Top 100 Quotes From Mr. Lawrence

[Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob are going on a luxury cruise together, and Mr. Krabs is taking the secret formula with him for safety, which frustrates Plankton]
Plankton: Karen, we are going on a luxury cruise!
Karen: A cruise, just the two of us? Oh, Plankton!
[She cries out of joy but soon stops]
Karen: Hey, if this is another scheme to steal the secret formula, you can leave me home!
Plankton: No, of course not! Just think of it as our second honeymoon.
Karen: Don't you have to have a first honeymoon before you embark on a second?
Plankton: Why don't I bump those vacation settings up a smidge?
[Plankton turns up a vacation dial on Karen's settings]
Karen: Oh, Plankton, this second honeymoon is gonna be so great!
Plankton: [pulling out a big suitcase] Yeah, it's going to be groovy, babe. Now a quick check of the vacation inventory. Suntan lotion, sunglass, death laser...
Karen: Got it!
[fires the death laser, splitting Plankton's suitcase in half]
Karen: Did you see the pretty laser, honey?
Plankton: See it? It almost split me in half!
Karen: Whoops, sorry! I'm just so excited about our cruise!
[she raves about the cruise while Plankton turns down the vacation dial]
Plankton: Gotta rethink that vacation algorithm when we get back.

Sheldon J. Plankton: I see you... ZAP!
[shoots a laser from his eye]

Plankton: [poking SpongeBob to make him stop saying "Soiled it"] Where's the off button on this thing?

Mr. Krabs: You lose again, Plankton.
Plankton: I'm not giving up yet, Krabs. I've still got my secret weapon. The thermostat!
Mr. Krabs: [gasps] The thermostat!
Plankton: That's right, Krabs. It was I who froze the Krusty Krab.
[removes the sticker reading 62 from the thermostat display, revealing it to really be -15 degrees]
Plankton: See?
Mr. Krabs: [gasps] You've gone too far, Plankton! You can pound me employees, try to destroy me restaurant, but nobody messes with me thermostat!

Sheldon J. Plankton: I want you to close your eyes. Tighter. Tighter.
[SpongeBob's eyelids rip apart]
Sheldon J. Plankton: Too tight! Now, what do you see?
SpongeBob: I see... giant Krabby Patties!
Sheldon J. Plankton: Good! Now, what are they made of?
SpongeBob: Hatred!
Sheldon J. Plankton: No, ingredients! What are the stinking ingredients?
SpongeBob: They're coming for me! No! No! No! Stay back!
Sheldon J. Plankton: Wait, where did you get that piano?
[SpongeBob hits Plankton with piano]

Patrick: What's the number before one?
Plankton: Zero.
Patrick: Yeah! Congratulations, you got zero customers!

Male: Hey, wait a minute! Aren't you the same guy who was giving away those rotten chum samples before?
Plankton: Oh, that wasn't me. That was... uh... my... brother-in-law! Yeah, er, Flankton!
Male: Oh, okay.

Plankton: Hear me, Krabs. When I discover the formula for Krabby Patties, I'll run you out of business. I went to college!

Plankton: That's It Mister! You've just lost your brain privileges!

Plankton: It's just business. Well, maybe it is a little personal. I'm touching your thermostat! I'm touching your thermostat!

Fred: MY HEAD AND TORSO! Wow, that's crazy. They hit me everywhere except MY LEGS!

Mr. Krabs: Win this for the Krusty Krab.
SpongeBob: [running] For the Krusty Krab!
Plankton: Win this one because I told you to.
Patrick: [running] Because you told me to!

SpongeBob: I think I'll just ask you two a couple of questions. Questions only the real Mr. Krabs could answer.
Mr. Krabs: Okay then.
SpongeBob: First question: what time does the Krusty Krab open?
Plankton: 9:30 AM.
SpongeBob: Right! That's one strike, Mr. Fake.
Mr. Krabs: But...
SpongeBob: Uh-uh! I'm running this quiz show, I'll ask the questions. If there's gonna be any "buts", they're gonna be from me. OK, question number two: How much does a Krabby Patty cost?
Mr. Krabs: $2.99!
SpongeBob: ...on Wednesday.
Plankton: 99 cents.
SpongeBob: Right again! You're starting to look pretty phony right about now. I'd be nervous if I were you. Now, only the really real Mr. Krabs could answer this: if we're discussing the secret formula on the third Wednesday in January and it's not raining outside after we've gargled with vanilla pudding, what do we do?
Mr. Krabs: That's an easy one! Let's see, if it's January, with vanilla pudding, we... uh, pass?

