20 Best Jo Grant Quotes

Brigadier: In any case, Doctor, every section of U.N.I.T. now has the search for The Master written into standing orders.
Dr. Who: Priority Z-144, I suppose.
Brigadier: Priority A-1, actually.
Dr. Who: Look, I tell you Brigadier, there is grave danger.
Brigadier: Danger of what, for heaven's sake?
Dr. Who: Well I'm not sure, but in my dream, I quite clearly... .
Brigadier: If it ever got out, you'll be the laughing stock of U.N.I.T. "A dream". Really, Doctor, you'll be consulting the entrails of a sheep, next.
Jo: [Bursts out laughing]

Doctor: Look, I said I don't want any tea today, thank you.
Jo: I'm not the tea lady.
Doctor: Then what the blazes are you doing in here? Don't you know this area is strictly out of bounds to everybody except the tea lady and the Brigadier's personal staff?
Jo: I'm your new assistant.
Doctor: Oh, no.

Jo: Doctor, stop being childish.
Dr. Who: What's wrong with being childish? I like being childish.

Jo: [about the Master] And now he's stuck here on Earth.
Doctor: Yes, I'm afraid so.
Brigadier: Think he'll turn up again, Doctor?
Doctor: Mmm, bound to.
Jo: You don't seem very worried about it.
Doctor: I'm not. As a matter of fact, Jo, I'm rather looking forward to it.

Jo: I don't believe it! It's bigger inside than out!
The: Yes. That's because the Tardis is dimensionally transcendental.
Jo: What does that mean?
The: It means that it's bigger inside than out.

Jo: You know Doctor, you're quite the most infuriating man I've ever met. I've asked you at least a million times, what is it?
Dr. Who: Extraordinary, I could have sworn I'd told you. It's a time sensor.
Jo: Oh I see.
Dr. Who: Do you? What's it do, then?
Jo: Well it umm ..
Dr. Who: Mm-hm?
Jo: It umm, it detects disturbances in a time field.
Dr. Who: Well done Jo, you're learning. It's exactly what you need if you happen to be looking for a TARDIS.
Jo: It's a TARDIS sniffer-outer.
Dr. Who: Yeah or any other time machine, for that matter. So, if The Master turns up again...
Jo: Bingo!
Dr. Who: As you so rightly say, bingo!

Jo: Do you know where we are, Dr. Tyler?
Dr. Tyler: Uh, no, I don't. Do YOU, Doctor?
Dr. Who: Yes. We're at the other end of that light streak of yours.
Dr. Tyler: What?
Dr. Who: We've been transported along it.
Dr. Tyler: That's in the black hole.
Dr. Who: That's exactly it. That's where we are - on a stable world in a universe of antimatter, an anomaly within an impossibility.

Brigadier: This time loop... thing, how did you get out of it?
Doctor: I simply boosted the circuits and broke free.
Brigadier: And you came back of your own accord?
Doctor: Well I...
Jo: Doctor?
Doctor: No. No, I'm afraid not. No, obviously the Time Lords have programmed the TARDIS always to return to Earth. It seems I'm some kind of a galactic yo-yo!

Jo: Makes it seem so pointless, really, doesn't it?
The: I felt like that once when I was young. It was the blackest day of my life.
Jo: Why?
The: Ah, well, that's another story. I'll tell you about it one day. The point is, that day was not only my blackest, it was also my best.
Jo: Hmm? Well, what do you mean?
The: Well, when I was a little boy, we used to live in a house that was perched halfway up the top of a mountain. And behind our house, there sat under a tree an old man. A hermit, a monk. He'd lived under this tree for half his lifetime, so they said, and had learnt the secret of life. So, when my black day came, I went and asked him to help me.
Jo: And he told you the secret? Well, what was it?
The: Well, I'm coming to that, Jo, in my own time. Ah, I'll never forget what it was like up there. All bleak and cold, it was. A few bare rocks with some weeds sprouting from them and some pathetic little patches of sludgy snow. It was just grey. Grey, grey, grey. Well, the tree the old man sat under was ancient and twisted, and the old man himself was... he was as brittle and dry as a leaf in the autumn.
Jo: But what did he say?
The: Nothing. Not a word. He just sat there silently, expressionless, and he listened whilst I poured out my troubles to him. I was too unhappy even for tears, I remember. And when I'd finished, he lifted a skeletal hand and he pointed. Do you know what he pointed at?
Jo: No.
The: A flower. One of those little weeds. Just like a daisy, it was. Well, I looked at it for a moment and suddenly I saw it through his eyes. It was simply glowing with life, like a perfectly cut jewel, and the colours... the colours were deeper and richer than anything you could possibly imagine. Yes, it was the daisiest daisy I'd ever seen.
Jo: And that was the secret of life? A daisy?
Jo: [scoffs] Honestly, Doctor!
The: Oh, yes, I laughed too when I first heard it. So, later, I got up and I ran down that mountain and I found that the rocks weren't grey at all. They were red, brown, purple and gold. And those pathetic little patches of sludgy snow, they were shining white. Shining white in the sunlight. You still frightened, Jo?
Jo: [smiling] No, not as much as I was.
The: That's good. I'm sorry I brought you to Atlantis.
Jo: I'm not.
The: Thank you.

