Top 30 Quotes From Thirteen

Tracy: [to Mason] Should we talk about how you get stoned every night with Rafa?
Mason: She knows I smoke pot, Tracy. Look at your pupils. You're so fucking busted.

Tracy: [Tracey walks into the bathroom in a huff and Astrid looks over] So, um, you just wanna go to the boardwalk and sell some shit?
Astrid: [while putting stickers on her face in the mirror] I can't. Um, I'm late for my biology actually and we're doing a play and I'm a mermaid.
Tracy: [raises her eyebrows and walks out of bathroom]
Astrid: [stares into the mirror and keeps applying her makeup]

Tracy: Mothers, lock up your sons!

[singing]
Evie: The itsy-bitsy spider dropped acid at the park...

Tracy: Hey, Mason. Just out of curiosity, who do you think is the hottest girl in school?
Mason: I guess, um, Evie Zamora.
Tracy: Guess who I hung out with today.
Mason: Bull. Melrose Avenue.
Tracy: Melrose Avenue.
[Mason looks at her in awe]
Tracy: What? God, it's that hard to believe?

Tracy: [while lying in the afterglow after having sex with Javi] We are so perfect for each other. You know, if everybody married someone from a different race, then in one generation, there would be no prejudice.
Evie: [lies next to Tracy] So you had a good time?
Tracy: [Dreamily] Yeah, but it tasted kinda nasty.
Evie: [laughs] What? We didn't go over that one!

Tracy: Geez, Mom, why don't you open a hotel? You could get paid for all this shit.

Mason: [to Teen] You stupid fucker!
[laughs and looks ahead to a girl]
Mason: Oh, sweetie, back that ass up.
Teen: [walks up to the girl] I'd like to see how that thong looks on my bedroom floor.
Tracy: [turns around] Too bad you'll never know.
Teen: [while walking up to the girl] I'd like to see that thong on my bedroom floor.
Mason: Tracy?
Tracy: [glances over and sees Mason; Mason looks down and sees Tracy's bellybutton ring] Aw, shit. Fuck it.
[starts to walk away]
Teen: [grabs the Cokes and stops her] Hey Tracy. Here's your Cokes.
Teen: Didn't have to with your fine ass.
Tracy: Fuck you.
[walks off]

Evie: [to Tracy] You don't know how to kiss, do you?
Tracy: Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Yes, I do. Me and Noel practiced with "Cruel Intentions" like 50 times.
Evie: Right
Tracy: So, you want me to prove it, lesbo?
Evie: Hell, no!
[Tracy bends down and kisses Evie]
Evie: I barely even felt that.
Tracy: Well, see if you fucking feel this one, then!
[pushes Evie on the floor and kisses her more passionately]
Evie: Well, okay!

Tracy: Mom, I have to go to the bathroom now!
Melanie: Can't you hold it a minute?
Tracy: That's how you get a bladder infection, you child abuser.
Melanie: That's dramatic.

Tracy: [speaking in gibberish] Why does my tongue hurt?
Evie: Maybe because you gave head.

Tracy: [when Tracy and Evie walk out in two matching cut-up halter tops] Mom, Mom! Can you guys say "hot"?
Tracy: That was Mason's favorite shirt.

Melanie: [When Evie walks on Melanie having a cigarette in her bedroom] Don't ever start smoking.
Evie: Is everything okay, Mel?
Melanie: Yeah.
[pauses]
Melanie: No. Evie, I'm sorry, but I think it's time for you to go home.
Evie: I can't go home. Brooke had a convention in Bakersfield. She said she sent you an e-mail.
Melanie: I guess I didn't check my E-mail.
[laughs nervously]
Evie: I'm sorry, Mel. I hope it's okay that I'm here.
Melanie: Well, I guess it's gonna have to be, isn't it?
Evie: Her boyfriend hits me, Mel.
[sits down on Melanie's bed and pulls her hair back to reveal a bruise on her neck]
Evie: He grabbed my throat and he threw me against his van.
Melanie: [gasps softly] Oh, Jesus.
[sits down beside Evie on the bed]
Melanie: Where's your mother, baby?
Evie: [sniffles] She - she passed away.
Melanie: I didn't have a mother when I was your age either. I know how hard it is. I do.
[she and Evie hug each other]

Evie: [while huffing computer duster] I hear this little wah-wah-wah inside my head...
Tracy: That's your brain cells popping!

Evie: Something peed in your bed.

Tracy: [about the pants that Melanie made for her] The fur was thicker at Red Balls.

[after dying Cynthia's hair]
Melanie: If this gets you laid, you owe me double.

[first lines]
Tracy: Hit me. I'm serious, I can't feel anything, hit me! Again, do it harder! I can't feel anything, this is so awesome!

Evie: [to Luke] How 'bout we make a Luke sandwich?
Luke: Um, how about you're jailbait?

[last lines]
Tracy: Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop.

Melanie: [to Tracy] How do you explain $860 in your purse?
Tracy: What do you expect me to say, Mom? We jacked it, okay? It's not like your broke ass ever has any money to give me. Mom, when Brady went to the halfway house, what happened to our phone, our cable? You didn't even know how to pay the bills. It's no wonder Dad didn't want to be with you! You didn't even finish high school!
Melanie: We don't have extra stuff, but we're doing okay. You know we're doing okay. You don't have to steal.
Tracy: Mom, you knew what was going on! You're not that dumb, are you?
Melanie: [shouts] I didn't know it went that far!

Melanie: [tearing up the floor in her kitchen] Goddamn dollar-fifty-a-square-foot floor!

Tracy: [while outside Mason's open window] Hampton is my baby! He's my baby.
Evie: [while walking in front of the window] Hey, Mason. Move your G-string down South.
[pulls her thong over her shorts while shaking her butt]
Tracy: Dude, no! That is so gross. That's my brother. Oh, my God!
Evie: Maybe I'll marry into the family.

Tracy: [to Brooke] So you're a model?
Evie: She's a model-slash-actress.
Brooke: Mmm, slash-bartender who's about to be late for work.

Tracy: All of the sudden Medina has a ghetto booty?
Evie: I think she stuffs.
Astrid: That slut ain't got shit compared to these double cheeseburgers.
[shakes her butt]
Medina: Shake it, don't break it, bitch.
Astird: Fuck her.

Tracy: So, Brady, how was the halfway house?
Brady: Same as the last one, Tracy.

Mason: Go ahead. Hit me, Tracy. You'll go to jail, you fucking slut!
Tracy: Mom, Mason just called me a slut!

Melanie: I want you here with me. You're my heart. I'll make it right.

Melanie: [to Tracy] I love you and your brother more than anything in the world. I would die for you, but I won't leave you alone right now.

Melanie: [to Tracy] What the hell is that?
[Tracy doesn't answer her]
Melanie: I'm talking to you!
Tracy: [whispers] It's a belly-button ring.
Melanie: Speak up. I can't hear you.
Tracy: It's a belly button ring! How else can I say it? I don't speak no other languages! Oh. And do you want to know what that is?
[sticks her tongue out]
Tracy: That is a tongue ring.