SpongeBob: Mega Bucket? You've used me for land development! That wasn't nice!
Plankton: Haven't you heard SpongeBob? Nice guys finish last. Only aggressive people conquer the world!
[laughs evilly]

Squidward: SpongeBob do you remember that talk we had about personal space?
SpongeBob: It's okay Squidward i'm official look!
Squidward: Co-Cashier?
Plankton: So have you two known each other long?
Squidward: You can't do this to me Mr. Plankton! If you think i'm gonna stand out there all day listening to...
SpongeBob: Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.
Squidward: Then you must have coral wasted in your frontal lobe!
Plankton: So what do you want me to do about it?
Squidward: I'd like my view to be a little less yellow if you know what i mean.
Plankton: Hope you like grey.
SpongeBob: Hey Squidward, i can see you though this little window.

Plankton: Alone, we are powerless, but together, the Plankton family can be a real pain in the fanny. Maybe Krabs can handle one Plankton, but let's see him take on two, or ten, or a hundred, or a thousand!

Plankton: What?
[SpongeBob blows a raspberry at him]

Clerk: Next? Pbth!
SpongeBob: Finally! I'm next! When's the next bus to Bikini Bottom?
Clerk: What?
SpongeBob: The bus schedule, the next bus?
Clerk: I can't - Pbth! - understand - Pbth! - your accent.
SpongeBob: The next - Pbth! bus - Pbth! - to Bikini - Pbth! - Bottom - Pbththth!
Clerk: Oh - Pbth! Why didn't you say so? Pbth! Next bus leaves in - Pbth! - five seconds.
[Bus leaves]
Clerk: Oh, tough break, kid. Pbth! That's the last one 'till morning. Pbth!
SpongeBob: Oh - Pbth! no -Pbth! - you don't! Pbth!
Clerk: Good night! Pbth!
SpongeBob: You get back here! Pbth! I'm not through here! Pbth! I demand that you come back here and get me a bus to Bikini Bottom! Until then, I'm not leaving this spot! Pbth! Pbth! Pbththth!

Customer: Hey, I just got my license.
SpongeBob: Hey, I'm getting mine next.
Customer: Hey, I doubt it.

Plankton: SpongeBob, you missed your chance. You've got to be aggressive to get the things you want. You're too soft.
SpongeBob: But I'm a spon...
Plankton: Don't say it!

Karen: [after winning the fight with Karen 2] No one runs down my man. Planky, say something...
Plankton: Take me home, baby...
Karen: [succumbing to her wounds] Even though you are a tiny green loser, I could never stay... mad... at... you.
[Her screen turns off, and she falls to the ground, seemingly deceased]
Plankton: [mourning his lost wife] Karen! Don't you leave me, Karen. Not again!
[he opens up Karen 2.0's compartment, takes her battery out and places it in Karen's compartment, hoping to revive her]
Plankton: I hope this works... Oh, Karen, please wake up! I promise never to take you for granted again!
Karen: [Karen's screen shows a spinning hourglass, and then changes to her speaking line, she has come around] What happened?
Plankton: I had a reality check, that's what happened.

Sheldon J. Plankton: Peekaboo. Here comes my foot!
[steps on both SpongeBob and Gary]
Sheldon J. Plankton: Yeah! Huh? YEOW!
[SpongeBob has turned into a thumbtack]
SpongeBob: I think he's got the point.
[he laughs]
Sheldon J. Plankton: NO!
[as he screams, he shrinks back down to normal size bringing attention to the townspeople he's burnt]
Sheldon J. Plankton: Well, i guess I got some explaining to do, huh?
[Fred puts his foot up]
Sheldon J. Plankton: No, no, no, no, NOT THE FACE!