Jo: I hate to ask, but who was that?
The: [to Jo] Me!
The: [to each other] ME!

Jo: What on earth is he doing inside a horsebox?
Doctor: It isn't exactly a horsebox. It just happens to look like one.
Jo: You mean there isn't a horse inside?
Doctor: No more than there's a policeman inside my police box.

The: You see, he is one of me.
Jo: Oh, I see. You're both Time Lords.
The: Well, quite. Well... not quite.
Jo: Oh.
The: Not JUST Time Lords, we're the SAME Time Lord.
The: Now, please, you're only confusing my assistant. Jo, it's all quite simple: I am he and he is me.
Jo: And we're all together, goo-goo-g'joob?

Jo: Pity. He was so sweet.
Dr. Who: Yes, wasn't I?
Brigadier: Yes, well, as far as I'm concerned, Doctor, one of you is enough. More than enough.

[Bram separates a section of the TARDIS console. Voices from the past start leaking out and overlapping each other]
Susan: [as said to Ian and Barbara] Well, I made up the name TARDIS from the initials: Time And Relative Dimension In Space.
The: ...dimensionally transcendental.
Jo: What's that mean?
The: You sexy thing!
Idris: See, you do call me that! Is it my name?
The: You bet it's your name!
The: [as said to Leela] That's trans-dimensional engineering. A key Time Lord discovery.
The: [as said to Rose Tyler] The assembled hordes of Genghis Khan couldn't get through that door, and, believe me, they've tried.
Martha: It's just a box...
Amy: We are in space!
Martha: ...with that room crammed in!
Ian: That thing that looks like a Police Box, standing in a junkyard, it can move anywhere in time and space?

The: [Sees Jo deep in thought] Penny for them, Miss Grant.
Jo: You. What are YOU doing here?
The: To coin a phrase, I've come to take you away from all this.
Jo: What are you talking about?
The: Surely you don't want to spend the rest of your life in here, do you?
Jo: Well I'm not going anywhere with you, that's for sure.
The: Oh, but you are, you know. Believe it or not, I am a fully accredited commissioner from the planet Sirius IV, and you and The Doctor are two dangerous criminals being handed over into my custody.
Jo: So it was you. YOU ordered those Ogrons to attack the ships and pretend they were Draconians.
The: But of course. Those lumbering idiots could never have thought up such a brilliant scheme by themselves.

[last lines]
[the Brigadier bursts into the TOMTIT lab, weapon drawn, with two UNIT soldiers behind him]
Brigadier: Right, stand quite still, everyone!
Brigadier: [pauses, assessing the room] Uh... where's the Master?
The: A very good question, Brigadier.
Brigadier: Doctor. Glad to see you're back. Miss Grant, what on earth are you doing in that extraordinary get-up? And where, for heaven's sake, is Sergeant Benton?
Stuart: [grabbing Dr. Ruth Ingram's arm] The baby! We forgot the baby!
[Stuart and Ruth look over the defunct TOMTIT device. Sgt. Benton rises from behind, nude, having burst out of his infant form's diaper]
Sergeant: [shyly] Would somebody please mind telling me exactly what's happening around here?
The: [laughing]

Dr. Who: Do you know, Jo, I sometimes think that military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
Jo: You're not very grateful, are you?
Dr. Who: What, for having my time wasted?
Jo: He did save our lives, you know. Well, didn't he?
Dr. Who: You're quite right, Jo. I'll apologise. If I have the time.

[Jo brings the hungry Sergeant Benton some food]
Sergeant: Ah, you've saved my life.
Captain: [offscreen] Sergeant Benton!
Sergeant: [jumping to attention] Sir!
[to himself]
Sergeant: Oh, no.
Captain: [entering] Just what do you think you're up to, Benton?
Sergeant: Uh, I was just checking, sir.
Captain: Yes, well I want you to go and check on number 3 patrol. Move, Sergeant Benton.
Sergeant: Sir.
[he leaves]
Captain: Jo, how thoughtful.
[he helps himself to the cheese and wine that Benton didn't even get to touch]
Jo: That wasn't very kind of you.
Captain: RHIP, Jo.
Jo: Pardon?
Captain: Rank Has Its Privileges.

Jo: Those things that attacked us. You said you'd seen something like it before.
Doctor: Something very similar, certainly. They emerged from some caves in Derbyshire.
Jo: The Silurians, wasn't it? The Brigadier was telling me.
Doctor: That's a complete misnomer. The chap who discovered them must have got the period wrong. No, properly speaking, they should have been called the Eocenes.

[the lab apparatus the Doctor is working on catches fire, so Jo puts it out with a fire extinguisher]
Doctor: You've ruined it!
Jo: But your bench was on fire.
Doctor: Three months delicate work and now look at it, you ham-fisted bun vendor!