The Best Lee Garner Quotes

Lucifer: This is your lucky day.
Lee: It doesn't really seem like it.

Lee: What the hell?
Lucifer: Precisely.

Lucifer: How much did you owe?
Lee: Like, 700,000 dollars, give or take a few.
Lucifer: For that much, I'd have killed you myself.

Lee: You just seem like a really sad devil guy.

Lucifer: I am here because I'm the King of Hell. This is my job. This is my duty.
Lee: Now who's making excuses?

Lucifer: So, what can you tell me about ol' Dougie-Doug here?
Lee: Not much, just that he seems like a really scary, powerful guy.
Lucifer: Obviously. He's got a skinhead and neck tats.

Lucifer: Sooner or later, you are going to disappoint them all over again! And so you'd rather stay away for all eternity.
Lee: You're right. It's true, all of it.
Lucifer: [to himself] It is...

Lucifer: Give me all the usual background info. What about his priors? Any speeding tickets, overdue library books?
Lee: How the hell am I supposed to know any of that?

Lee: Are you sure this is my hell?
Lucifer: Well who else's would it be?
Lee: I don't know, but I'm thinking that you're just here torturing yourself.

Lee: Hell to the yes!