The Best Gigi Caldwell Quotes

Dean: Do yourself a favor. Stay away from my man. Wes and I are kind of an item, and I call dibs.
Gigi: You can't call dibs on a person.

Dean: I've already contacted the police department despite the fact that a person can't be considered missing until at least 72 hours has passed.
Grace: She could be dead by then!
Gigi: She could be dead now! I'm sorry, that's morbid, but she could be. She probably is!

Gigi: So you're accusing me of being a murderer or an accessory to murder because I lied on my résumé, and twenty years ago, a crazy person painted a picture of a girl who sort of looks like me. Pretty flimsy.

Gigi: Are you about to break into song? Because all I'm hearing out of your mouth is, "me-me-me-me-me!"

Gigi: Hammers are good for bashing people in the skull and watching them bleed to death.

Gigi: Boone, you are the weakest link.

Grace: My dad is a megadork and he's super into you, but I know him and, trust me, he's gonna start getting bummed about your clothes eventually.
Gigi: Okay, I'm not totally sure you understand how fashion works. In, like, five years, my clothes are gonna be super hip again!

Gigi: We can make it fun, huh? Like a Friends episode. But someone's, you know... trying to murder all the friends.

Gigi: Okay, Chanel, why don't you head back to the house and start getting it ready for rush? It's going to be a totally rad one this year! We have a side-boob mixer followed by a white party where everyone is encouraged to wear slash be white.

Gigi: Honey, have you been smoking ayahuasca? Because pass the dutchie on the left-hand side, sister. I want some of whatever it is you're smoking!

Gigi: I have to go. Now will you please go kill some people?

Gigi: I was just about to cook us up my mother's famous falafel enchiladas. It's an old family recipe which fits perfectly with the sort of vague, enigmatic quality of my skin tone.

Gigi: We are not kidnappers, we are murderers hellbent on revenge!

Denise: I'm getting a nervous feeling in my stomach. I might start fartin'. If I cut some, you promise not to tell anyone?
Gigi: I... No, I won't tell anyone.

Gigi: You jeopardized a plan that was almost twenty years in the making when you kidnapped Zayday. Then you disobeyed my instructions to only come out in the devil costume and strolled around campus in broad daylight disguised as... Joaquin Phoenix?
Boone: That disguise was brilliant!