SpongeBob: [scrubbing the floor while singing] Scrub a-dub-dub, I love to rub
[Plankton rolls over in his robot suit of Mr. Krabs]
SpongeBob: Oh, hey Mr. Krabs just doing a little scrubbing
Plankton: Hello, SpongeBob, it is me, Mr. Krabs.
[smoke comes out of the exhaust pipe]
Plankton: In the flesh.
[exhaust pipe smokes again]
Plankton: Standing right in front of you.
[pipe smokes again]
Plankton: With no one else around.
SpongeBob: I can see that Mr. Krabs
Plankton: I thought we might discuss the Krabby Patty secret formula.
[a microphone comes out of the Robot Krabs]
SpongeBob: [points at it] Isn't that a microphone?
Plankton: What? Why, yes it is.
[puts the microphone back inside his body]
Plankton: I must get this shirt cleaned. Alright, now tell me the secret formula.
SpongeBob: But, sir, we haven't done the secret handshake yet.
Plankton: [offers the suit's hand] Oh yes. Here, let's shake.
SpongeBob: [laughs] We don't shake with our hands, remember?
Plankton: Uh, right, why don't you start?
SpongeBob: We stand on one foot. Balance a glass of chocolate milk on our heads and sing the Bikini Bottom National Anthem.
SpongeBob: [singing] Oh, Bikini Bottom, we pledge our hearts to you, as faithful, as deep, as true, as blue, Bikini Bottom, we love you!

Larry the Lobster: [after saving Patrick and SpongeBob from drowning in the shallow end] SpongeBob?
SpongeBob: Yes, Larry?
Larry the Lobster: You're not a lifeguard, are you?
SpongeBob: No, Larry.

SpongeBob: You used me... for land development! That wasn't nice.
Plankton: Haven't you figured it out, SpongeBob? Nice guys finish last. Only aggressive people conquer the world. Ha ha ha ha!
SpongeBob: Well... what about aggressively nice people?

[in a robotic Mr. Krabs]
Computer: Coin-operated self-destruct sequence activated. Five seconds till detonation.
Plankton: Coin-operated Self-destruct, not one of my better ideas.

Male: Ah, darn it! Now there's a line!
Plankton: [pops back up from getting run over and shakes his fist] Watch where you're goin', old man! This is the second time!
Male: I'm too old to wait in lines!
[reverses his car and runs Plankton over again]
Plankton: [tries to raise a Chum Nugget] Chum Nuggets. Get 'em before... my arm falls off.

Customer: Another one? Look, I told your little friend I ain't paying for that!
Squidward: Well, this one's on the house!
[He shoves pizza in the customer's face]
SpongeBob: Did he change his mind?
Squidward: He sure did. Ate the whole thing in one bite.

Plankton: You may win this time. Shee-ha-kazing!
[tries to disappear but instead explodes all over himself]
Plankton: Well, this stinks.

[inside the Chum Bucket]
SpongeBob: There's no one here.
Plankton: Don't remind me.

SpongeBob: Ever alert, Mermaid Man has trained himself to sleep with his eyes open.
Barnacle: Confound it! Get away from 'im!
Mermaid: Stop shoutin'! I'm nappin'!
Barnacle: It's not me, you old coot!
Old: Yeah.
Old: That's me.
Old: I'm over here.

SpongeBob: Would you like to buy some chocolate?
Chocolate: Chocolate? Did you say... chocolate?
Patrick: Yes, with or without nuts.
Chocolate: Chocolate? CHOCOLATE? CHOCOLATE! CHOCOLATE!
[SpongeBob and Patrick run away]

Sheldon J. Plankton: [dreaming he is a giant, destroying Bikini Bottom] Oh, look, it's the Krusty Krab, home of the Krabby Patty.
[steps on it]
Sheldon J. Plankton: Crush!
[takes the sign and walks off, licking it]
Sheldon J. Plankton: Lick, lick...

Fred: Thank you, SpongeBob. If it wasn't for you, I never would have made it back to my angel goddess.
SpongeBob: Oh, don't thank me, Fred. YOUR LEG did all the heavy lifting.

