50 Best Sandy Cheeks Quotes

Sandy: [On TV set at entrance of treedome] Howdy. If y'all are watching this, it means I'm asleep for the winter. This sleep is called hibernation. During hibernation, animals do not like to be woken up, so do not disturb.
[Zoom in]
Sandy: That means you, SpongeBob.

SpongeBob: Hibernation? What's that?
Sandy: It's when I sleep all winter.
SpongeBob: Can I do that?
Sandy: No, silly. It's a mammalian thing.
SpongeBob: Sandy, you may not have noticed, but I is one-hundred-percent ma-male.

Sandy: Yee-haw! Get along, little shellfish! Gallop, you scallops!
[Lands the balloon right behind Patrick; SpongeBob is relieved]
SpongeBob: Yeah! Sandy's here! Woo-hoo! Look, Patrick, it's here! It's here! The best Valentine in the whole wide world is right behind you!
Patrick: [ignores him] Sure it is.
SpongeBob: [jumping up and down] I'm telling you! It's right there! TURN AROUND!
Patrick: Uh-uh.
SpongeBob: Patrick, just turn around!
[the crowd shouts at Patrick and SpongeBob is sad]
Crowd: Turn around! You nincompoop! Why you!
Patrick: You must think I'm pretty dumb, huh?
Crowd: YES! TURN AROUND!
Patrick: No!
Crowd: [chanting] TURN-A-ROUND! TURN-A-ROUND!
Patrick: Nuh-uh! I'm gonna say this once and I'm not going to say it again, so pay attention! I am not, I repeat, not going to turn around for any reason, *ever!*
Sandy: Howdy, Patrick!
Patrick: [turns around] Hi, Sandy!
[He sees the chocolate balloon and is reduced to surprised gibberish]
SpongeBob: Happy Valentine's Day, Patrick!
Patrick: Yay! My valentine!
[jumps on it]
Patrick: Hey, is this solid chocolate?
SpongeBob: Patrick, NO!
[Patrick bites into the balloon and chocolate explodes all over the carnival]
Patrick: Aw, SpongeBob... you didn't have to get me anything.

Sandy: This dome is made of the strongest polyurethane. That's just a fancy word for plastic. Ain't that just the bee's knees?

Sandy: SpongeBob's tie, and all his other little dressings? But -But SpongeBob always folds his clothes before running around... in the nude!

[SpongeBob is falling to the ground]
Sandy: SpongeBob! Land on your bottom! It'll cushion the impact of the fall!
SpongeBob: [makes himself right-side up and takes off his pants] Like this?
Patrick: No, your other bottom!
Sandy: [annoyed] Don't you have to be stupid somewhere else?
Patrick: Not until 4.
[SpongeBob crashes to the ground, where his rear has been shattered into hundreds of pieces]
Sandy: Ooh, that's gotta hurt.
Patrick: Do it again! I wasn't looking!

[Squidward tries to start a marching band]
Squidward: Let's just try stepping in rhythm. Now I want everyone to stand in straight rows of five.
SpongeBob: [raises his hand] Is this the part where we start kicking?
Squidward: No, SpongeBob. That's a chorus line.
Patrick: Kicking? Oh, I wanna do some kicking!
[Patrick kicks Sandy]
Sandy: Why, you...
[fights Patrick; they tumble outside, and after a while, Patrick peeks his head through the door]
Patrick: Whoever is the owner of a white sedan, you left your lights on.
[Patrick walks in and takes his seat; his head has been pulled through his trombone, and he makes a trombone sound as he walks]

Sandy: Don't you DARE take the name of Texas in vain.
SpongeBob: You mean we can't say anything bad about dumb old Texas?
Sandy: No, you can't!
Patrick: Well, can we say that people from Texas are dumb?

Sandy: [Leadind a search for SpongeBob] Status report!
Male: [Covered in sea urchins] He's not in the poison sea urchin beds.
Sandy: Well, look again!
Female: [Covered in leeches] He's not in the leech farm.
Sandy: Well, look again!
Squidward: He's not in my thoughts.
Sandy: Well, think again!

