The Best Ludwig Strasser Quotes

Col. Hogan: [Strasser opens the door to his apartment] You sent for a plumber?
Ludwig: No, you made a mistake.
[attempts to close the door on Colonel Hogan, but he bursts in]
Col. Hogan: No, Herr Strasser. No mistake.
Ludwig: Who are you?
Col. Hogan: There are no penguins in Gibraltar.
Ludwig: There are no Canaries in the Canary Islands.
Col. Hogan: Blue is the most attractive color.
Ludwig: White is more suitable for brides.
Col. Hogan: That's why there are so many June weddings.
Ludwig: Good. Give me the money.
Col. Hogan: Not so fast. What about the map?
Ludwig: Oh, I've got it. You'll get it when you give me the money.
Col. Hogan: There's a little problem.
Ludwig: Problem? You don't have 100 thousand marks?
Col. Hogan: Not exactly.
Ludwig: Exactly how much do you have?
Col. Hogan: Nothing. But we'll get you the money in a few days. If you give me the map now.
Ludwig: In the spy business, there are no credit accounts.
Col. Hogan: Doesn't it mean anything to you that you may be saving a lot of lives?
Ludwig: Oh, that's another thing about the spy business. The only thing we're interested in saving is money.
Col. Hogan: You know, that big heart of yours is gonna swell right up and choke you to death.
Ludwig: In case you have any foolish ideas, the map isn't here. But I can lay my hands on it in five minutes. When I need it.
Col. Hogan: Thanks. You saved both of us a little trouble. I'll see what I can do about getting the money.
Ludwig: Oh, and, um, while you're here...
Col. Hogan: Yes?
Ludwig: Could you do something about a dripping faucet?
Col. Hogan: That's another thing about the spy business. We don't do anything that drips.
[walks out the door and closes it behind him]