The Best Donna Landries Quotes

Donna: Those Jane Addams girls, I'll be damned if I didn't apportion hundreds of thousands of taxpayers' dollars to that school so they can parade their behinds around like a bunch of hoochie hos.
Candace: The McKinley group was good, but didn't seem all that rehearsed, but I liked their energy.
Rod: Well, I have to admit I have a soft spot for the Rolling Stones. I was at Altamont Speedway in '69. I actually saw that guy get stabbed. Can't get that image out of my noggin to this day.
Donna: I seriously don't know what either one of you are talking about. I have never been so bored. I mean, if I had to pick a group that I hated the least...
Artie: [listening through the door with a glass to his ear] It doesn't sound good, guys.

Candace: Okay, I'm just gonna come out and say it. This is a singing competition. I don't know how those deaf kids got in. They weren't singing; they were, like, honking and everyone was crying and I was, like, "Get off the stage. You're terrible and you're making me super uncomfortable."
Rod: Now, hold on just a second, Candy. Those Haverhurst kids twice had me reaching for my handkerchief, and those Jane Addams girls had it going on in all the right places.
Donna: Can I just say something? I have no idea what the hell I'm doing here. I'm serious. I don't understand what a glee club is, and I have never even heard the term "show choir" until about three hours ago when my boss told me he had tickets to NASCAR and I had to fill in at this fool event.