SpongeBob: How much fun was that?
Sandy: Almost some.

Sandy: Holy guacamole! You can't eat my friends, you rats with wings!

Sandy: I'm from the surface world and nothing prepares you for climbing like growing up on good old dry land.
SpongeBob: [laughs] Land, shmand. It's all about finger strength baby, and if there's anything we've got plenty of down here, it's finger strength.
[flexes his fingers like muscles]
SpongeBob: What do you say to that, miss mittens?
Sandy: [climbing up the cliff] I'd say I'm already halfway there!

Sandy: [hears Clamu crying in the background] Oh I can't stand it anymore! That poor, poor critter, what kind of inconsiderate person would upset such a gentle creature!
SpongeBob: Uh, that's kind of what I wanted to talk about Sandy
Sandy: Why, when I find out who caused that oyster so much pain, no more jiggery-pokery!
[rips a phone book in half]
Sandy: Now what was it you wanted to talk about SpongeBob?
[Spongebob reacts nervously and starts twitching]
Sandy: Hey SpongeBob how come you're all twitchy like that?
SpongeBob: Twitchy? Twitchy? Who's twitchy? I'm not twitchy! Sorry Sandy, I have to, um... um... go get my hair cut!
[He runs home]
Sandy: SpongeBob doesn't have hair!... or does he?
[reacts in disgust]

Squidward: Okay i want everyone to stand in straight rows of five.
SpongeBob: Is this the part where we start kicking?
Squidward: No SpongeBob. That's a chorus line.
Patrick: Kicking? I wanna do some kicking!
[kicks Sandy]
Sandy: Ow! Why you...
[gets into a fight with Patrick]
Patrick: [screams loudly]
Patrick: Who ever's the owner of the white sedan you left your lights on.

Mermaid: You fiends can't win. You're out-numbered.
Barnacle: You senile bag of fish paste. There are three of us and only one of you.
SpongeBob: Make that two.
ManRay: The Quickster.
Squidward: three.
Barnacle: Captain Magma.
Patrick: Four.
The: The Elastic Waistband.
Sandy: Five.
Barnacle: M-M-M-Miss Appear.
Mermaid: And me makes 10. I think.

Sandy: SpongeBob's acting jumper then a rattlesnake in a pickle barral.

Sandy: [summoning Pearl to save her and her friends from Squidward] Sic 'im, Pearl! Sorry, Squidward!

Gary the Snail: [Doing performance poetry] Meow! Meow! Meow! Meow!
Sandy: Oh, he has such a way with words!

SpongeBob: You know what that cloud reminds me of?
Sandy: What?
SpongeBob: A flower.
Sandy: SpongeBob, they all look like flowers. All the time.
SpongeBob: They sure do.

Sandy: [Placing bets on how long it will take Spongebob to become discouraged by the jellyfish] I give him a week.
Squidward: I give him eleven minutes.

Sandy: You're nothing but pure evil, just like newspaper comics.

SpongeBob,19073: [exiting SpongeBobs nightmare] No! no! No!
[Squidward talking in the real world]
SpongeBob,19073: SpongeBob. SpongeBob! SpongeBob!
[taps on his face to wake him up]
SpongeBob,19073: Ahhhhhhhhhh!
SpongeBob: [wakes up to find Mr. Krabs, Pearl, Sandy, Gary, and Squidward staring at and all of them are mad] Hey what what are you guys doing in your pajamas? Are we having a slumber party?
Squidward: No we are not having a slumber party!
Sandy: Do us all a favor SpongeBob and stay out of our dreams!
[everyone starts grumbling in agreement with Gary meowing angrily]
Mr. Krabs: [under all the grumbling] You Ruined My Dream Boy!
Sheldon J. Plankton: [joins the argument under the grumbling] You ruined my dream too! Why Don't You Take a Hike!
Squidward: Don't we get enough of you during the day?
Gary: Meow!
Patrick: [enters] Does anyone have a quarter?

