The Best Sgt. Stavros Quotes

Det. Stavros: You want him picked up?
Lt. Theo Kojak: Well, I'd prefer him six foot under, but I'd settle for a pickup.

Lt. Theo Kojak: What are you doing?
Det. Stavros: T.L.C., eh, Tender Loving Care for my new plant.
Lt. Theo Kojak: Oh. Well, could you put a little TLC into a list of every burglary in eh, in the last two years?

Det. Stavros: Wait a minute, Lieutenant, what is this? I'm not Donnelly's partner, Alessi is.
Lt. Theo Kojak: The hell you're not! When one man in this precinct comes under suspicion, the entire unit becomes Donnelly's partner. Now look, we got two days to polish his badge and ours. Because on Wednesday, the Internal Affairs shooflies, they're gonna be all over us like a groom on a honeymoon. And let me tell you something: we all better be virgins, or have a pretty good story.

Valano: I got a cousin on the force in Denver. He says stakeout's his favorite duty.
Stavros: I think retirement's mine.