The Best Arthur Quotes

[Arthur grabs a poison fountain pen]
Arthur: Can you guess...
[pulls the pen clip back]
Arthur: ... what this is?
Gary: I don't have to. Harry showed me. You click it, I die. I thought that brandy tasted a bit shit.
Arthur: Bravo.
Gary: Valentine won you over, somehow.
Arthur: Once he explained, I understood.
[Flashback to Arthur's meeting with Valentine]
Valentine: When you get a virus, you get a fever. That's the human body raising its core temperature to kill the virus. Planet Earth works the same way: Global warming is the fever, mankind is the virus. We're making our planet sick. A cull is our only hope. If we don't reduce our population ourselves, there's only one of two ways this can go: The host kills the virus, or the virus kills the host. Either way...
[Back to Eggsy and Arthur's conversation]
Arthur: The result is the same: The virus dies.
Gary: So Valentine's gonna take care of the population problem himself.
Arthur: Well if we don't do something, nature will. Sometimes, a culling is the only way to ensure that the species survives. And history will see Valentine as the man who saved humanity from extinction.
Gary: And he gets to pick and choose who gets culled, does he? All his rich mates, they get to live. And then when he thinks it's worth saving, he keeps them safe, whether they agree with him or not.
Arthur: And you, Eggsy. In Harry's honor, I am inviting you to be part of a new world. It's time to make your decision.
[Long pause]
Gary: I'd rather be with Harry. Thanks.
Arthur: So be it.
[Arthur points the fountain pen and engages the poison. After a few seconds, nothing happens to Eggsy. Arthur suddenly convulses]
Gary: The problem with us common types is, that we are light-fingered. Kingsman's taught me a lot, but sleight of hand...
[Flashback shows Eggsy swapping glasses while Arthur is not looking]
Gary: I had that done already.
Arthur: You dirty... little fucking prick...
[Arthur slumps to his death. Eggsy then takes the pen and cuts open the scar behind Arthur's ear to extract the transponder]

[Eggsy enters the study room with JB to meet with Arthur]
Gary: Merlin said you wanted to see me, sir?
Arthur: Sit down.
[Eggsy sits down while Arthur looks at JB]
Arthur: Pretty dog. What's his name?
Gary: JB.
Arthur: As in James Bond?
Gary: No.
Arthur: Jason Bourne?
Gary: No. Jack Bauer.
Arthur: Oh.
[pauses]
Arthur: Bravo. It pains me to admit it, Eggsy, but one day, you might be as good a spy as any of them.
[Arthur pulls out a gun and points it at Eggsy, then offers it to him]
Arthur: Take it.
[Eggsy takes the gun]
Arthur: Shoot the dog.
[Surprised look at Eggsy, as he points the gun at JB. Meanwhile, in the room next door, Merlin hands Roxy a gun]
Merlin: This weapon is live. Shoot the dog.
[Back in the study room, Eggsy continues to hesitate as JB stares at him. He shakes his head in disagreement]
Arthur: Give me the gun.
[Eggsy points the gun at Arthur. Suddenly, there is a gunshot from next door. Arthur takes the gun from him]
Arthur: At least the girl's got balls. Get out. I knew you couldn't make it. Go home.
[Eggsy and JB leave the room]
Arthur: Merlin, send in Roxy, please.

[the Interrogator questions Charlie, who is tied to a railroad track]
The: Is Kingsman worth dying for?
Charlie: No it fucking isn't! Shit! I'll tell you what you want, please! Chester King's Arthur! Arthur's head of the secret spy agency! It's called Kingsman! Get me out of here!
The: Thank you, Charlie. Much appreciated.
[Interrogator walks away]
Charlie: No, that wasn't the fucking deal!
[Train passes over Charlie and the section he's tied to drops down. Section rises as Arthur arrives at the scene]
Arthur: I had such high hopes for you. You're a bloody disgrace.
Charlie: I'm so sorry. Please untie me.
Arthur: Untie yourself.
[Arthur walks away]
Charlie: Arth- Arthur, please. Shit. Anyone!
[Merlin, Hart, Eggsy, Roxy, and Percival observe the scene in the control room]
Merlin: Galahad, Percival, congratulations. Your candidates have reached the final stage of the testing process. As tradition allows, you will have 24 hours to spend with them. Eggsy, you should know your father reached this point. From now on, there are no safety nets. Understood?
[Eggsy and Roxy look at each other and nod to Merlin]
Merlin: Good. Dismissed.
[the Kingsman agents and candidates leave the room. Merlin turns around and turns on the loudspeaker at the railway]
Merlin: Charlie, time to go home.
Charlie: Fuck you! Fucking dad's gonna hear about this!

Arthur: It's all yours. And don't forget your membership proposal. Try picking a more suitable candidate this time.
Harry: Seventeen years and still evolving with the times remains an entirely foreign concept to you. You don't remind me that I wouldn't be here if it weren't for that young man. He was as much Kingsman material as any of them. More so.
Arthur: But he wasn't exactly one of us, was he? Let's face it, Galahad. Your little experiment failed.
Harry: [Gets up and prepares to leave the room] With respect, Arthur, you're a snob.
Arthur: With respect?
Harry: The world is changing. There's a reason why aristocrats develop weak chins.