[last lines]
SpongeBob: [now ripped in half by the gorilla] Patrick? Sandy?
Patrick,120222: [in unison, tied in a sack] Yes, SpongeBob?
SpongeBob: I'm sorry I caused all this. I'm not scared of going outside anymore, but I'm terrifed of gorillas now.
Sandy: Oh, that's alright, SpongeBob. Us too.
SpongeBob: You know what I don't understand though?
SpongeBob: [other half] What?
SpongeBob: What's a gorilla doing underwater in the first place?
[the gorilla's eyes widen up in shock]
Gorilla: [nervously] Well, that's funny, you should - I mean, you see that - George, they're onto us!
George: Let's get out of here!
[the gorilla and the horse run away into the sunset as Sandy, Patrick, and SpongeBob watch them, a family is watching this as the mom and dad look at each other, the dad shuts off the TV as the screen goes to black]

SpongeBob: [after almost drowning in water] I ripped my pants.
Sandy: [angry] That wasn't funny Spongebob. You had me worried sick!

Patrick: I've been thinking. At first a handshake doesn't seem like much, but really it's the thought that counts...
[Fran walks up with a heart-shaped box of chocolates in her arms]
Fran: Hey SpongeBob, I just wanted to thank you for this box of chocolates.
SpongeBob: Uh, no problem Fran.
Patrick: And even though I was expecting more...
[Dave walks up with roses]
Dave: Thanks for the roses, SpongeBob. Happy Valentine's Day!
SpongeBob: You too, Dave.
Patrick: And not that it matters that we've been friends for so long...
[female fish walks up with a bike]
Female: Hey SpongeBob, thanks for the bike!
[to Patrick]
Female: Can you believe this guy? I just met him this morning!
Patrick: [getting angry, through clenched teeth] So, as I was saying...
Male: Excuse me; do you guys have the time?
Patrick: [snaps, screams and throws the fish] Patrick needs love, too-hoo-hoooo!

Squidward: I don't see the point of this game night. Every game that Patrick has "invented" is more pointless and boring than the last.
Sandy: This time he did research.
Squidward: We haven't started and I'm already bored.

Sandy: Don't you have to go be stupid somewhere else?
Patrick: Not until four.

SpongeBob: I'll slice the buns!
Sandy: I'll dice the tomatoes!
SpongeBob: Then I'll cut the cheese!

Sandy: [after wrestling the worm in a cave] Boy, that critter put up some sort of fight, but as you can see, I'm from Texas, and no worm is a match for me. I even found my tail!
SpongeBob: That's not the worm.
Sandy: Pardon?
SpongeBob: That's not the worm. That's his tongue.
[camera pulls back; the "cave" has two beady eyes]
Sandy: Oh... this is the tongue, and the whole thing is the... worm. RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!

[SpongeBob appears on the horizon]
Sandy: Here, Patrick. Have a Krabby Patty.
[whispers]
Sandy: Psst. There he is Patrick, say your line.
Patrick: [picks up paper] Why thank you, Sandy. Take Patty. Too bad SpongeBob isn't here to enjoy this. These are his favorite.
[on the verge of tears]
Patrick: Take bite.

Sandy: I ain't fixed the vortex yet! How in tarnation did you get back?
SpongeBob: Sandy saved us.
[Sandy reacts in confusion]

SpongeBob: Sandy, why do you have rockets on your sub?
Sandy: Ya know, in case I get stuck in traffic.

