Top 50 Quotes From Taylor Schilling

Piper: Your scent is... strong.

Piper: That is one formidable cock!
Alex: Hearing you say "formidable cock" is such a turnoff that, honestly, I might never get wet again.

Alex: I'm glad you're enjoying yourself now because it'll be *less* fun when people start getting killed.
Piper: You mean more people?

Piper: How could anyone like standing in front of a scanner for eight hours a day trying not to throw out broken pens?

[Piper hangs up the phone and bangs on the wall angrily]
Charles: Hey! That's federal property.
Piper: *You're* federal property!
Charles: [raises his eyebrows and pulls out his notebook to write Piper a shot]
Piper: I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. It's menses! It's menses madness!
Charles: [disgusted] Ew. Just go.

Piper: [about Red] She's issued a fucking fatwa on me!

Piper: Smell my fingers. They smell like marzipan.

Piper: You have a newborn. I mean, was your vagina even fuckable at that point? Or were you just squirting your milk all over him?

Piper: [about her ring] What are you doing? You can't put that in your pocket, it's going to end up in the bottom of the washing machine.
Larry: Okay, um, where would you like me to put it then?
Piper: Up your ass.
Larry: There's no room, apparently my head's already up there.

Piper: I'm scared that I'm not myself and I'm scared that I am.

Piper: Ooh no, what is that?
Larry: Piper...
Piper: Oh Jesus, Larry, why would you...
Larry: Why would I want a felonious, former lesbian, WASP, Shiksa, about to go to prison, to marry me?
Piper: Yes. And all of the stress eating...
Larry: Well, because the peculiar, under achieving, under employed, Jew-boy, loves her. And knows that he will never be bored, and can't believe how lucky he is that he met her.

Piper: [defending herself to Miss Claudette] I have been here for less than two weeks. I've been starved out, felt up, teased, stalked, threatened and called Taylor Swift!

Piper: You have taught me... that... love hurts. You've taught me that life... it hurts. And I want to be there for you. I want us to be there for each other. So that maybe... it hurts a little less.

Piper: In the morning when I wake up, there are these few seconds before I realize where I am, and then I do realize, and I can't breathe. And I want to cry, and throw shit, and kill myself. When does that end?
Nicky: I'll let you know.

Yoga: Do you know what a mandala is?
Piper: Um, those are those round Buddhist art things.
Yoga: The Tibetan monks make then out of dark sand laid out into big beautiful designs. And when they're done, after days or weeks of work, they wipe it all away.
Piper: Wow, that's, that's a lot.
Yoga: Try to look at your experience here as a mandala, Chapman. Work hard to make something as meaningful and beautiful as you can. And when your done, pack it in and know it was all temporary.

Alex: They cancelled construction and grounds crew because of the active crime scene. So, snow day for us.
Piper: A murder day.
Alex: Yeah, well, that branding never took off in the same way.
[scoffs]

Piper: What are you gonna do?
Alex: I'm skipping town.
Piper: You can't.
Alex: I don't have a choice. These people know where I live. That's why I wanted to see you. When I go, Piper, I can't come back. I have to just disappear.
Piper: You can't leave me.
Alex: Piper, I'm in danger.
Piper: But, I don't have anyone left.
Alex: I'm sorry, Piper. I'm sorry for all of it. I know that my track record is shit but I really do love you.
Piper: Well, yeah, I hate you.
Alex: No, you don't.
Piper: No. No, I don't.

Piper: I'm not your wife.
Suzanne: I threw my pie for you.

Piper: Have you ever tried progressive muscle relaxation? You start with your toes and tense them as hard as you can. Then relax completely. And work your way up your body, all the way up to the top of your head.
Alex: How do you tense your head?
Piper: I don't know. Stop questioning my methods.

Piper: How are you doing?
Alex: Um, I mean I have nightmares, paranoia, sweaty, PTSD micro-flashbacks; but other than that... it's horrible.

Piper: One of my roommates has a massive heart attack when she got here.
Larry: OK - you are not allowed to have a heart attack.

Sister: "Jealosy is as fierce as the grave"--Song of Solomon.
Piper: Toni Morrison?
Sister: The Bible, Sweetie.