Plankton: You could say we're friends, right?
SpongeBob: Um, no.
Plankton: Acquaintences?
SpongeBob: No.
Plankton: Well, we're both invertebrates, right?
SpongeBob: I guess so.
Plankton: You see? Everything works out. I have something for you. I've been keeping it in my secret compartment.
[Reaches behind his back and pulls out a spatula]
Plankton: Ching! Sparkle sparkle!
SpongeBob: Wow! A golden spatula! It's even got my name on it.
Plankton: It's a gift. A gift from a friend. Friends give each other gifts. And tomorrow's my birhtday. And do you know what I like more than anything in the whole world?
SpongeBob: A booster seat?
Plankton: Booster seat? Hot dog!... I mean, no. What I want for my birthday from you, my friend is one of those tender... delicious... mouth-watering... Krabby Patties.
SpongeBob: [Gasp] You just want to be friends so you can get your hands on the Krabby Patty. And I bet it's not even your birhtday tomorrow.
Plankton: Gee, and I thought you were stupid.
SpongeBob: You'll never get a Krabby Patty from me. Even if we are friends. Never! Never! Never! Never!
Plankton: Oh, I'll get a Krabby Patty. And you're gonna hand-deliver it to me personally. You weak minded fool!
[Plays omninous music on his record player]
Plankton: Ha-ha-ha-ha!

Plankton: [yells] Lady, someone should put you in a box to drift in the river!
Elderly: [pauses, sadly] ... you're right.

SpongeBob,19073: [exiting SpongeBobs nightmare] No! no! No!
[Squidward talking in the real world]
SpongeBob,19073: SpongeBob. SpongeBob! SpongeBob!
[taps on his face to wake him up]
SpongeBob,19073: Ahhhhhhhhhh!
SpongeBob: [wakes up to find Mr. Krabs, Pearl, Sandy, Gary, and Squidward staring at and all of them are mad] Hey what what are you guys doing in your pajamas? Are we having a slumber party?
Squidward: No we are not having a slumber party!
Sandy: Do us all a favor SpongeBob and stay out of our dreams!
[everyone starts grumbling in agreement with Gary meowing angrily]
Mr. Krabs: [under all the grumbling] You Ruined My Dream Boy!
Sheldon J. Plankton: [joins the argument under the grumbling] You ruined my dream too! Why Don't You Take a Hike!
Squidward: Don't we get enough of you during the day?
Gary: Meow!
Patrick: [enters] Does anyone have a quarter?

SpongeBob: Karen?

Patrick: I think I hurt my leg.
SpongeBob: Your what?
Patrick: MY LEG!

SpongeBob: I think you're a winner.
Plankton: [sobbing] What did you say?
SpongeBob: I said I think you're a...
Chorus: Loser!

SpongeBob: [after waking up from a bad dream] Ah!
[sees everyone hovering over his bed, all looking quite irritable with him]
SpongeBob: Hey, what are you all doing in your pajamas? Are we having a slumber party?
Squidward: No, we are not having a slumber party!
Sandy: Do us all a favor, SpongeBob, and stay out of our dreams!
[everyone grumbles in agreement]
Sheldon J. Plankton: Take a hike!
Squidward: Don't we get enough of you during the day?
Gary: Meow!
Patrick: Does anybody have a quarter?
[everyone stares at Patrick]

[Plankton has SpongeBob in his power and is about to make him drop a Krabby Patty into his analyzer]
Plankton: This little piggy brought home a Krabby Patty, and this little piggy will help me drop it in. Any last words, SpongeBob SecretPants?
SpongeBob: I just have to say, I'm sorry I let Mr. Krabbs down. I let all of Bikini Bottom down. But most of all, I let you down, you delicate little Krabby Patty.
Plankton: Hmmm.
SpongeBob: I'll never forget your delicious, juicy, scrumptious, steamy goodness.
Plankton: Steamy!
SpongeBob: Made with 100% all-natural secret ingredients, secretly assembled with undersea cheese, bacon, lettuce, tomato, onions, all nestled together between two seaweed seed buns.
Plankton: Yes. Yes! *Yes!* Come to papa!
[He jumps at the patty, but bounces off and falls into the analyzer]
Plankton: Oh, boy.
[zap!]
Karen: Plankton: 1% evil, 99% hot gas.
Plankton: [Appears on the computer monitor] Well, this stinks.

