The Best The Deep Quotes

The: I married some weirdo who gives terrible blow jobs!

The: So, when?
Jeff: When what?
The: When do I ship out?
Jeff: Oh. Gosh... you know that water park's opening up a new splash zone, and... and they are real excited to have you cut that ribbon...
The: You know, I'm seriously leaving, Jeff. Fuck Ohio.
Jeff: [sheepishly] Here's the sitch: I talked to the guys in New York. And you're not... so much... leaving.
The: [stunned] What?
Jeff: They didn't share details. But, hey, the boys in marketing have created a primo tag for you: the Savior of Sandusky! That has a nice ring, doesn't it?

Starlight: Uh, who invited you? Exactly?
The: Starlight. Look, what I did was unforgivable. I'm going to do whatever in my power to renew my light. Not just for you, but for all the female people that I've offended.
Stormfront: Renew your light? Did you just fucking join The Church of the Collective?
The: Maybe.
Stormfront: You're an idiot.
The: Hey, easy on the religious persecution. OK new girl? Starlight, maybe one day you can welcome me back into the Seven. I know my road is long and hard.
Starlight: Are you serious? There is no FUCKING way you're coming back!
The: There's no need for language.

The: Fuck Fresca.

Annie: Every single word that I say up here, I'm reading from a script. I didn't write any of these words. I don't even know if I believe in them. I mean, I believe in God, I love God so much, but... honestly, it's... it's just how goddamn...
[crowd gasps]
Annie: ...certain everyone is around here. I mean, tickets start at, what, 170 bucks, so that these people can tell you how to get into heaven? How do they know? How does anybody know? When the bible was written, life expectancy was 30 years old. I mean, I'm not so sure you're supposed to take it literally. It also says that it's a sin to eat shrimp. What, if... if you're gay or if you're... Gandhi you're going to hell? I mean... And if you have sex before marriage, that's... that's not immoral. That's human. What's immoral is the guy who shoved his dick in my face.
[crowd gasps again]
The: [watching from the Seven's meeting room] Shit.
Madelyn: [watching from her office] Shit.
Annie: [Looks over at her mom and then back to the crowd] Here's the truth. Anyone who tells you they know the answers is lying. And I know, I know, I'm supposed to be this hero-idol-symbol-whatever, but... I don't know what the hell I'm doing. I'm just as scared and confused as the rest of you. I'm done pretending, and I'm done taking any more shit.
[beat]
Annie: Thank you.

Homelander: Soldier Boy.
The: No, that's impossible. He died, like, 40 years ago.
Ashley: Someone's cosplaying?
Homelander: Look at his face. It's him.
The: Or maybe CGI.
Ashley: It is not CGI. You don't even know what CGI stands for.
The: It stands for "blow me."

Queen: You're gonna need a woman to tell everyone that you're not a complete piece of shit. I could be that person for you.
The: Wait, you think I'm a piece of shit?
Queen: Fuck yeah.

Starlight: See I asked around. You're not number two around here. You're just the fish guy. Everyone thinks you're a joke. Me most of all. I cannot believe I fell for your crap.
The: You stuck-up little...
Starlight: You ever... touch me again,
[her eyes glow up]
Starlight: I will burn your eyes out. You understand me?