30 Best Alex Standall Quotes

Zach: [to Alex about Jessica] What's up with her? Hasn't it been a few months since you guys...
Alex: Yeah, I guess it's a quick slide from "We can be friends" to "Don't fucking touch me."

Deputy: [to Alex] Hey, buddy.
Alex: Hey, Dad.
Deputy: So, your mom isn't too happy about you going back to school tomorrow.
Alex: Well, I have to go back with Jessica. We promised we'd go back together and she's going back tomorrow.
Deputy: Okay, but we were thinking more like a week, maybe two?
Alex: Dad, it has to be now.
Deputy: 'Cause of the trial?
Alex: Yeah. And I know people have been talking about me for months now.
Deputy: Who's been talking?
Alex: It's a small town, Dad. I can't even go outside without people looking at me or talking about what I did, or what Hannah did and I failed to do. And I'm sick of hiding from them all.
Deputy: You're not hiding from anyone. You're recuperating.
Alex: I can still do that. Just out there. And Hannah's trial means people are finally gonna hear her story, and I want to help tell it.

Alex: I'm broken, okay? I'm fucking broken. That's how it's gonna be. Why don't you just live with it?
Peter: Alex, you're not broken.
Alex: How the fuck would you know? I've seen you twice since I got out of the hospital.
Peter: I had school.
Alex: I had fucking school, too! And I had friends. Now I don't have anything, except all of you standing around feeling sorry for me, not fucking knowing what to say.

Bryce: [to Alex and Jessica] Is this happening again? You're back together?
Jessica: Not unless this is the "Hell Freezes Over" dance.
Alex: Sad thing is, that'd be a really good theme.

Montgomery: Fuck you, Alex.
Alex: No thanks, Monty. You're not man enough.

Alex: It's a party, so I'm pretending to have fun. No, I'm actually just here as a part of my ongoing plan. I'm gonna hang around Jessica enough that she gets annoyed and she falls back in love with me.
Clay: I feel like there's a logic flaw in that plan.

Kevin: [to Clay and Alex] Guys, where are you supposed to be?
Alex: That's a heavy question. That's, like, existential.

Courtney: If we don't get our stories straight before these depositions, it's bad for all of us.
Alex: But what is the story exactly?
Courtney: Hannah was a liar. She was jealous and needy and emotionally unstable. She thought everyone was out to get her.
Tyler: Aren't you describing yourself?

Alex: So not only did everyone think Hannah gave it up for me I took away her best friend. And who knows? If she had a friend, maybe...
Clay: It's okay, man.
Alex: No, it's not. It's not okay. You want it to be okay because then you get off the hook, but you're losing your shit. You want to think whatever you did couldn't be why Hannah killed herself, but the truth is that I did. I killed Hannah Baker! And Justin killed Hannah Baker. And Jessica. And you. We all killed Hannah Baker.
Clay: Maybe you need some chamomile tea.
Alex: 'Cause people are listening? Well, it's too bad no one paid attention before.

Alex: [to Zach] Wouldn't you rather hang out with your actual ambulatory friends?
Zach: Nah, no. I like my non-ambulatory friends.

Clay: [to Alex] Is "Gloomy Sunday" really a song?
Alex: Yeah. Google "Hungarian Suicide Song."
Clay: I'll take your word for it.

Alex: Wanna know what's worse than being a rapist? Hiding behind one. Fucking justifying a fucking rapist, that's worse. You want to get the story straight? We all know the story. Everything Hannah said on the tapes is true.
[to Courtney]
Alex: You're gay. So what? Tyler, you're a stalker. Ryan, you're an arrogant asshole. Zach, you're just an entitled idiot who does cruel, stupid things even though you probably have a decent heart. And Sheri's a fucking coward who got a kid killed.
Marcus: Alex, that's enough.
Alex: No, Marcus. You'll do anything to keep up your perfect reputation. And, yeah, I'm a fucking weak, pathetic loser who ruined the one good thing that I ever had because I wanted a rapist to think I was just like him. Hannah was my friend and we should tell the truth about her because I know that if I had still been friends with her, if any one of us had still been friends with her, she'd be alive.

Alex: [to Monty] Leave Tyler alone.
Montgomery: Or what?
Alex: Or I'll hurt you.
Montgomery: Haven't we done this already, Standall? What are you going to do? You gonna run to daddy?
Alex: No, I can take care of myself.
Montgomery: Why do you fucking care about Tyler? Oh, wait, are you actually fucking?
Alex: [as he pulls out a knife] If you speak to him again, I'll open you up and watch you bleed.
Montgomery: You're a crazy motherfucker.

Alex: [to Bryce] Fuck you! You fucking rapist!

Alex: I wish I never touched that fucking list.
Clay: Why did you?
Alex: I don't know. Bryce started it. All the guys were working on it at lunch.
Clay: Why are you even friends with those guys? Justin, Zach, Bryce.
Alex: No, see, I'm not friends with Bryce, but the other guys. Zach and I got to be friends last year, and he's always hanging around Justin. They thought it was funny and stuff. My dad was relieved that I had male friends. Also, didn't totally suck at school that Justin Foley liked me back then.
Clay: Okay, back then. Why are you friends now?
Alex: Because if I stop hanging out, they're gonna know something's up. I shouldn't even be talking to you.

