The Best Vernon Scripps Quotes

Vernon: Bernard, I've been thinking!
Bernard: Yes that's what I've been worrying about

Vernon: Oh, there you are David. We've got a problem.
Bernard: That makes a change.

Vernon: I get some of my best ideas in pubs and last night was no exception.
Bernard: Oh no.

Vernon: I used to do a little boxing myself you know.
Jeremy: I thought so.
Vernon: Oh, what made you think that?
Jeremy: The face, really.

Vernon: [calls to Tom and Phil whilst having a drink in the Aidensfield Arms] Hey lads! Nicked anyone for car tax lately?
[laughs]
PC: What's he so pleased about?
Gina: His latest venture. He's managing the Brass band.
PC: He won't make much run in one of those. Money's all in pop groups today.
Probationary: I love Brass bands.

Vernon: Avanti!

Vernon: According to my book of etiquette, James, chauffeurs are addressed by their surnames, not their Christian names. How do you feel about that?
James: Whatever you prefer, sir.
Vernon: So, what's your surname?
James: Darling, sir.