The Best Benedict Pickwick Quotes

Margo: Penny's dead?
Tick: Was he not already?
Benedict: I can't believe it.
William: Thank you, finally!
Benedict: He was my best friend.
William: ...Okay, I mean, all right.
Margo: [Sadly] I guess I always thought someday we were gonna bang.
William: Me, too, girl. Me, too.

Benedict: [the Castle disappears] Oh, this is bad. This is very bad.
[Starts scribbling]
William: Are you fucking kidding me? Do you understand that castle's full of people?
Benedict: Do you understand there isn't a single accurate map of this entire place now?

Tick: On to business, then. Half the court are still rats. The talking beavers are in revolt. They're demanding dental coverage.
Benedict: And the Measly Mountains, they've disappeared. Completely just - -
[Josh moves to sit in the throne]
Rafe: Stop! The thrones are cursed.
Josh: Okay, is anything not fucked?
Tick: Your High Kingliness, perhaps this is all too much for you.
Josh: There was a great king on Earth who had a philosophy: "Hakuna matata". Roughly translated, it means, "no worries". That's my philosophy too. Who gives a shit about a few Measly Mountains?
Benedict: But-...
Josh: Erase them. Bring in the talking rats to translate for the rat people, and we are giving all those beavers braces because they deserve it. Say it, Tick.
Tick: Hakuna matata.

Fen: We can make our stand here. Fray, get behind me. I won't let them harm you and neither will your father.
Benedict: Please, Lady Fen, if we fight, they'll kill us.
Eliot: Plus, are we super totally sure that talking to them won't work?
Fen: Pirates take. That's what they do.
Fray: Will you not fight, father?
Fen: Your father is a powerful magician, but when magic disappeared-...
Fray: Is father a coward then?
Eliot: Father's a survivor.

Eliot: Benedict, right? I need your help. What do you do here again?
Benedict: Royal mapmaker, sire. Is your problem cartographical in nature?
Eliot: Not really. What I need, Benedict, is a dagger. A stiletto, really. Something I can sneak up and stab someone with. But regal.
Benedict: I make maps, Your Majesty.
Eliot: Well, surely, someone has snuck into your office and dramatically stabbed a knife into a map to make a point, no?