Piper: I believe in science. I believe in evolution. I believe in Nate Silver and Neil deGrasse Tyson, and Christopher Hitchens. Although I do admit he could be a kind of an asshole. I cannot get behind some supreme being who weighs in on the Tony Awards while a million people get whacked with machetes. I don't believe a billion Indians are going to hell. I don't think we get cancer to learn life lessons, and I don't believe that people die young because God needs another angel. I think it's just bullshit, and on some level, I think we all know that, I mean, don't you?... Look I understand that religion makes it easier to deal with all of the random shitty things that happen to us. And I wish I could get on that ride, I'm sure I would be happier. But I can't . Feeling aren't enough. I need it to be real

US: [Piper is on the airplane toilet urinating] Could you lie, hurry it up a bit?
Piper: I'm going as fast as I can.
US: Really? 'Cause it sounds a little light.
[Piper grimaces, urinates forcefully]
US: Better.

Suzanne: It's okay, Dandelion. You know why? I used to spend a lot of time thinking how I could make you love me. Like, if I had long pretty hair, or if I made a chocolate cake with frosting, or if I had a green bicycle.
Piper: No! You are great the way that you are!
Suzanne: I know! Because the answer is, you're not a nice person. You're a mean person. And I used to think you was a yellow dandelion, but psshh... you're all dried up with the puff blown off. And it's not your fault. You are who you are, like I am who I am.

Tasha: I told you. You a full-blown Slytherin. And I'm a lion-hearted Gryffindor, with the intelligence of a Ravenclaw.
Piper: But how does it even know this? I lied for every answer.
Tasha: They ain't all bad. Snape was a Slytherin. Turned out he had that selfless love.
Piper: I did have a snake once. A Burmese python named Krueger. Technically, it was Cal's, but Krueger liked me best.
Tasha: Did you ever talk to it?
Piper: Mm-hmm. When I was feeding him. Epic conversations. Mostly about the merits of frozen versus fresh mice, and why Mike Powell never loved me back.
Alison: You cold-blooded for sure.
Piper: Nobody asked you, Hufflepuff.

Piper: When you say that everybody hates me, you're being a little hyperbolic, right?

[sitting at the lunch table with Nichols and Morello, who is insinuating that Piper and Alex are having an affair]
Piper: No, absolutely not. That's ridiculous.
Nicky: Okay, where were you then? 'Cause I went by your cube...
Piper: Where was I?
[cut to dark chapel]
Piper: [moaning]
Alex: I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm...
Alex: [whispers] Shh. Show, don't tell.

[first lines]
Miss: And now what? You wipe up, but that does not disinfect. How are you going to disinfect?
Piper: I don't know, I've never cleaned up another person's pee before.
Miss: The privileged life you've led.

Alex: Like you aren't accountable for anything that ever happens in your life, ever.
Piper: Am I supposed to tell them that I made you get into the dryer?
Alex: No, I want you to get me out. Read that manual, unjam the door, step the fuck up! Wait, Piper, where are you going?
Piper: I'm just gonna go...
Alex: No! Don't you go! Don't you fucking leave me.
Piper: Okay
Alex: Okay, What?
Piper: I'm here

[first lines]
Piper: [scenes of growing up] I've always loved getting clean. I love baths. I love showers. It's my happy place.
Piper: [suddenly in prison] *Was* my happy place.

Piper: You know I could tell you a lot of things that would scare you, Dina. I could tell you that I'm going to make you my prison bitch. I could tell you that I'm going to make you my house mouse, that I will have sex with you even if we don't have an emotional connection; that I'm going to do to you what the spring does with cherry trees but in a prison way. Pablo Neruda. But why bother? You're too tough, right. Yeah, I know how easy it is to convince yourself that you're something you're not. I mean you could do that on the outside. You can just keep moving, keep yourself so busy you don't have to face who you really are. But you're weak.
Dina: Back the fuck off me.
Piper: I'm like you Dina. I'm weak too. I can't get through this without somebody to touch, without somebody to love. Is that because sex numbs the pain or is it because I'm some evil fuck monster? I don't know. But I do know that I was somebody before I came in here. I was somebody with a life that I chose for myself and now, now it's just about getting through the day without crying. And I'm scared. I'm still scared. I'm scared that I'm not myself in here and I'm scared that I am. Other people aren't the scariest part of prison Dina. It's coming face-to-face with who you really are. because once you're behind these walls there's no where to run, even if you could run. The truth catches up with you in here Dina and it's the truth that's going to make you her bitch.