Mr. Krabs: What's that smell in the air? I smell Plankton!
Plankton: [Puts on fake nose] Oh, yeah? Well, I smell... Phew, he's right.

News: [offscreen] And now, absolute silence.

Plankton: SpongeBob, don't let that guy sit on you. Assertiveness lesson number one: tell that guy to get off.
SpongeBob: Excuse me. You're sitting on my body, which is also my face.
Plankton: No, no! Be assertive!
SpongeBob: [sticks his finger on the guy's pocket] Beep-beep.
Plankton: Not insertive!

[as punishment for swearing in Mama Krabs' presence, Spongebob, Patrick and Mr. Krabs are put to work painting Mama Krabs' house for her]
Mama: I guess you scallywags have earned a glass of lemonade.
[laughs, then stubs her foot on a rock]
Mama: YEOW! My
[Klaxon horn]
Mama: foot!
[everyone gasps in shock]
Mr. Krabs: Mother!
Mama: What? It's Old Man Jenkins and his jalopy.
Old: [driving by] Howdy, Mrs. K!
[honks horn]
Old: [everyone laughs]

Plankton: Victory, thy name is Plankton!
[He turns around, revealing a paper taped to his back which says "Sheldon"]

[Plankton is posing as a psychiatrist]
SpongeBob: You're a lot smaller than I thought, doctor. But then, I guess that's why they call you shrink. Do you think there's still hope for me?
Sheldon J. Plankton: Hope? Hope? When I get my hands on that formula, there won't be any hope for any of ya!
[Sinister laugh]
Sheldon J. Plankton: I mean, you'll be cured in no time.

SpongeBob: I'm every bit as good as Larry, and if I'm not, then may I be struck by...
[rumble of thunder]
SpongeBob: ... a flying ice cream truck.
[a shadow forms over SpongeBob; chimes play]
SpongeBob: And live!
[the flying ice cream truck stops short of crushing Spongebob]
Larry the Lobster: [on megaphone] Please do not land flying ice cream trucks on the bathers.

Plankton: Me too, hey you know what would really hit the spot? Why don't you whip up a couple of Krabby Patties.

Plankton: Now, I'll be able to get a Krabby Patty the simplest way possible-by ordering one.
[he cackles and clears his throat, then tries to place an order]
Plankton: Um, I would like to order one Krabby Patty, please. Uh, extremely secret formula.
[he notices he's too small to be heard]
Plankton: Hello? Is this stupid thing on?
Mr. Krabs: Mr. Squidward, any customers?
Squidward: None that I can hear.
Mr. Krabs: [looks out the window] Oh, here comes one now.
Plankton: [he tries to redirect the oncoming customer] Hey! Hey! Go around! Go around!
[he gets run over and screams]
Male: [talks into the drive-thru megaphone] A large Krabby Patty with fries, please.
Squidward: With fries. Got it. We'll have that right out to ya, sir.
Male: What? You're closed! Now she tells me!
[drives off]
Squidward: [hands a bag out the window] There you are, sir. The ketchup's in the-
[he notices there's no-one there]
Squidward: Did somebody order a Krabby Patty?
[Plankton raises his hand]
Squidward: Nobody, huh? Okay, I'll just toss it in the trash.

Plankton: [yells] Lady, someone should put you in a box to drift in the river!
Elderly: [pauses, sadly] ... you're right.

Monty P. Moneybags: Who's responsible for this?
Squidward: [angrily] From now on, it's his responsibility!
[puts his artist's hat onto the janitor]
Squidward: Good day to you, sirs!
[storms off]
Monty P. Moneybags: [to the janitor] You, sir, are the greatest artist who ever lived!

[SpongeBob and Patrick are at a wrestling match on top of a giant hamburger, preparing for a fight]
News: It's not over yet! With the score tied, we go to our final event! Bun wrestling. Who will take home the gold? Mr. Krabs of the Krusty Krab?
Mr. Krabs: [to SpongeBob, referring to Patrick] Don't forget, he called you yellow.
[Spongebob picks up a metal chain and bites off and chews up the middle of it. He bares his teeth, revealing the metal chain to now be attached to them like braces]
News: Or Plankton of the Chum Bucket?
Plankton: [to Patrick, referring to SpongeBob] Don't forget, he called you pink!

