The Best Delia Quotes

Otho: What happened to these people?
Delia: They died. Oh, look, an indoor outhouse.

Delia: This is my art, and it is dangerous! Do you think I want to die like this?

Charles: As soon as we get settled, we'll build you a darkroom in the basement, okay?
Lydia: My whole life is a dark room. One big dark room.
Delia: So you were miserable in New York City, and now you're going to be miserable out here in the sticks. At least someone's life hasn't been upheaved.

- Jesus Christ!
Delia: What are you doing? Put that down.
- What the hell are you doing out there?
Delia: Listen to me. No! Jesus.
- Why are you doing this to me?
- This is my art and it is dangerous.
- Do you think I want to die like this?

[reading The Handbook for the Living and the Dead]
Charles: This thing reads like stereo instructions.
[Harry Belafonte's "Shake Shake Senora" plays in the background]
Charles: Oh, sounds like Lydia got an "A" on the math test.
[a head sculpture of the Betelgeuse snake appears next to him]
Charles: Jeez!
[Charles falls out of his chair. Delia pulls the sculpture up and smiles]
Delia: He likes it.

Otho: [while Lydia shows them the attic] Fabulous. 'Otho Fenlock's Locked Door Ghosts' Probably committed suicide up there. I'm totally enchanted.
Delia: They're in there? They must live like animals.
Charles: It's locked. How'd they get in?
Delia: [bangs on the door] Open this door, you dead people, or we'll bust it down and we'll drag you out by the ropes you hang yourselves with!
Lydia: Shh! They didn't commit suicide.
Delia: It doesn't matter. Lydia, I have a chance to teach you something here: you have got to take the upper hand in all situations or people, whether they're dead or alive, will walk all over you.

Lydia: They don't wanna come down.
Delia: Charles...
Otho: Why not?
Lydia: I think the reason is, is that they were trying to scare you away, and you didn't get scared.
Delia: Please, they're dead. It's a little late to be neurotic.

- That's it?
- There's no number or instructions?
- Nothing. The "bio-exorcist."
- I don't get it.
Delia: Would you put that down?
- Straight back.
Delia: Why is that still up there?
- Why don't you guys take a break for about half an hour, okay?
- Man: Uh-huh.

[Evaluating her new home]
Delia: A little gasoline... blowtorch... no problem.