[Squidward peeks out from under the rock at all of the fish eating each other. He's frightened. What is going on around here? It's absolute madness. He pulls himself out from under the rock and runs across the jellyfish fields, out into the light of Neptune's Moon]
Squidward: I'm going home to hide under the covers! It's every cephalopod for himself!
[Sandy looks up from her wrist communicator and sees Squidward blindly running into danger]
Sandy: Frenchy, I gotta call you back!
[She runs out after the octopus]
Sandy: Squidward, you have to stay in the shade!
[Squidward trips over his own feet and falls on his face with a crash. As he lies dazed on the ground, he hears a menacing growl. An enormous purple fish swims up behind him. He turns around onto his back and sees the fish bearing down on him. He crawls backwards, screaming]
Squidward: Help!
Sandy: Squidward! No!
[Squidward whimpers and feebly holds up a defensive arm. The fish growls and advances slowly on him. Suddenly, as though it had detected Squidward by radar, the moon beams light down on the frightened little octopus. Squidward is bewildered by the green moon, although not entranced by it as he was before. He watches the moon go, then looks down in astonishment at himself and notices he's glowing green. Promptly he transforms fairly painfully into a large, normal-sized realistic octopus. With a furious roar, Squidward eats the purple fish, before starting after Sandy]
Sandy: O.M. Jehosaphat! You don't see that every day!

Sandy: Don't you know a Christmas tree when you see one?
SpongeBob: Christmas who?

Sandy: I'm hotter than a hickory-smoked sausage!

SpongeBob: So you're staying?
Sandy: I'm stayin'!
[the crowd cheers]
SpongeBob: That makes me feel all wiggly!
[Squidward sarcastically mutters "Whoopty-doo" under his breath]
Patrick: Yeah! Who needs dumb old Texas?
[the crowd falls silent. All eyes fall on Patrick]
Sandy: [threateningly] What did you just say?
Patrick: Should I start running now?

Sandy: SpongeBob, don't you worry about me. I can take care of myself. After all, who's the strongest critter in Bikini Bottom?
[pulls a realistic boat down by the chain of its anchor]
SpongeBob: You are.
Sandy: And who put the "hiya-hi-ho-K" in karate?
SpongeBob: [shaped into a "U"] You did.
Sandy: And who saves your yellow backside from certain destruction on a regular basis?
SpongeBob: [his butt reads "Property of Sandy Cheeks"] You do.

Sandy: Y'all better apologize, or I'll be on you like ugly on an ape.

SpongeBob: [about to race Sandy] Think you can win a fair race in that clunky tin tube?
Sandy: Why don't you ask my behind? That is if you can catch it! What do you say to that, hydro pants?
SpongeBob: [recording on record player] I'd say I'm already halfway there!
[gets stuck on "halfway there"]
Sandy: [gasps as she notices SpongeBob at the bottom of the cliff] Hey!

SpongeBob: [Falling in Sandy's dream] What's going on?
Sandy: Well, we're free-falling from a height of 114,000 feet and are about to land on that itty-bitty target.
SpongeBob: That sounds kinda dangerous!
Sandy: Not as long as you got a big ol' parachute.
SpongeBob: Okay!
[Inflates his shoes]
Sandy: Not pair of shoes, SpongeBob. Para-chute.
SpongeBob: Gotcha!
[Pulls out a parakeet]
Sandy: Not parakeet, para...
[Lands on a truck of clam manure]
Sandy: ... medic.

Sandy: Take me through the plan again.
SpongeBob: Okay! Step 1...
[deep voice]
SpongeBob: Patrick and I get to the Valentine's Day carnival.
[normal voice]
SpongeBob: Step 2...
[deep voice]
SpongeBob: I position Patrick and myself on top of the Ferris wheel.
[normal voice]
SpongeBob: Step 3...
[deep voice]
SpongeBob: You arrive at designated checkpoint for maximum visual contact.
[normal voice]
SpongeBob: Step 4...
[deep voice]
SpongeBob: Patrick is thrilled. Mission accomplished.