Mr. Krabs: Look at him suffer! Ha ha ha ha!
News: We interrupt your laughter at other people's expense to bring you this news flash!

Plankton: Why don't we just destroy him and get it over with?
Squidward: Here, here.
Patrick: You leave my best friend alone!
Plankton,19073: It was just a suggestion!

Plankton: I'll never get the formula with Krabs popping in and out like that. I've got it! I've been saving this for a rainy day.
[holds up a penny]
Plankton: It looks like an ordinary penny, because it *is* an ordinary penny! That fool Krabs is too greedy to resist you, my little pretty.

Plankton: Just look at him. Square. The shape of evil.

Plankton: Your last chance, Krabs. I can still drop the suit if you give me the formula.
Mr. Krabs: [Points at Plankton] Never!
Plankton: Ow, my wittle arm!
[Crowd gasps]
Mr. Krabs: No! I didn't even touch him!
Plankton: Ow, my other arm!

[Plankton is sitting around, watching a hamster run in an exercise wheel on Karen's screen]
Plankton: Eh, that's the life.
[suddenly, the screen changes to Karen herself]
Karen: Plankton!
Plankton: Hey, I was watching that!
Karen: And I'm tired of watching you sit around all day. Admit it, the Chum Bucket is a total failure.
Plankton: It is not! Business is just slow.

Plankton: What's the deal Karen?
Karen: The deal was that i paid Nat to eat your chum so you'd quit your constant complaining.
Plankton: All this time i never had one regular costumer?
Karen: Duh.

Monty P. Moneybags: You shall be immortal!

Chocolate: [shouting] CHOCOLATE!
SpongeBob: No! No! Noooo!
Chocolate: AHAHAHA! FINALLY! I've been trying to catch you boys all day! Now that I've got you right where I want you...
Chocolate: [normal voice, holding up a pile of cash] I'd like to buy all your chocolate.
SpongeBob: [chocolate falls out of Patrick's pants and he and SpongeBob melt] Thank you for your patronage.

Squidward: Between you and me, this isn't my best work. Why don't you come back tomorrow and I'll have something that will really knock your socks off?
Monty P. Moneybags: Between you and me, I'm not wearing socks!
[begins laughing]

Sheldon J. Plankton: I'm going to say a word, and I want you to say the first thing that pops into your little head.
SpongeBob: I'm ready!
Sheldon J. Plankton: Work.
SpongeBob: Work.
Sheldon J. Plankton: Spatula.
SpongeBob: Spatula.
Sheldon J. Plankton: Bun.
SpongeBob: Bun.
Sheldon J. Plankton: See, the key is to say something different than what I say.
SpongeBob: Oh, I get it.
Sheldon J. Plankton: Potato.
SpongeBob: Potahto.
Sheldon J. Plankton: Tomato.
SpongeBob: Tomahto.

SpongeBob: [sings to cheer up and encourage Plankton] 'F' is for friends who do stuff together, 'U' is for you and me, 'N' is for anytime or anywhere at all...
Chorus: Down here in the deep blue sea!
Plankton: 'F' is for fire that burns down the whole town, 'U' is for Uranium bombs. 'N' is for no survivors when you...
SpongeBob: Plankton, those things aren't what F.U.N. is all about. Now do it like this. 'F' is for friends who...
Plankton: Never! It's completely idiotic.

Plankton: Don't You Backsass me!
[SpongeBob starts mocking Plankton]

Plankton: Felicitations, malefactors! I am endeavoring to misappropiate the formulary for affordable comestibles! Who will join me?

Fish: You kidnapped us just to eat your fast food?
Plankton: Hey, it's a standard marketing technique.
[everyone leaves]
Fish: You little twerp!
Plankton: Hey!
Karen: He's right, you know.
Plankton: Karen? You think I'm a twerp?
Karen: Well, yes, but I was referring to the kidnapping.