Alex: [to Jessica] You look amazing.
Jessica: Good enough to make your next list?

Justin: [to Jessica] What the hell, Jess? You coming or not?
Jessica: In a minute. I'm talking to Alex.
Justin: Oh, about what?
Alex: About how much she misses me. About how much better of a boyfriend I am than you. How she wishes she never broke up with me. How you smell bad.
Jessica: Alex, come on!
Justin: Fuck you, Alex.
Alex: What? It's totally true. She was like, "Justin smells bad." I was like, "I know."
Jessica: I did not say that.
Justin: You're a funny guy, Standall.

Alex: You guys would make shitty chess players. We're two moves from being checkmated.
Marcus: Not necessarily. Not if we bring Bryce into it with us.
Ryan: Bryce the rapist.
Courtney: Alleged rapist.
Ryan: Fuck off, Courtney.

Alex: [to Montgomery] You went a long way for Bryce. He'd sell you out to save his own ass in a heartbeat. You know that, right?
Montgomery: Know what I got, Alex? I got my friends, I got the team. That's it. I don't get to be all sad, boo-hoo, my friend died. I'm gonna put a bullet in my head so the world feels sorry for me.
[Alex moves the gun towards him]
Montgomery: Jesus, you wave that gun around like I give a shit. I don't, man. If I sell out Bryce or lie, either way, my whole life falls apart. I got no one else on my side. I can't run home. That team's my home. Going to playoffs, winning state, being an athlete, that's not about fun for me. It's about survival. It's all I got. It's everything. So you wanna shoot me? Shoot me.

Alex: [after Alex's parents find out he ditched school] I'm sorry, okay?
Deputy: Sorry isn't gonna cut it. You haven't even been back less than a week and you're already skipping school.
Carolyn: Okay, Bill. Every 17-year-old kid skips a couple of classes now and then.
Deputy: Well, if he's ever gonna be a normal 17-year-old kid again, he's gotta put in the work. That's all.
Alex: I'm sorry I'm not fucking normal!

Clay: [When Clay sees Alex tearing down some of the suicide awareness posters off the walls] Alex...
Alex: Go back to class, Clay.
Clay: What are you doing?
Alex: I'm cleaning up. What, they think these are gonna save someone's life? "Suicide's not an option"? Yeah, you know what? Clearly it is an option, you know? Why don't they put up a poster that says "Don't be a fucking dick to people"? Why don't we put up that poster?
Clay: Yeah, that would be cool with me. I try not to be a dick.
Alex: Yeah, we all try.

Alex: So anyone can get away with anything at this school and no one gives a fuck?

Justin: Whatever happens to us happens to you too.
Alex: If I kill myself, you die too?

Clay: [to Alex] So, did you do it? I mean, did you put Hannah and Jessica on that list?
Alex: You didn't know that? But you saw it.
Clay: Yeah, but I didn't, like, trace the handwriting.
Alex: I didn't think it was that big a deal.
Clay: Do you think she's right? Does everything that happened to her go back to you and that list?
Alex: Well, I think it all started the night of Jessica's party.
Clay: What did she say about Jessica's party? Does she mention me there?
Alex: Where are you in the tapes?
Clay: I'm almost through yours.
Alex: Holy shit, Clay. I mean, I listened to 'em all in one night the first time.

Tyler: [to Alex and Clay] What are you doing?
Alex: I'm recruiting Clay for the Illuminati. You want to join?
Tyler: Alex, you should not joke about the Illuminati, first of all. Trust me.

Alex: [to Clay] Sometimes you judge people. I mean, we all do. Sometimes you just live to regret it.

Alex: [to Jessica] Can I just ask you one question? What is it about me that isn't good enough?
Jessica: Alex, come on. It's not... it's not about that.
Alex: Then what? 'Cause I don't understand why you weren't ready to date me, but you're ready to date him.
Jessica: Why you want to be with one person and not someone else, you can't always explain it.
Alex: Well, try.
Jessica: It's like you learn to listen to your body, who you're attracted to, who makes you feel safe.
Alex: Safe? He let his best friend rape you and then he lied to you about it! How the fuck does that feel safe?

Justin: Jesus! Fucking Hannah!
Alex: Yeah, fucking Hannah. Fuck her for killing herself.
Justin: Dude, this is all gonna come out now. Aren't you freaked?
Alex: No. I'm glad.
Justin: Seriously?
[scoffs]
Justin: We're all fucked now.
Alex: We were fucked anyway.

Alex: Clay, I've listened to the tapes, like, four times. I don't even know if the doctor's gonna ask me any of this today.
Clay: I went online. Some doctors tested Marines that had TBI with dates and memory questions to see if they could continue serving.
Alex: I'm not a fucking Marine, Clay. I shot myself in the head.

Alex: [to Zach] What's the big emergency?
Zach: This is what I woke up to this morning.
[reads the texts from his phone]
Zach: 12:12 a.m. "Someone gave me a bullet." 12:13 a.m. "Someone gave me a gun." 12:37 a.m. "I figured it all out." You can't fucking text shit like this to a person and then fall asleep.