The Best Glenn Shadix Quotes

Otho: What happened to these people?
Delia: They died. Oh, look, an indoor outhouse.

Otho: [while Lydia shows them the attic] Fabulous. 'Otho Fenlock's Locked Door Ghosts' Probably committed suicide up there. I'm totally enchanted.
Delia: They're in there? They must live like animals.
Charles: It's locked. How'd they get in?
Delia: [bangs on the door] Open this door, you dead people, or we'll bust it down and we'll drag you out by the ropes you hang yourselves with!
Lydia: Shh! They didn't commit suicide.
Delia: It doesn't matter. Lydia, I have a chance to teach you something here: you have got to take the upper hand in all situations or people, whether they're dead or alive, will walk all over you.

Monsieur: This is the last time I work with children.

Lydia: They don't wanna come down.
Delia: Charles...
Otho: Why not?
Lydia: I think the reason is, is that they were trying to scare you away, and you didn't get scared.
Delia: Please, they're dead. It's a little late to be neurotic.

Scorpius: I am Scorpius the Magnificent! I see all! I know all... who are you?

Fran: Earl, this is Ray Gherkin.
Ray: Howdy-do!
Earl: I like him.
Charlene: Dad!
Ray: It's nice to meet you, Mr. Sinclair. Hope you don't mind, but I parked my truck on your lawn so's I can keep an eye on it. Don't want nobody stealing my new gun rack.
Earl: Smart.
Ray: Hey, Smokey!
[Ray clicks his tounge]
Charlene: Hi, Ray. Uh, what's that under your arm?
Ray: I didn't want to show up at the in-laws empty-handed. Brewski?
Earl: [chuckling] You read my mind.
Ray: All right! I bet I can guzzle faster than you.
Earl: You're on!
Ray: Okay, here we go!
[both gulping rapidly]
Fran: Pretty dreamy, huh, Mom?
Ray: I'm Champion.
Earl: Wow! Doesn't that hurt?
Ray: Can ain't got no feelin'. Right, Earl?
Fran: What a clever insight, but I believe, now, my husband Earl has some questions he'd like to ask you.
Charlene: Yes! Yes, yes, yes!
Earl: Questions? Oh, yeah, right. Um...
Ray: Uh-huh.
Earl: Could you teach me that thing with the beer can?
[Charlene groans]
Fran: Earl!
Ray: That ain't no big thing.
Earl: Hmm?
Fran: Here, Ray. Why don't you sit down?
Ray: Oh, okay.
Charlene: [whispers] No, Mom!
Earl: So, Ray. Charlene tells me you're a custodian.
Ray: Yeah, but I'm doing it for the money, which ain't all that good. But I can swipe all the disinfectant I want.
[Ray chuckles]
Ray: Well, anyhoo, I'm taking night school so I can make something of myself.
Fran: Oh, really? Night school.
Charlene: Please.
Ray: Yep, Some say it's a dream, but someday...... I'm gonna be a tree pusher.
[both gasp]
Charlene: You wanna be a tree pusher?
Ray: Yeah. Reach for the stars. That's what Daddy said. Never said nothin' else. That's when we had to keep him in that little room under the stairs.
[Ray chuckles]

Steven: I am doing my best. You can't blame me for being nervous, I have enemies everywhere. Even Justice League enemies. Besides, I'm ravaged by hunger. Feed me and I shall squeal on all manner of former associates. Speaking of squealing, Black Canary, I notice you can't take your eyes off of me. One can hardly blame you. Perhaps after Agent Faraday helps absolve me of my alleged crimes, I could put you in a cage and have you sing for me.
Green: Listen, you giant tub of...!
Agent: Green Arrow, may I remind you that you're here strictly in a security capacity?
Steven: Yes, why don't you go and fetch me another four platters of oysters like a good little leprechaun? I'm sure your girlfriend and I will have much to discuss while you're gone. I like my oysters sweet, by the way. Sweet and juicy.
Black: Let him talk, Arrow. With all the enemies he's made, he never knows if he's eating his last meal.
[Mandragora laughs heartily]

Scorpius: I'm losing it! I'm losing it!
William: Dah, like you ever had it!

- [Hosts.
Otho: Delia, let's get this show on the road.
- We're dealing with negative entertainment potential.
- I mean, there's absolutely no organic flow-through.
- I noticed that too.
- It's like a giant ant farm.
- What?
- I thought I saw something.

Steven: Get behind me, Edgar. It will be all right...

Agent: Now, why is it that most of your criminal acquaintances seem to be deceased?
Steven: Perhaps my friends are simply prone to misfortune, Agent Faraday.
Agent: My job is to prep you to testify before the grand jury, Mr. Mandragora. You're gonna have to come up with a lot more than some mook who may or may not be around anymore if you want immunity from prosecution.

Monsieur: [after he's captured the kids] Say goodbye to your friends.
[drives off]
Raven: Nobody messes with my kids!
[flies after him]

Green: [being restrained by two agents] Five minutes. That's all I need! Just give me five minutes. I'll teach this pompous jerk some manners.
Agent: Listen, Justice League or not, you will sit down and behave!
Green: You heard what he said!
Steven: Oh, dear. Did I offend you somehow, little man? My most sincere apologies.
Black: Faraday's right, Arrow. Relax. Nothing this guy can say is gonna affect me one way or the other.
Steven: Is that right? Well, then perhaps you won't mind explaining how a lovely young lady like you ends up with a nobody like him. Were all the real men in the Justice League already taken?
Black: [she narrows her eyes; cut to them leaving the house] I hope you're proud of yourself. Now we have to do guard duty from outside.
Green: Hope I'm proud of myself? You're the one that punched him.
Black: Yeah, but... ow! It was like punching a brick wall. There's no fat on that man.
Green: [she pulls his hand out of his] Will you let me look?
[taking it back and giving it a glance]
Green: I think you'll live to punch suspects another day, pretty bird.

Bernard: Otho, I didn't realize you were into the supernatural.
Otho: Well, of course! You remember, after my stint with the Living Theatre I was one of New York City's leading paranormal researchers until the bottom dropped out in '72.
Beryl: [cynically] Paranormal - is that what they're calling your kind these days?
Otho: Don't mind her. She's still upset because somebody dropped a house on her sister.

- Stop it. Shh!
Lydia: No.
Otho: As flies the lizard serpent fell as goblin vizard at the spell the buried, dead and slain rise again

Steven: On my last trip to the old country, a rival criminal organization kidnapped my son. It took me all this time to arrange his rescue. Rest assured that his captors were taught the error of their ways.
Huntress: Rest assured, I'm about to teach you the same lesson.