SpongeBob: I'm every bit as good as Larry, and if I'm not, then may I be struck by...
[rumble of thunder]
SpongeBob: ...a flying ice cream truck.
[a shadow forms over SpongeBob; chimes play]
SpongeBob: And live!
[the flying ice cream truck stops short of crushing Spongebob]
Larry the Lobster: [on megaphone] Please do not land flying ice cream trucks on the bathers.

Plankton: Spongebob, we're friends right? Friends do things for eachother. And tomorrow's my birthday. Do you know what I want?
SpongeBob: A booster seat?
Plankton: Hot-dog! A booster seat! YES! I mean no. I want... a tender... scrumptious... juicy... Krabby Patty.
SpongeBob: [gasps] Plankton! I know what this is! You're just pretending to be my friend so you can get your hands on a Krabby Patty! And I bet tomorrow isn't even your birthday!
Plankton: Jeez. And I thought you were stupid.

Fred: [singing] My leg is in love! Wow, my leg is in love! Through my femur to the marrow is where Cupid shot an arrow!

SpongeBob: What kind of monsters are we? That poor creature came to us in his hour of need, and we failed him. Squidward's always been there for us when it was convenient for him! Evelyn, when your son was trapped in that burning building, who saved him?
Evelyn: A fireman.
SpongeBob: And Larry, when your heart gave out from all those tanning pills, who revived you?
Larry the Lobster: Some guy in an ambulance.
SpongeBob: Right! So if we all could just pretend that Squidward was a fireman or some guy in an ambulance, then I'm sure we can all pull together and discover what it truly means to be in a marching band.
Fish: Yeah, for the fireman!

[Plankton just created a robot version of Mr. Krabs]
Robot: Mr. Squidward!
Squidward: What now, Mr. Krabs?
Robot: That's right, I am Krabs, your boss, your ruler, your master!
[Plankton laughs evily, while Squidward looks at the robot version of Mr. Krabs]
Squidward: You're not Mr. Krabs.
Robot: Hey, why don't you take the rest of the day off?
Squidward: [laughing] Well... whatever you say, "Mr. Krabs"! Whoopee!
[Squidward then leaves the Krusty Krab]

Plankton: You can't do that to me! I went to college!

Larry the Lobster: How would you like to take the second shift?
SpongeBob: By myself?
Larry the Lobster: Only if you think you're ready.
SpongeBob: I'm not just ready. I'm ready, Freddy.
Larry the Lobster: It's Larry.

Mr. Krabs: I'm afraid you don't work here anymore.
Squidward: Please tell me this isn't a joke.
SpongeBob: Go ahead! Tell him! Tell him all about your cruel, sick joke!
Plankton: As much as I love cruel, sick jokes, I'm afraid he's not joking. You work for me now!

Customer: [after eating the Krabby Patty with Jellyfish Jelly] Amazing! I've got to tell someone about this!
[singing]
Customer: Hey, all you people / Hey, all you people / Hey, all you people, won't you listen to me? / I just had a sandwich, no ordinary sandwich! / A sandwich filled with Jellyfish Jelly! / Hey man, you've got to try this sandwich / It's no ordinary sandwich / It's the tastiest sandwich in the sea!
[scats]

Plankton: But the worst part is, that my dreams of running a marathon like I promised my dear old Grammy have been dashed. I'm sorry, Gram-Gram! I'm sorry!
[Jury starts sobbing]
Plankton: Thank you for your kind attention.
[to himself]
Plankton: ... suckers.
Judge: Does the defendant have an opening statement?
SpongeBob: Yes, Your Honor. Poor Gram-Gram!

SpongeBob: Are you feeling better now, Patrick? What are you doing?
Patrick: Oh, just observing this interesting sub-species.
Plankton: [Under microscope] I'll show you a sub-species!

Plankton: Holographic meatloaf... my favorite!

SpongeBob: Play with me.
Plankton: You know how to induce thermo-nuclear fusion?

Larry the Lobster: You know, SpongeBob, the babes and the big chair are great, but the best part is knowing that you're the only thing standing between these good people and a watery grave. That's what it's all about. Their lives are in your hands now, 'cause I have a date with the tanning booth. So long.
[he leaves]
SpongeBob: But... I can't swim. If only I had known that being a lifeguard meant guarding their lives, I would never have said yes.

