The Best Chamberlain Jackson Quotes

Zayday: I'm afraid you have kuru.
Cathy: What the hell's kuru?
Chamberlain: It's a disease that cannibalists get after they eat people.

Zayday: I think she's out for revenge. I think she gathered all the Chanels here in one place so she could knock them off one-by-one. It's like Ten Little Indians.
Chamberlain: Whoah! What? You can't say that!
Zayday: Ten Little Indians, the Agatha Christie novel.
Chamberlain: That still doesn't make it okay.

Chanel: Give me your phone.
Chamberlain: What? Why?
Chanel: Because you're being a total creeper. I mean, I would be stunned if Zayday hasn't already taken out a restraining order against you.
Chanel: Chanel's right. You're totally blowing it.
Chanel: Um... I don't agree. I, for one, would love if a guy would text me that much. Or at all.
Chanel: [handing Chamberlain his phone] There. Problem solved. I blocked Zayday's number from your phone. That way if she texts you, you won't know so you won't be tempted to text her back right away. Then at nine p.m. on the dot every day, the phone will automatically unblock her number and you'll receive any text messages she may have sent you throughout the day, and you're allowed to respond with... one text. Then after an hour, your phone will automatically re-block the number and it'll seem like you're playing it cool, and she'll probably be less creeped out by you, and that's my good deed for the year. Oh, and don't think just because I'm helping you doesn't mean I don't think that you're the Green Meanie, because I still have my suspicions.
Chamberlain: All right, that's like a double double negative and a negative, but whatever... whatever that means, I'll take it, okay?