The Best Fairy Godmother Quotes

Fairy: He endured blistering winds and scorching deserts - he climbed the highest bloody room of the tallest bloody tower - and what does he find? Some gender-confused WOLF telling him that HIS princess is already married!
King: Well, it wasn't my fault - he didn't get there in time!

Fairy: Harold, you have forced me to do something I really don't want to do.
King: What... Where are we?
Fast: Well, hi there! Welcome to Friar's Fat Boy. May I take your order?
Fairy: My diet is ruined! I hope you're happy.