The Best PC Tom Nicholson Quotes

[the firearmed officers arrive and surround the disused airfield]
Jimmy: Cops! We've had it!
Probationary: Give yourselves up!
Terry: [pointing a gun at Tom] Ah, as we've got you...
Sergeant: [running forwards with Mike] What do they think they're doing charging in like that?
Terry: [holding Tom at gunpoint] GET BACK! OR HE GETS IT! I MEAN IT!
Jimmy: They're gonna shoot us!
Sergeant: [to the armed officers] GET THOSE GUNS DOWN!
[Machin turns around to face Merton]
Sergeant: DO NOTHING TO RISK THE SAFETY OF MY OFFICER!
Terry: [holding Tom at gunpoint] Right this is your big moment. You tell your mates to stay put while we get on the plane.
Probationary: Don't worry about me! DON'T LET HIM GET AWAY SERGEANT!
Terry: [to Tom] WHAT DID I TELL YA?
Sergeant: I can't risk his life. Especially in this light. IT'S ALRIGHT MACHIN! WE CAN SEE THE POSITION! WE'RE NOT GOING TO SHOOT!
[the armed officers lower their guns]
Jimmy: ALRIGHT LET'S GO!
Terry: Right, what did I tell ya? Get the money on board.
Sergeant: The plane's quite small. They'll release Tom once they're aboard. We'll let the Air Traffic Authorities deal with this once they're away.

Vernon: [calls to Tom and Phil whilst having a drink in the Aidensfield Arms] Hey lads! Nicked anyone for car tax lately?
[laughs]
PC: What's he so pleased about?
Gina: His latest venture. He's managing the Brass band.
PC: He won't make much run in one of those. Money's all in pop groups today.
Probationary: I love Brass bands.

[to a group of angry farmers one of whom may have written a warning on the wall of Ashfordly police station using red paint]
Probationary: You should be going to Ashfordly and paint the town red.

Probationary: I was wondering Alf, it's my Birthday tomorrow. It's my 21st actually. I was just wondering, if you fancied a pint. Perhaps a game of Dominoes or something?
PC: Tomorrow? Sorry Tom I can't. I wish I could.

Probationary: [arrives at the Police Station] Morning. Sorry I'm late. Oh good, Sarge not in yet then?
Sergeant: [exiting his office] Yes I am Nicholson! Have been for some time!
Probationary: Sorry I'm late Sarge. The reason was...
Sergeant: Save it. Armed robbery yesterday in the Midlands. Wager snatch. Security guard's been shot. He's on the critical list. West Midlands Police think an Asfordly man may have been involved. James Arthur Sutton?
PC: Jimmy Sutton? He's still inside isn't he?
PC: He got nine months for car theft.
Sergeant: Released last week apparently. It's not certain yet he was involved, but we've been asked as a matter of urgency to check on his whereabouts.

Probationary: [seizes the gun Machin is holding] No! Don't shoot him!
[Tom wrestles Machin away from the plane]
Sergeant: [as Machin pushes Tom over] HOLD IT THERE MACHIN!
Terry: [points his gun at Merton] Don't even think about it!
Probationary: [gets up and seizes the gun] DROP IT!
[Machin wrestles Tom and shoots him]
PC: Tom...
[Machin drops the gun and runs away. Merton runs over to Tom and Mike chases Machine]
PC: [shouts] MACHIN!
[Mike slams Machin to the ground and arrests him]
Sergeant: [checking Tom's neck pulse] Oh God no.