20 Best Smokey Quotes

Smokey: Remember it ,Write it down, take a picture, I don't give a fuck.

Craig: [after they see Red's black eye] DAAAAAMN!

Smokey: Weed is from the earth. God put this here for me and you. Take advantage man, take advantage.

Smokey: I won, gimme my money.
Deebo: What money!
Smokey: I lost.

Smokey: I've been smokin' ever since I was two.

Smokey: [after Craig knocks out Deebo] You got knocked the fuck out, man! Give me my goddamn money...
[Smokey takes $200 from a knocked-out Deebo]
Smokey: Payback's a motherfucker, ain't it? Nigga!
[walking away]
Smokey: Pow! Pow, Pow, POW!
Red: [punches Deebo as he's getting up and takes chain back] My grandmama gave me this chain!
Ezal: [slowly walks to Deebo] Deebo? DEEBO! Man, you shoulda been bobbin' and weavin'! Look 'it at ya! GET UP! Since you ain't, maybe I'll take these shoes!
[struggling to take Deebo's shoe off]
Ezal: Big... foot... motherfucker, you can *have* ya knife! 'Cause I *STEAL*, I don't *KILL*.

Smokey: [after breaking into Stanley's house] We got about two hundred dollars.
Deebo: *I* got about two hundred dollars.

[Smokey taking a crap outside]
Smokey: You better not tell anybody man.
Ezal: Man, I'm not, man.
Smokey: Keep it on the down low.
Ezal: Alright brother. Damn.
[Looks around and yells]
Ezal: Hey, Smokey back here taking a shit!
Smokey: Ezal!
Ezal: Well, I won't tell anybody else.

Deebo: Come on Smoke, Stanley left his window open.
Smokey: I can't I'm on probation.
Deebo: Stop being a bitch and come on.

Smokey: Puff puff, give. Puff puff, give. You fuckin' up the rotation.

Smokey: [at the ice cream truck] What's up, Big Perm?... I mean Big Worm?

Smokey: I know you don't smoke weed, I know this; but I'm gonna get you high today, 'cause it's Friday; you ain't got no job... and you ain't got shit to do.

Craig: We ain't got no sugar.
Smokey: No sugar? Damn. Y'all ain't never got two things that match. Either y'all got Kool-aid, no sugar. Peanut butter, no jelly. Ham, no burger. Daaamn.

Felisha: I need to borrow your car right quick.
Smokey: What kinda shit is that? Most people wanna borrow sugar. Or even ketchup. You wanna borrow my car? Hell naw! Get the hell on.
Felisha: Well, let me borrow a joint.
Smokey: You need to borrow a job. With yo' broke ass. Always trying to smoke up somebody's shit. Get the hell on, Felisha.
Felisha: I'ma remember that.
Smokey: Remember it. Write it down, take a picture, I don't give a fuck!
Felisha: Tsk.
[realizes she can try her luck with Craig]
Felisha: Craig.
Craig: [not bothering to look at her] Bye, Felisha.
Felisha: Damn. Y'all stingy.
[she leaves]

Smokey: I got mind control over Deebo. He be like "shut the fuck up." I be quiet. But when he leave, I be talking again.

Ezal: Smoke, buy me a 40oz for my birthday.
Smokey: Today your birthday?
Ezal: What's today?

Smokey: Man that fool just playin' man, I ain't trippin.
Craig: That's yo problem. Aint' nobody playin' but you. You walk up and down the street all day playin'. He aint' playin' you think he playin' 'bout his money? He know where my momma stay know where you momma stay. He say he had a gun when you seen him right?
Smokey: Yeah
Craig: Well name one person in the hood that play like that!

Smokey: Why don't you tell your daddy to comb his damn hair, look like some spiders is having a meetin' on his head.

Smokey: [sees Big Worm drives away] Florida Evans-looking motherfucker.

Smokey: Older the berry, the sweeter the juice.
Craig: Man, it's the blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice.
Smokey: Yeah, well she blacker than a motherfucker too.