SpongeBob: [Selling chocolate door-to-door] Hello, sir, would you like to buy some chocolate?
Chocolate: Chocolate? Chocolate! CHOCOLATE! CHOCOLATE!

Squidward: But I have a theory. People talk loud when they wanna act smart, right?
Plankton: CORRECT!
Squidward: So if we play loud, people might think we're good! Everybody ready?
[band gets ready]
Squidward: And a one, and a two, and a one, two, three, four.
[band plays loudly, glass breaks]
Squidward: [baton breaks] Okay, new theory. Maybe we should play so quietly, no-one can hear us.

Truck: [seeing SpongeBob in the road] Crashing thrashing BREAK DANCER!
[blares the horn]
Squidward: He's stop, he's stopping!
[realizes that the truck isn't stopping and runs in front of the truck to save SpongeBob before he get run over]

Plankton: Surrender that ice-cream cone, or every waking moment for you will become a swirling torrent of pain and misery!

Plankton: [in disguise] Are you SpongeBob SquarePants?
SpongeBob: [looking in a mirror] Why, yes. Yes, I am.
Plankton: Then you've just won one million dollars!
[SpongeBob gasps with delight]
Plankton: You just have to answer one question. What is the Krabby Patty secret formula?
[SpongeBob inhales]
Plankton: Yes?
[SpongeBob inhales more]
Plankton: Yes?
[SpongeBob inhales even more]
Plankton: Yes?
SpongeBob: [in one breath] The Krabby Patty formula is the sole property of the Krusty Krab and is only to be discussed in part or in whole with its creator, Mr. Krabs. Duplication of this formula is punishable by law. Restrictions apply, results may vary.

SpongeBob: [to Plankton, who is in disguise in front of a magic shop] Have you seen a Krabby Patty? It's about this tall, and... Wow, a magic shop! Are you a magician? One time, I saw a magician, and he did this thing, and then... well, anyway, he said that if you believe in yourself, and with a tiny pinch of magic, all your dreams can come true.
Plankton: Augh! I can't take it!
SpongeBob: Plankton! It's you!
Plankton: Yes, and after all these years, I thought I was the master of torture. But that! That just wasn't fair!

Plankton: what? no! I was in it for the music man

Plankton: All right, it's true! I tricked you to get to the Krabby Patty, but then you showed me friendship, and now I realize that's all I ever really wanted.
SpongeBob: Really?
Plankton: No, not really. Being evil is too much fun!

[while Squidward sleeps, Plankton walks casually to Mr. Krabs' office, wearing a headset]
Plankton: That's right, Karen. By the time those two knuckleheads figure it out, I'll be knee-deep in secret formula!... Yes, I'll wear my galoshes.

Plankton: SpongeBob, that's my Krabby Patty! Give it back, you porous freak! I command you! My patty! Nooo! I'll settle for some fries.

Plankton: Attention, Krusty Krab management! This is your better speaking!

TV: [Squidward turns on the television, only to see a documentary about boxes] It is here that the boxes reach their final stage of assembly.
Old: [channel changes to Old Man Jenkins in an Austrian accent] The equation is illustrated here by this box.
Nat: [channel changes to a soap opera] I couldn't afford a present this year, so I got you this box.
Abigail: That's what I got *you!*
Squidward: [increasingly frustrated] Isn't there anything on that isn't about *boxes?*
News: [channel changes to boxing match] And welcome back to Championship Boxing!
Squidward: I guess this is OK. I mean, it's not really about boxes.
[the bell rings and two boxes go at each other]
Squidward: I give up.

Plankton: That's really funny SpongeBob but seriously why don't you make the Krabby Patties.

Plankton: Shut your mouth, you mediocre clarinet player.
Squidward: Mediocre?
Plankton: You pretentious, insignificant artist. Your sniveling creations are worth less than a protozoan's waste.

Plankton: I can't take so much kindness in one sitting. Need... hatred!

Plankton: He must've gotten a piece without Jerktonuim.

Plankton: Well, this stinks.