30 Best Michael T. Weiss Quotes

Jarod: Trust in the Force, young Jedi. I saw your laser disk last night.

[Miss: 44 a.m., waking her up]
Miss: What?
Jarod: Oh, I intentially wake you in your deepest sleep phase and all I get is a lifeless 'what'?

Jarod: Tell me who I am.
Sydney: I don't know either. At the time, I had on reason to question what the Centre told me. I swear.
Jarod: Then prove it. Give me tomorrow's code to the Centre's mainframe. The truth about who I am has to be in there.
Sydney: You know I can't do that.
Jarod: Sydney, you stole my life! Please give it back to me.

Miss: [phone rings] What?
Jarod: Well, well, well, long time no see. And how's life treating you?
Miss: Like he caught me in bed with his wife.

Tom: You up for a dogfight?
Jarod: Me? I was born for this moment.

Sandi: Are you telling me you've never been to a strip club before? You know, strange men cramming sweaty wads of cash into strange women's panties?
Jarod: I think I would remember THAT.

Nia: And before the Rangers?
Jarod: A test pilot, Thoracic Surgeon, Lt. Commander on a destroyer... the usual. And what did you do before you became an outfitter?
Nia: Astronaut, Olympic skater, Nobel Prize winner... the usual.

Dr. Jason Earl: Jarod, why don't you tell the group what brought you here?
Jarod: A large cop with bad breath.

[on the phone]
Jarod: I killed a man today, Sydney. I killed him as if I'd pulled the trigger myself.
Sydney: Jarod...
Jarod: Simulation 2578. You told me it was a rescue scenario. And then I see it used in the killing of a federal agent and the abduction of an innocent woman.
Miss: The Centre is not in the abduction business.
Jarod: Well, you tell that to Emma Barrett. It's Lyle, isn't it?
Miss: What are you talking about?
Jarod: I'm talking about lies. I'm talking about how innocent people have died because of the way you use my simulations. You used me! Well, no one is going to die anymore. If it's a war the Centre wants, it's what you will get. But I promise you, Emma Barrett will not be the next casualty.

Jarod: Listen, these people, this organization, they will kill you. Trust me.
Argyle: Trust you? No, you listen to me. Trust. Trust. Great word, right? Trust. It's on every coin, every bill, every buck, and every bond in this country and yet it is still the one thing that you cannot buy.

Jarod: You're a garbage man?
Axe: "Sanitation Engineer."

Broots: [to Sydney who's on the phone with Jarod] Keep talkin' to him, we almost got him!
Jarod: [Jarod flips a switch to turn on a high pitched noise and force Broots off the tracking] Tell Broots I discovered Radio Shack.

Isaak: How long have you been a lawyer?
Jarod: About 7 minutes.

Jarod: I want to know who I am. And I'd rather die trying to find out than live not knowing.

Jarod: Topless?
Sandi: What? You've never been in a strip joint before? Naked women swinging around metal poles, strange men cramming sweaty wads of money into strange women's panties?
Jarod: I would remember something like that...

Jarod: Karma. Ain't it a bitch?

Mrs. Nikkos,: Are you a doctor?
Jarod: I am today.

Jarod: [after asking the foreman about the sulfuric chloride] One more question.
Foreman: Shoot.
Jarod: Valentine's Day. Specifically cupid.
Foreman: Yeah.
Jarod: A corpulent infant, who happens to be an archer, goes around shooting arrows into people and suddenly they're in love?
Foreman: That's about it.
Jarod: And to show that they love, people buy each other chocolate and other sweets? Do they want to be fat, like the infant?

Claire: The superior mind always has a way out: a tiny little door marked 'exit.'
Jarod: Well maybe it's time to run for it.

Jarod: You make the rules.
Miss: That's just the way I like it.

Jarod: Who am I? Did the Centre adopt me? Was I bought or was I stolen? And where are my mom and dad?
Sydney: Jarod, we've been over this a thousand times. Your parents died in a plane crash.
Jarod: Yes, I know the story, Sydney. It's been burned into my brain for thirty years. But, you see, I did a little checking. There's this genetic anomaly that's in my blood that should be in my supposed parents. But it's not. Therefore, it's impossible that I'm their son. So, the truth, for once.

Jarod: Is that pig wearing a baseball cap?

Jarod: Trust your inner sense, Miss Parker. I do.

Jarod: I want each of you to understand that there is only one unforgivable sin in my class. I will not, under any circumstance, tolerate any disrespect for these cadavers. Underneath each of these plastic sheets lies a human being. Many of these bodies, they come to us unknown and unclaimed, which means that they died alone and afraid. With no friends, no homes. Forgotten by their families and thrown away by society. Therefore, they will not be disrespected in this classroom.

Dr. Goetz: What is your name?
Jarod: Jarod.
Dr. Goetz: And your last name?
Jarod: I don't know. It changes every week...

Etrigan the Demon: [screaming, shifting between demon and human forms] The gates of Tartarus swing both ways! AARGH! The balance towards chaos!

Jarod: Get back to me, Sydney. I'm running late.
Sydney: For what?
Jarod: Justice.

Kimberly: Didn't you ever eat cookies as a kid?
Jarod: They didn't have cookies where I grew up.
Kimberly: Where'd you grow up? Mars?
Jarod: Sort of.

Kyle: [as he is dying in Jarod's arms] I'm sorry, Jarod.
Jarod: For what?
Kyle: For everything.
[Kyle's hand slips out of Jarod's and he dies]

Miss: Why did you save my life?
Jarod: Because I still remember the little girl who gave me my first kiss.