Max: I told you to take a dive. Now i'm gonna have to beat your ass myself.
Alec: what do you have against me making money?
AA: [To Max] What's your name cupcake?
Alec: She doesn't have a name. You know what? she's not here. she's not fighting.
Max: Oh, yes i am
AA: Ladies, and Gentlemen, in this corner, hailing from parts unknown, let's hear it for the curvaceous killer

Max: [while riding on Max's motorcycle, Brain puts his hands on Max's chest] Brain.
Brain: Yeah?
Max: Watch the hands!
Brain: I'm just trying to hang on here.
Max: Hang on a little lower.
[Brain moves his hands really low]
Max: Not that low!

Max: They screwed this whole thing upon purpose to escalate the situation.
Alec/X5: Yeah, well it worked.

Max: Guess we're just gonna have to get their attention, then.
Alec: Please tell me you're gonna get naked.

Original: Damn girl, what's in those pills?
Max: Spinach.

Original: [There is a rat on the counter and Max yells out] What's wrong?
Max: Mickey's cracked out cousin thinks he's settin' up house in our crib.

[first lines]
Logan: Appreciate you doing this for me, Max. You almost ready ?
Max: Ahuh.
Logan: Fat Tony and his crew always show up at the 49 Club by 9. Get there late and you risk them already hooking up with there comadas ?
Max: A what ?

Max: What the mind can conceive, the body can achieve.

Logan: In case you haven't caught on by now, this girl's gonna do what she's gonna do no matter what you or anyone else says, so you've got two choices: back off or pitch in.
Max: What he said.

[last lines]
Max: Can't really be mad at her. I mean, you got your guy.
Logan: And she got hers. Shall we ?
Max: May as well.
[walking away]
Logan: So I hear you're a rocking awesome chick.
Max: And you're a beautiful talented man.
Logan: That's right.

Max: What's that?
Alec/X5: It's a hole in my body made by a bullet.
Max: Been there, done that. Check the news.

Max: I can't believe you brought him back with you.
Brin: [raises right arm] I didn't bring him back.
Max: [raises left arm] Then why is he back?
Brin: [with opposite hands pressed together in the air] He never left.