Piper: What am I supposed to do now? It's like, we still live in the same place. It's not like I can just go take off and visit my slacker cousins in California for a few weeks while I like my wounds and stalk her on Facebook.

Piper: I want somebody I can have adventures with.
Polly: Look, adventure is just hardship with an inflated sense of self.

Piper: Not every Hispanic person wants the same thing.
Lorna: Sure, they do. They all want to come to America.

Yoga: Don't eat the pudding.
Piper: What's the perspective on the pudding?
Yoga: It comes in cans marked Desert Storm. They have to scrape the mold off the top before they serve it.

Piper: What the fuck are you doing?
Nicky: It's a weekly meeting, okay, for the morally morose and successfully challenged. So we're just going back and forth and uh talking about the truly dreadful, horrible shit that we have to slog through on a daily basis, you know.
Alex: And we're smoking crack.
Nicky: Oh, yeah, that too.

Felicia: [about Piper's fight with Pennsatucky]
Felicia: Knuckled her, eh?
[grins]
Felicia: Did you get to feel the bones crack?
Piper: [grimaces in shame at the memory]
Piper: ...Yes, actually.

Zelda: Are you gonna invite me in, so I can finally meet that lizard that lives in your closet.
Piper: Is that a euphemism?
Zelda: Do you want it to be?

Galina: Is this about your little panty business?
Piper: How do you know about that?
Galina: You recruited my whole family. They're all running the track in pink bikinis. First, you don't ask me to wear them, and now you undervalue my criminal mastermind. You know what? You really need to go fuck yourself.

Larry: I was supposed to go to that.
Larry: Really?
Larry: Yeah.
Piper: You were?
Larry: Yeah, but then I sat down. Gravity works very strongly on me. Especially when it's sweltering outside and when Almost Famous is playing for the 400th time.
Piper: Yeah.
Larry: Plus, I'm plant-sitting, so, you know, if I went anywhere I'd have to take them with me, and I'm not sure if they're all over 21. So...

Beth: Religious people are peaceful
Piper: Not historically

Alex: Do you know how freaking lucky you are that you just got sent to N.A.? She could have sent you back here!
Piper: What if that's what my subconscious wants?
Alex: No.

Piper: I'm playing these guards like a flute. Like a group of flutes. Many flutes. I'm the flautist.

Piper: [dressed back into an orange jumpsuit, stumbling in too-tight handcuffs and shackles in the snow, and sees an ominous school bus marked "CORRECTIONS" up ahead] ... Is that for me?

Piper: Maybe, just maybe, we will get friendly again. Maybe.
Alex: We were never friends, Piper.
Piper: We weren't?
Alex: No. Not for a second. I loved you, I loved having sex with you.

[first lines]
Piper: As a get-out-of-prison gift, Neri had my astrological chart done. Or she downloaded it from the Internet. Either way, she thought it might give me some insight into myself. I'm a Gemini. In Latin Gemini means twins, so there's this inherent duality to me, right? If you believe this shit.

Piper: Uh, so what's an Amalekite?
Cindy: Amalekite? Oh they real baddies in the Bible, attacking everybody, preying on the weak and shit, a war tribe! Ooh, in Samuel, God told Saul to kill 'em all! Uh! Utterly destroy them motherfuckers, that what God say. Even the babies. Even the cows. They so bad they *cows* had to die!
Tasha: Say anything about rats?
Cindy: Naw. Uh um.
Piper: Okay. This is nuts.
Cindy: It is.

Piper: Against the wall for suicides.
Suzanne: Well this took a dark turn.

Piper: [translating what Maria said] We are the shitters.
Alex: Yeah, everything sounds better in Spanish.