30 Best Miss Parker Quotes

Broots: Miss Parker!
[hugs Miss Parker]
Miss: Do you want me to hurt you?

Sydney: [laughing] Here I am, trying to comfort you.
Miss: [looking hurt] As if anything you could ever do would give me comfort?
Sydney: [quickly sobers] It did once.

Miss: I want to kill her not screw her.

Freighter: Ma'm the materials on board are highly explosive!
Miss: So am I.

Sydney: The Centre wants him alive.
Miss: Preferably.

Sydney: You believe someone stole your mother's body?
Miss: Except for this Scotch-induced earthquake rattling between my ears, I'm not sure exactly what to believe anymore.
Broots: Let's face it, Sydney. Catherine Parker's body being gone fits in with all the other bizarre happenings around here. The reappearance of Edna Raines, who, after 30 years, everyone thought was dead...
Miss: And now who really is dead, thanks to the Bald Butcher she called hubby.

Miss: [about borrowing Angelo from Mr Raines] Uncle Fester will never know his Lurch is missing.

Miss: [to Jarod, after he meets her face-to-face] You've got quite a set, showing up here.

Jarod: You make the rules.
Miss: That's just the way I like it.

Miss: Since when do you hate to fly?
Broots: I don't hate to fly. I hate to barf.

Miss: Score one for Captain Kangaroo.

Miss: Jarod will take the use of his simulation as a personal attack.
Mr. Lyle: That sounds like a threat.
Sydney: To involve Jarod as an accessory to murder and kidnapping, that is asking for retribution the likes of which you can't even imagine.
Mr. Lyle: I'll take that under advisement.

Giuseppe: So full of anger!
Miss: That's my religion.

Miss: Broots may be an idiot, but he's my idiot. I'm the only one who gets to terrorize him.

Miss: [phone rings] What?
Jarod: Well, well, well, long time no see. And how's life treating you?
Miss: Like he caught me in bed with his wife.

Miss: Make up your mind, Sydney. Be a scientist or a mommy. You can't be both.

Sydney: Good morning, Miss Parker. Broots.
Broots: Sydney.
Miss: You're looking... refreshed.
Sydney: New underpants will do that to you.
[Miss Parker and Broots look at each other silently]
Miss: Sydney, you made a funny.
Sydney: Stole it, I'm afraid. Last night, I went on a date.
Broots: You had a date!
Miss: [to Broots] That's when two people actually meet instead of typing to each other on a computer keyboard.
[to Sydney]
Miss: So, if it was a date, how can you be sure that those are *your* underpants?

[to Broots' daughter Debbie]
Miss: These are the house rules: no running, no playing, no feet on the furniture, and no noise, which includes crying and whining. Be invisible and we'll get along just fine.

Broots: Have you ever gone to church?
Miss: With all I've seen and done, a church is the last place I should be.
Broots: Or the first.

Sydney: How do you think he will hold up?
Miss: Before or after he wets his pants?

Sydney: How come you know so much about Greek lore?
Miss: I did a lot of frat boys in college.

[Miss: 44 a.m., waking her up]
Miss: What?
Jarod: Oh, I intentially wake you in your deepest sleep phase and all I get is a lifeless 'what'?

Mr. Lyle: The powers are tired of the way things have been run. Tired of the inefficiency. Angry that Jarod's still out there.
Brigitte: I don't understand why it's so hard to capture one man.
Miss: Jarod's not just a man. He's a Pretender. A human chameleon. A genius who can literally become anyone that he wants to be.

Miss: You shouldn't underestimate Jarod. And you should never underestimate me. And the next time that you send me into a building that is gonna explode, it had better blow, because if it doesn't it's gonna be your gray matter they will be mopping up with a toothbrush.

Broots: Mrs. Parker thats a wall!
Miss: Yeah, and this is a rental.

Catherine: Trust can kill you or set you free.

Miss: Maybe I should send you to every Y.M.C.A. in the country first. Or lock you in the Bates Motel with Sydney and Broots.
Jarod: This is about that strip search in Las Vegas, isn't it?

Miss: Why did you save my life?
Jarod: Because I still remember the little girl who gave me my first kiss.

Miss: [Referring to her nicotine patch] The only way this thing is gonna help me is if I roll it and smoke it.

Broots: You know the rumor that JFK was kept alive as a vegetable somewhere? Buzzie claims it was right here in SL-18.
Miss: Yeah, next to the alien corpses Nixon showed Jackie Gleason.
Broots: That was here too?