The Best Sgt. Stan Jablonski Quotes

Sgt. Stan Jablonski: [having dismissed the officers at the end of rollcall] Hey!
[everybody stops and turns]
Sgt. Stan Jablonski: Lets be careful out there.

[repeated line]
Sergeant: Let's do it to them before they do it to us.

Lt. Howard Hunter: [after struggling to get Paul 'The Wall' up the precinct stairs] That old parable about Mohammed and the mountain comes to mind. If Mohammed won't come to the mountain...
Sgt. Stan Jablonski: We don't need a parable, Lieutenant. We need a forklift.
Lt. Howard Hunter: Actually, in this case, it's the mountain that can't get to Mohammed.
Sgt. Stan Jablonski: [Still gasping from exertion] What?
Lt. Howard Hunter: Well, what I'm simply suggesting is that we call in the coroner, cordon off the area, let him proceed with his autopsy, and then we'll remove this fella piece by piece.
Lt. Henry Goldblume: I saw that movie. "Texas Chainsaw Coroner."