The Best Madison Quotes

Shelby: [Shelby and her friends are looking at the menu, looking what they want to eat] Why do I have the feeling that I won't be able to get a Zone Meal here?
Madison: I already ate.
David: Madison, laxatives don't qualify as a food group. Surprised you didn't know that.
Shelby: [to David] Stop it!
[sees Sam coming toward them]
Shelby: Well! If it isn't Diner Girl!
Sam: [reluctantly taking Shelby's order] What can I get you guys?
Shelby: What can I get here that has no sugar, no carbs, and is fat free?
Sam: Water.
Ryan: [Shelby smirks at Sam nastily, as the boys laugh] Water? Feisty!
Madison: [Madison looks at Sam, confused] Was that supposed to be a joke?
Austin: [chuckling] It was funny!
Shelby: [smirks at Sam and orders her drink] I'll have a Voss.
Sam: [looking at Shelby, confused] Excuse me?
Caitlyn: [scoffing at Sam] It's water. From Norway?
Shelby: [to her friends and Austin's friends laughing] She's the worst!
[scoffs]
Shelby: [to Shelby] Sorry, we only have water from the Valley.
Shelby: Oh. Well, then I'll have an iced tea.
David: [Sam jots it down on the notepad] Make that two!
[to Sam, as a joke]
David: And you know, I'm still waiting on that breakfast burrito, Diner Girl!
Madison: [Shelby's friends and Austin's friends laugh at Sam as she gets the drinks. Madison shoos her away] See ya!
Shelby: [about Sam] She is *so* not getting a tip!
Austin: [turning to Shelby] Shelby, we really need to talk... privately.
Shelby: Anything you say to me, you can say in front of my peeps.
[Madison and Caitlyn, as well as Ryan and David lean forward to hear what Austin has to say]
Austin: Okay.
[Shelby looks at Austin]
Austin: I want to break up.
Shelby: [shocked at the fact Austin is dumping her] What?
David: [about the breakup] Ouch!
Caitlyn: [Madison is shocked] That was harsh!
Shelby: [to Austin, asking why he dumped her] Are you in love with somebody else?
Austin: [smiling] I think so!
Caitlyn: [to Austin] No way!
Ryan: [to Austin] What? Who, bro?
Austin: [to Ryan] I don't know.
[to Shelby, with the "Just friends" speech]
Austin: But we can still be...
Shelby: [points her finger at Austin, warning him not to say it] *Don't* say the word "friends"! Now, fortunate for you, I'm gonna... overlook this mental breakdown of yours. Look, just chill out, we're gonna get ready for the dance, and; I'll see you there. Hmm?
[Shelby and her friends leave the table]
Ryan: [to Shelby and her friends] Later. Late!
David: [amazed he did that to Shelby] That went well, bro!
Ryan: No, she took it well!
Austin: Good looking out.
David: [Austin and his friends leave the table. David says to Sam] Later, Diner Girl!
Ryan: [to Sam] Too late!
Sam: [Austin is about to give Sam a tip, but she dismisses it as she comes back with the drinks] Oh, don't worry about it.
Rhonda: [Sam comes back to Rhonda and puts the iced teas on the bench]
[Rhonda refers to Shelby and her friends]
Rhonda: You know, those kids remind me of why I used to fight in school.