The Best Clara Edwards Quotes

Clara: Did you see him try to carve that turkey?
Floyd: A man on an operating table wouldn't have had a chance.

Clara: Now that's the sword that my great grandfather, Colonel Edwards carried all through the battle.
Opie: What did he do in the battle?
Clara: Hasn't anyone told you? He was the commanding officer. And when the other settlers, crazed with hunger and thirst wanted to give up, he led them in a stirring charge that broke the spirit of the indians and brought the final victory.
Opie: Wow!
Clara: Waving his sword in the air, he yelled at his men, "Onward boys! Do you want to live forever?".

Aunt: Oh, everybody's taken so much pride in the part their families played in the battle.
Clara: There's not too much pride in 50 settlers and 50 indians sittin' around gettin' gassed.

Aunt: Well how did all these stories get started?
Clara: That's here too. "Both sides realized that the true story of the battle would be a sorry tale to tell their womenfolk, so the story of the bloody Battle of Mayberry was conceived and born after the last shot had been fired."