SpongeBob: [after waking up from a bad dream] Ah!
[sees everyone hovering over his bed, all looking quite irritable with him]
SpongeBob: Hey, what are you all doing in your pajamas? Are we having a slumber party?
Squidward: No, we are not having a slumber party!
Sandy: Do us all a favor, SpongeBob, and stay out of our dreams!
[everyone grumbles in agreement]
Sheldon J. Plankton: Take a hike!
Squidward: Don't we get enough of you during the day?
Gary: Meow!
Patrick: Does anybody have a quarter?
[everyone stares at Patrick]

SpongeBob: Sandy, you don't know what you're up against! We're talking about an Alaskan Bull Worm!
Sandy: Well, I don't know nothin' about Alaska, but looky here. Back in Texas I wrangled bulls and I wrangled worms. As far as I'm concerned, doing both together just saves rope.

SpongeBob: That accident made me realize that it's dangerous out there. I was the one of the lucky ones. I'm a survivor, and so I simply decided that I'm never leaving my house again.
Sandy: That's crazy talk!
Patrick: That's not crazy talk! This is crazy talk!
[He starts babbling incoherently. Sandy pounds his head into his body to make him shut up]
Patrick: Sorry.

Sandy: Hey, SpongeBob. Whatcha doing? Are you having a garage sale?
SpongeBob: No. I'm giving up my material possessions to live a more natural life among the jellyfish.
Sandy: SpongeBob, Of all the crazy schemes. Why do you want to live with jellyfish? They're cold and mean and none too bright.
SpongeBob: Oh, Sandy. That is exactly the kind of response I expect from someone who lives the sham of a life I once led. I'm going to prove I don't need any of this stuff to be happy. Maybe someday you'll wise up and join me. Goodbye.
[Takes off pants]
SpongeBob: I won't be needing this.
[Runs off naked, buzzing]
Squidward: He took off his pants.
Sandy: I'll give him a week.
Squidward: I'll give him eleven minutes.
[They both leave; Patrick stays behind]
Patrick: [Crying] Patrick sad!

[SpongeBob washes ashore after wiping out]
Lifeguard: Hey, look. A cardboard box washed up on the beach.
[Looks through spyglass]
Lifeguard: Holy fish paste! It's a guy!
[Runs over]
Lifeguard: Why? Why? *Why?*
Sandy: SpongeBob!
SpongeBob: I need... I need...
Lifeguard: What do you need, son?
SpongeBob: A tailor. Because I ripped my pants!
[Everyone leaves, disgusted]
Sandy: That wasn't funny, SpongeBob! Y'all had me worried sick!

[SpongeBob appears on the horizon]
Sandy: Here, Patrick. Have a Krabby Patty.
[whispers]
Sandy: Psst. There he is Patrick, say your line.
Patrick: [picks up paper] Why thank you, Sandy. Take Patty. Too bad SpongeBob isn't here to enjoy this. These are his favorite.
[on the verge of tears]
Patrick: Take bite.

Sandy: I love karate.
SpongeBob: I love kara-te.
Mr. Krabs: I love money-e.
Squidward: I hate all of you.

Sandy: All right, Patrick. Where's SpongeBob?
Patrick: Uh... Uh... He's not here at the moment. Please leave a message after the beep. Beep!
Sandy: All right, then tell me. Since when do you have two houses?
Patrick: Since I ran out of room to put my stuff.
Sandy: Uh-huh, yeah. Then why does your house have feet?
Patrick: This is my mobile home.
[the "second house" sneezes and all the dust flies out to reveal the inflated SpongeBob]
SpongeBob: Hiya, Sandy.
Patrick: Hmmm... the dirt therapy seems to be working just fine.

Sandy: Boy, SpongeBob is really getting outta control with his impression obsession.
[Mr. Krabs pops out of the cash register]
Mr. Krabs: Right you are, Sandy. SpongeBob has lost touch with reality. I've seen it before. They call it the Mocking Mimicry Madness.
[SpongeBob suddenly pops up behind Mr. Krabs while imitating him]
SpongeBob: The Mocking Mimicry Madness.
[Mr. Krabs screams and hides back in the register]